(I'm sorry but why he look like that- 🤣🤣🤣- also a funny one because of last one-)

"Next match, Y/n vs Hisoka. Please step forward." The referee says. Me and Hisoka head to the middle of the room.

"Start!"

"They're not moving.." A salmon haired guy says.

"Hisoka's obviously stronger..." Leorio adds.

"Yes, but he may not want to hurt his lover." Kurapika mentions.

I can't do this anymore... "I'm- sorry you guys- still think- we're dating?" I'm barely able to speak with how much I'm laughing.

"You're not dating!?" Killua yells.

"Nope~ Y/n thought telling people that would be hilarious~" Hisoka replies. Wait, did he say my name?

"You said my name!" I shout.

"Hm~ it seems I did~" Hisoka replies. This a huge deal, he never says my name!

"Can you two fight already!" Leorio yells.

"I'm kinda waiting for Hisoka to forfeit." I respond.

"If your not dating, why would he forfeit?" An old man asks.

"Hm~ I just can't hurt you, I don't have to forfeit~" Hisoka adds.

Hot people
(Phantom troupe groupchat)

Cool kid is now online

Cool kid
Daddd Hisoka won't forfeit our
match

5 people are now online

Dad
Forfeit

Hisoka
Seriously darling?~

Cool kid
Yes- now forfeit

Hisoka
No~

Mother
You better not touch them.

Hisoka
And if I do~

Mom
We'll murder you.

Cool kid
Wait- why do I even want to win-

Hisoka
Superiority~

Cool kid
Oh- ok-

Cool kid
Anyways forfeit

Hisoka
No~

Cool kid
What do I have to do to get you to
forfeit???

Shalnark
Like how y'all forget we're here-

Hisoka
Hm~ Attack me~

Chrollo
Don't attack him-

Cool kid
No thanks-

Shalnark
Ignored- 💔

Cool kid
Love how everyone else is confused-
they just be like-

Cool kid
*🧍🏼are they texting rn?*

Hisoka
We probably should stop~

Shalnark
No-

Cool kid
K-

Shalnark
🥺😢😭💔

Cool kid
Lol- sorry Shal-

Hisoka
Also you have an amazing mom~

Hisoka is now offline
Cool kid is now offline

Mom
Tf-

Shalnark
???

In Real Life

"*Gasp* Take that back!" I yell, causing applicants to stare at me. I can't believe he said that! My mom is absolute shit!

"No~" Hisoka replies. I lunge at him, tackling him to the ground. "Aw~ you wanted a hug that bad?~" Hisoka taunts, earning him a punch in the face.

"Forfeit you bitch." I say while standing up.

"And if I don't?~" Hisoka asks.

"I can and will abandon you." I respond.

"Hm~ I wouldn't let you~" Hisoka replies.

"I'll kill myself then." I threaten.

"I wouldn't let you do that either~" Hisoka replies.

"Fuck, ummm." I have no ideas!

"Hm~ You could forfeit~" Hisoka suggests.

"No thanks. Ooo! I could just continue saying facts."

"No! Absolutely not! I was going insane!"  The bald ninja turtle yelled.

"Facts?" Killua questioned.

"You don't want to know kid." The salmon haired guy said.

"I forfeit~" Hisoka says, walking towards the wall. That was surprisingly easy.

Timeskip because all the fights before Killua's are boring

"Killua vs Gittarackur, begin!" This is interesting.. does Killua even know that he's up against Illumi?

"It's been a while Kil." I'll take that as a no. Illumi started to take out his pins, which is hella interesting to watch.

"Big brother.."

"Hey." Killua be having a panic attack?

"Killua's older brother?" Leorio asks.

"He uses those needles to change the shape of his face?" Kurapika states. I wonder if the needles hurt?

"I heard that you stabbed Mom and Milluki. Mom was crying." Knowing their twisted family, probably out of joy.

"Anyone would cry if their son did that to them." Leorio adds.

"Tears of joy." Illumi corrects. "She was so happy to see you'd grown up. But she was worried about you leaving home, so she asked me to check up on you. What a coincidence, I didn't know you wanted to be a Hunter. I'm trying to get a license for my next job."

"I don't really want to be a Hunter. I just felt like taking the exam." Killua corrected.

"I see, that's a relief. Then I have some advice for you. You're not cut out to be a Hunter. You were born to be a killer." That's kinda harsh..

"You're a puppet of darkness, without any passion." You're just describing yourself now. "You don't want anything, or wish for anything. You can only feel pleasure, when people die. That's how Dad and I raised you."

"It's true, I don't want to become a Hunter. But... even I have something I want..."

"No you don't."

"I do! There's something I really want!"

"Tell me what it is that you want."

"..."

"What's wrong? There's nothing that you really want, is there?"

"That's not it! I... want to become friends with Gon." You already are friends?

"That's impossible." Illumi you fucking bitch.

"I agree.."

"Y/n!?" Kurapika shouts.

"You already are friends, you can't become friends with someone you're already friends with." I explain, causing Illumi to glare at me.

"You'll never be able to make friends. You're only ability is to discern whether or not you can kill them. That's what you were taught."

