Quick reminder:

Mother- Machi

Mom- Pakunoda

Dad- Chrollo

Gay- Phinks

Hole puncher- Franklin

Everyone else's usernames are their actual names

I woke up to the sound of someone entering the room, though I pretended to still be asleep.

"Aww."  Kikyo whispered, taking a picture of us before leaving the room again. After awhile I decided to check my phone.

5:25

23 new messages from Hot people groupchat
6 new messages from Shalnark
9 new messages from Mother
8 new messages from Mom
17 new messages from Dad
587 new messages from Hisoka

Why the fuck did Hisoka send me five hundred eighty seven messages!? I quickly checked Hisoka's chat.

Hisoka

Cool kid is now online

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

Hisoka
I'm bored~

(You get the idea-)

Y/n
What the fuck-

Hisoka is now online

Hisoka
I'm-

Y/n
I will kill myself if you say I'm bored

Hisoka
Fine~

Y/n
Now what do you want-

Hisoka
Am I not allowed to talk to you without wanting something~

Y/n
😐

Hisoka
Fine~ Fine~ I wanted to know how
your Nen training was going~

Y/n
I haven't trained at all -_-

Hisoka
That's a shame~ I'll have to train you
then~

Y/n
Ima just-

Y/n is now offline

Hisoka
⭐️-_-💧

Hisoka is now offline

———————————————————————
———————————————————————

Hot people
(Phantom troupe groupchat)

Cool kid is now online

Cool kid
Hi

8 people are now online

Dad
Where have you been?

Mother
Are you hurt!?

Mom
Are you going to die!?

Gay
I never thought I'd say this but

Gay
Thank god you're here

Nobunaga
^ Things have been chaos since you
left

Shalnark
At least they're not by Hisoka anymore-

Hisoka
Ouch~

Hisoka
Don't worry~ I left them with someone arguably more dangerous~

Mother
You what!

Mom
Who!?

Dad
Y/n who are you with right now?

Shalnark
I'll start tracking there location again

Shalnark is now offline

Cool kid
Currently I'm with Kalluto

Dad
Who did Hisoka leave you with

Cool kid
Illumi

Cool kid
But he didn't hurt me😌

Shalnark is now online

Shalnark
Umm- they're at Kukuroo mountain

Mother
Isn't that where the Zoldycks live?

Cool kid
Yep-

Dad
Hisoka left you with Zoldycks?

Cool kid
He left me with one- and then I met
that Zoldyck's family

Hisoka
They wanted to go with him~

Hisoka
It's not my fault~

Cool kid
So anyways- Illumi's mother wants me
to marry Illumi

Hisoka
Absolutely not~

Dad
No.

Mother
No.

Mom
No.

Shalnark
No.

Feitan
no.

Cool kid
Okay I understand everyone else
but Feitan?

Feitan
No.

Cool kid
Okayyy-

Cool kid
So anyways- I'm bored

Mother
😐

Mom
😑

Dad
Not important right now

Cool kid
But I'm bored- and I can't move because Kalluto's using me as a pillow

Mom
What

Mother
Who's Kalluto

Shalnark
Are you dating them!?

Cool kid
They're like 10-

Shalnark
Okay-

Mother
Good.

Cool kid
😐😐😑😐😐😑😐😐

Cool kid
So y'all just very possessive of me
now?

Dad
Yes

Hisoka
You belong to us~

Cool kid
I would argue but y'all would just
kidnap me to prove your point-

Dad
I'm leaning towards kidnapping you

Cool kid
You to!?

Dad
You've been forgetting to text us and
you'd be safer here

Cool kid
Safer with group A of murderers then
with group B of murderers- makes
sense

Dad
A- we're not murderers

Dad
B- yes the Zoldycks are dangerous

Cool kid
I mean so far three of them love me
and two are okay with me so-

Shalnark
Of course they do 😑

Cool kid
It's not my fault murderers love me!

Mother
We should've kidnapped you a month
ago

Cool kid
Excuse me- I'd prefer to not be
Kidnapped please

Dad
We won't kidnap you for now

Cool kid
Ima just not complain- that's probably
the best I'm getting

Hisoka
It is~

Cool kid
Nice 👍

Cool kid
So what do y'all wanna do-

Mother
Tell us what you have been doing
the last couple weeks

Cool kid
Uhhh- let's see I passed the hunter exam

Cool kid
I assassinated someone

Cool kid
I started a cult

Cool kid
oh yeah I went on a date

Cool kid
Then met the Zoldycks

Cool kid
That's about it

Mother
You what!?

Cool kid
There's a list 😐 just check it-

Hisoka
You went on a date?~

Cool kid
Actually ignore that-

Cool kid has deleted one message

Cool kid
I have no idea what you're talking
about 😗

Mom
With who!?

Dad
Im going to murder someone

Hisoka
Wasn't Illumi supposed to be with
you?~

Cool kid
Yeah Illumi already murdered
them :(

Mother
Good.

