"You killed them..." Urara muttered, starring out the window.

"That's so cool!" Shuko shouted.

"You said you were strong but that's insane!" Anzai added. I know, I'm way better than Killua.

"Love how we still ignore the fact that they're a murderer. But anyways, that was awesome! They were dead before I could blink!" Harou yelled. Yes, ignore the murderer part.

"I know! Our cult leader is super strong!" Shuko yelled.

"That was cool, just don't feed their ego to much." Urara said. No, feed my ego.

"Oh yeah! Back on topic, how was the date?" Shuko asked. Fuck.

"Yeah! You're wearing Illumi's jacket!" Harou pointed out. Uh... well.. I mean.

"Can we go back to complimenting me?" I muttered.

"Nope! Now, how was the date? Did Illumi treat you right? He probably did, you're literally made for each other!" Seriously?

❤️‍🔥After telling them all about the date❤️‍🔥

"Woah! Illumi's such a gentleman." Shuko said.

"You should marry him." Anzai added. What?

"*Cough* What!?" I shouted.

"Yeah! Marry them Illumi, I can help you buy a ring!" Shuko added.

"Y/n needs to meet my parents first." Illumi replied. Thank you!

"Oh yeah! And you'll meet Y/n's parents." Harou said.

"Yes. That would be hilarious." I replied.

"...It would be." Illumi agreed. My mom would flip.

"Huh? Why would it be hilarious." Shuko asked.

"No reason." I replied.

"Tell us!" Shuko shouted.

"No can do."

"Please?" Shuko asked, using puppy eyes.

"Yeah please?" Harou added, also using puppy eyes.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Illumi can you tell us?" Urara asked. No, no he cannot.

"No." I said for him.

"..."

"Pleaseeeeeee" Shuko begged.

"No." Illumi replied.

"Hmph, fine." She said, rolling her eyes.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Please?" Shuko begged again. Causing me to laugh.

"Alright, basically my mom wants his family dead because they killed my dad." I explained.

"His family killed your dad and you're dating him?" Urara questioned. Well when you put it like that...

"Maybe you shouldn't marry Illumi..." Harou added. Exactly.

"No, they're still a perfect couple!" Shuko disagreed. You seriously think that? Someone disagree please!

"..."

"...Yeah." What?

"Honestly yeah." You to!?

"They are a cute couple.." Cmon!

"Agreed." Illumi!?

"Perfect! Now get married!" Shuko said, pushing me toward Illumi.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"Aw, you don't want to marry me?" Illumi asked.

"...Shut up."

"It wasn't a no!" Oh my fucking god!

"Uhhh, I think we should leave." Anzai mentioned, pointing out the window. Oh, yeah probably.

"Yeah, hey Illu?"

"You used a nickname!" Shuko shouted. I know, now shut up.

"Yes?"

"Do you have anywhere they can stay?" I asked.

"The hotel would work." Illumi replied.

"So... can we no longer say we were kidnapped?" Harou questioned,

"Nah, the blood bath will probably convince them that you were kidnapped actually, who would think that teenagers killed twenty police officers." I pointed out.

"Ooo, yeah!" Shuko agreed.

"So where's the hotel?" Urara asked.

"Just follow us." Illumi said, exiting the building.

✨At the Hotel✨

"This is so nice!" Shuko shouted when she walked into the room.

"So we're all going to be living together?" Urara asked.

"Illumi is buying a room for everyone." I explained.

"We get a whole room!?" Shuko shouted.

"Yeah?" I said. Why wouldn't they get a room?

"Don't bother, rich people things." Anzai muttered.

"Here." Illumi said, handing the children keys.

"Thanks!" Shuko said before leaving the room.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So... Illu?" Illumi questioned.

"Shut up, it was to much work to say your name." I respond.

"Sure." Illumi says before heading to the bedroom. Bitch.

Hmmm, what to do, what to do... time to annoy Illu... I mean Illumi.

"Illumiiiiiiii- *Gasp*" woah.

"You put your hair up!"

"Amazing observation." Illu said.

"You look so cool!"

"...Thanks" Why did I come in here again? Oh, yeah.

"Anyways I'm bored!" I complained.

"Nice." Illumi replied.

"I need something to do."

"You have a cult."

"But I want to spend time with you."

"...Fine." Ha! I win.

"So what're you doing?" I ask.

"Practicing Nen. You should try to use Ren for as long as possible." Illumi instructed. I activated Ren, sitting near Illumi.

30 minutes later

I deactivated Ren, on the verge of passing out. "You did pretty well." Illumi complemented.

"...Thanks." I mumbled, resting my head in Illumi's shoulder.

A unspecified amount of time later

"Y/n wake up."

"Mm, five more minutes."