"You're wrong.."

"Killua! I don't give a damn if he's your brother... but.. He's a worthless piece of crap! Don't listen to him! Just beat the crap out of him like usual and win! You said you want to become friends with Gon? Are you serious? You already are friends!" Leorio shouts. I literally just said that.

"Is that true?" Did you just ignore me when I said it?

"Hell yeah, idiot!" Leorio shouts.

"Oh man, that's not good. So he already considers Kil a friend. Alright! I'll kill Gon!" What.

"A killer doesn't need any friends, they get in the way. Where is he?" Illumi if you touch Gon, I will make sure you die.

"Please wait! The match is st-" That looks painful.

"Where is he?"

"In the waiting room over there."

"Thank you." At least he's polite.

"Hisoka, would Chrollo be able to kill Illumi?" I ask.

"Definitely~" Hisoka replies.

"Do you think he would if I asked?" If Illumi even touches Gon, I swear.

"Most likely~" Good.

"This won't do. I need a Hunter license to do my job... But if I kill them I'll fail, and Kil will pass automatically. Oh no, the same thing will happen if I kill Gon. Oh yeah! I'll pass the exam before killing Gon." I will end your entire bloodline.

"Did you hear that, Kil? You have to beat me if you want to save Gon. Will you fight me for your friend? You can't do it, can you? Because you're more worried about whether or not you can defeat me. And you already have your answer, 'I'm not strong enough to beat my big brother.' Never fight an enemy you can't defeat. I drilled that into you, right? Don't move. If you move an inch, I'll assume that the fight has begun. And if our bodies make contact, that will also mean the fight has begun. There's only one way to stop me. You know what that is."

"Take him out Killua! We won't let him kill you or Gon! We'll stop him, whatever it takes!" Leorio shouts.

"I surrender.. I lose.."

"Oh good! Then the battles over. I lied, Kil. I was lying about killing Gon. I was just testing you. But now I have my answer. You don't have the right to make friends. Nor do you need them."

"If assassins don't need friends.. why do you and Hisoka have matching crop tops?" I question.

"..."

"A good point darling~ I thought we were friends Illumi~ you've wounded me~" Hisoka taunts.

"I hate both of you." Illumi responds.

"Hate? That's an emotion right? Have we made the emotionless assassin feel an emotion?" I ask.

"I believe we have~" Hisoka adds, earning us a glare from Illumi. (Oh don't look at me like that- I'll stop)

"Leorio vs Bodoro! Begin!" What the fuck is Killua doing? Well, shit.

"Killua has been disqualified, all other applicants pass." Killua you imbecile. "Please follow me so you can fill out paperwork."

{Amazing door slamming sound affect}

Gon? Well shits about to go down. "Apologize to Killua!"

"Apologize? For what?" Illumi do you have no braincells?

"You don't know what you did wrong?"

"Nope."

"You're not qualified to be his brother."

"I wasn't aware I needed to qualify to be his sibling.." Gon no! I was trying to braid his hair...

"Friends don't need to qualify either! Don't bother apologizing. Just take me to see Killua."

"What will you do then?"

"That's obvious! I'm gonna bring Killua back!"

"You make it sound as though I kidnapped Kil... He walked out by his own choice."

"But it wasn't by choice. You were manipulating him. It's the same thing as kidnapping!" Oh look they're holding hands.

Timeskip brought to you by- Illumi's now broken arm.

"Then we now declare the eight members present, to be new Licensed Hunters!" Yay, it's over! Now, why the fuck did I pass?

"Follow me darling~" Why- it's probably best not to question it.

"Tell me where Killua is." Oh, so we're eavesdropping.

"Are you really going to try and get him back? I think that's a bad idea."  Gon would die before giving up.

"I don't care what you think! Killua is my friend! I'll get him back no matter what!" See?

"Do they feel the same way?"

"You bet." Leorio isn't as bad as I thought he was...

"Fine.. I doubt you'll be able to make it there anyways." It's Gon, he will.

"Kil went home."

"Home?"

"Kukuroo Mountain. Our family lives at the summit."

"Got it, thanks."

"Is it really okay for an assassin to give away his base of operations?~" Oh, we're showing ourselves.

"Sure. It isn't a secret or anything. The locals all know where we live. Well I'm sure they'll realize once they arrive that our worlds are completely different." Yeah, no. Gon will die before giving up. Oh, Is his arm broken?

"Oh, this? Yeah, it's broken. He's an interesting one."

"I wish Gon would hold my hand like that." I say, finally joining the conversation.

"He wasn't holding my hand."

"Mm~ Gon holding my hand like that would be nice~" Hisoka adds. No, stay away from Gon.

"You both have issues." Illumi, I'm pretty sure we know.

"So~ What are you planning on doing now
darling?~"

Word count: 1805

This part of the story ends at some point in Season 1 Episode 21 Some x Brother x Trouble

Fun Facts:

• Bungee gum contains the properties of both rubber and gum you see. (you should've expected this)

• While Y/n and Hisoka were texting all the other applicants heard was "tap tap tap, taptaptap, TAPTAPTAP.

• Y/n is still planning Hanzo's death :)