Hisoka
I wanted to murder them instead~

Cool kid
Sucks lol 😗

Hisoka
⭐️-_-💧

Cool kid
Anyways I'm boreddd

Mom
I would complain but at least you're
texting

Cool kid
I've been busy 😑

Mother
You literally went on a date- you
couldn't be that busy

Cool kid
I was busy being on a date

Mother
If you ever go on a date again I'm
kidnapping you

Mom
I'm kidnapping you*

Mother
I am*

Mom
I am*

Feitan
i am

Cool kid
What???

Hisoka
Im also confused~

Feitan
stopped arguing

Cool kid
Ohhhh- that makes sense

Mother
Whatever- we'll kidnap you*

Cool kid
I like how you all aren't murderers you
just talk about murdering everyone you
dislike and threaten to kidnap me

Mother
...

Mom
They have a point-

Dad
Just ignore that

Cool kid
Lol 😂

Cool kid
It's funny because I've seen Hisoka
murder people

Cool kid
And by association I'm pretty sure
you all are murderers

Nobunaga
...

Mother
Could just not be observant for a
second

Mom
^ Yeah just ignore that

Dad
You don't trust us?

Cool kid
You talk about kidnapping me and
murdering everyone I'm close to

Mother
...

Cool kid
So being the idiot that I am- of course
I trust y'all-

Mom
We need to work on your self
preservation

Cool kid
What's that?

Mother
Exactly

Cool kid
So anyways what y'all doing-

Mother
Texting you

Shalnark
Nothing

Mom
Nothing but texting you

Hisoka
Nothing darling~

Dad
Reading and texting you

Nobunaga
Nothing

Gay
I'm sadly texting you

Cool kid
Boring-

Cool kid
Y'all are boring for being murderers

Dad
We're not murderers

Cool kid
Is this just gonna be you telling me to
ignore the blatantly obvious fact that
y'all are murderers?

Mother
Yes

Cool kid
Okay 👍

Cool kid
You aren't murderers then

Mom
Exactly

Cool kid
I wonder what's for breakfast-

Cool kid
50/50 chance it's poisoned food-

Shalnark
Then don't eat it-

Cool kid
But I'm hungry and that would be
rude-

Mother
You could die!

Cool kid
They'd only give me enough to make
me sick to build up my immunity-

Cool kid
So it's fine-

Mom
No it's not!

Cool kid
Why?

Dad
Hurting you to build up immunity
isn't okay

Cool kid
Someone should tell my mother that

Cool kid
Real mother*

Shalnark
I'm going to kill them.

Mother
Im going to torture them.

Mom
Im going to give them to Feitan.

Cool kid
Wait- what's Fei gonna do-

Feitan
feitan* torture

Cool kid
Fei* and that's cool

Feitan
feitan* thanks

Cool kid
Fei* no problem

Cool kid
(For legal reasons this is a joke please
don't murder me- I'm terrified of you)

Feitan
...fei*

Cool kid
Yes!!!!

Shalnark
How the hell did you not die!?

Mother
How!?

Gay
Explain!?

Nobunaga
I need answers

Dad
Feitan was tamed?

Mom
What the fuck!?

Hisoka
What~

Cool kid
Idk but now I'm more terrified of
him

Feitan
good

Cool kid
See!?

Shalnark
The fact that he hasn't killed you
is confusing

Cool kid
Probably because of Chrollo-

Nobunaga
He'd at least break your arm or
something!

Cool kid
We're not talking Irl- he's not going
to Kukuroo mountain-

Gay
He doesn't even seem mad!

Cool kid
Probably because I'm terrified of him-

Cool kid
Having people be scared of you is
hilarious-

Feitan
yes

Cool kid
See?

Mother
How do you keep doing this-

Cool kid
What?

Mom
Making dangerous people fall in love
with you

Cool kid
Feitan doesn't love me and he's the
only one that's that dangerous??

Hisoka
⭐️-_-💧

Cool kid
You could kill me but don't want to
until I'm strong so not dangerous-

Hisoka
Fine~

Cool kid
Also- you love me?? ❤️❤️❤️

Hisoka
No~

Cool kid
Damn 💔

Cool kid
That hurts-

Cool kid
-1 point

Mother
Yessss!

Mom
Yes!!!!!

Hisoka
Seriously~

Cool kid
Yes 🙌

Feitan
hilarious

Cool kid
Agreed

Cool kid
You can almost see him pouting
from here-

Cool kid
Oop- ima get off- I'll text tomorrow

Mother
You better

Cool kid is now offline
8 people are now offline

Word count: 1565

Fun Facts:

• Feitan likes it when people are scared of him, seeing how he hangs out with strong people (and he's short) nobody's ever really scared of him-

• Feitan doesn't use caps because it annoys people, so when he does use caps it's because he's to annoyed to remember not to.

• Best parent chart is at
Chrollo- 7
Hisoka- 6
Machi- 5
Paku- 5