"Y/n, I recommend waking up." I slowly opened my eyes to see everyone surrounding me. Did I fall asleep on Illumi?

"Why'd you wake them upppppp! It was so cuteee." Shuko whined.

"I got a picture though!" Harou said.

"I'm going back to sleep." I mumbled, laying back down.

"Awwwwww." Shuko said.

"Shut up, they're trying to sleep." Illumi said, shooing them away.

"Sorry." Shuko whispered, leaving the room.

I'm surprised Illumi is allowing this...

"You going to go back to sleep?" Illumi questions.

"No... just wanna lay here a little longer..." I muttered, still exhausted from last night's training.

"Alright." Illumi replied.

Another unspecified amount of time later

"Good morning." I mumbled, walking into the main room.

"Good morning. How was your sleep?" Shuko questioned. I ignored her, deciding that finding food is more important. I ended up with a bowl of (favorite cereal).

"Are you mad you didn't get to cuddle with Illumi longer?" Anzai asked. Fuck you all.

"Yes." I replied before taking another bite of cereal.

"..."

"..."

"They're the cutest couple ever!" Shuko squealed.

"Hey Illu can you teach them how to fight?" I asked, ignoring Shuko again.

"Sure." Illumi replied, taking a sip of coffee.

"Teach us how to fight?" Urara asked in a confused tone.

"I want you guys to be able to defend yourself." I replied.

"Aww! You care about us." Anzai said.

"I liked you better when you didn't talk." I responded.

"Ouch."

"Wait! Who's your favorite?" Shuko asked.

"Illumi."

"No, like out of us."

"Yeah we want to know!" Harou added.

"I'm your favorite huh?" Illumi said.

"You're warm, making you my favorite." I replied.

"So you like to cuddle? I'm starting to think you fell asleep on me on purpose."

"...Shut up." I said, taking another bite of cereal.

"Aww Y/n and Illumi should kiss!" Shuko said, causing me and Illumi to glare at her. "...Fine you don't have to kiss." She said, turning away.

"Anyways, you should just teach them the basics. No pain training." I informed Illumi.

"Pain training?" Urara questioned.

"You basically get tortured until you basically don't feel pain. For now you'll just train with Illu though." I responded.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You keep on saying Illu." Shuko pointed out.

"I'm more bothered by the 'for now'." Urara muttered.

"..."

"Maybe Shuko can do pain training..."

"Nope! I never said anything!" She yelled, hiding behind Anzai. I let out a small chuckle at her actions.

"What are you going to be doing while I train them?" Illumi asked.

"Practicing Nen." I replied, heading towards the bedroom.

"Alright."

About 5 days later

"Yay training is finally over!" Shuko shouted.

"It wasn't that bad." Illumi said. Earning glares in return.

"It was terrible." Anzai complained.

"We got a whole one break this week!" Harou added.

"Y'all got a break? Damn Illu I never said go easy on them." I said.

"You didn't even do training!" Shuko yelled.

"I did that shit when I was like three." I replied, earning blank stares in return.

"I will never wish to be an assassin again." Anzai muttered.

"We have to, Illu and Y/n are both assassins, and we're basically their children." Shuko said, making me almost choke.

"I- what?"

"Well you both sleep in the same room, take care of us, make sure we don't get hurt, which makes you our parents." Shuko explained. I mean...

"...She's technically right." Illumi added.

"Plus you've already illegally adopted us!" Harou added.

"You know what, sure." I said. there's no point in arguing when they're right.

"Wait! Do we still have to go home?" Shuko asked.

"Sadly, I'm pretty sure we do. Y/n and Illumi are busy." Urara replied.

"Aww, but we have better parents now!" Harou complained.

"You'll have to, I'll kidnap you again at some point. At least we have a chat though."

"Oh yeah! Add Illumi to the chat!" Shuko said. I added Illumi to the chat, forcing him to change his name to one with sparkles.

"Alright, bye! text us if anything happens!" I said.

Word count: 1555

Fun Facts:

• I personally believe Illumi buys hella expensive hotel rooms and stuff. (Each hotel room is basically a house) Because he's never not had money he doesn't understand that people can't afford shit, which is why he'd go to a fancy restaurant wearing casual clothes.

• Should I make the cult Illumi's and Y/n's (not legally) adopted children? Like Illumi be sitting at the dinner table and suddenly he's just like "gotta go my child got hurt." And the Zoldycks are just like W h a t
——————————
A- It'd be hilarious
B- it would give Y/n and Illumi a reason to meet up
C- Illumi probably would say something like "you don't need friends." to them but like- but the only friends they need are each other anyways-

• Tell me what Nen type you think each cult member is :3 Also any ability ideas are greatly appreciated!