"Ladies and gentlemen, congratulations on escaping Trick Tower. Only the Fourth Phase and the Final Phase remain. The Fourth Phase will take place over there, on Zevil Island. Let's proceed." The examiner said, snapping his fingers. Material gworl! "I need all of you to draw lots." Oh, when did that box get here?

"Lots? For what?" A salmon haired guy asked.

"To determine who will hunt, and who will be hunted." The examiner responded. "There are twenty-five numbered cards in here. In other words, the numbers correspond to all remaining applicants ID badges. Now, I need you all to draw a card, in the order by which you exited the tower. Will the first person come forward."

Hisoka was first to grab his card, I was second, then Gittarackur, and so on. Until everybody had a card, the fat guy being the last.

"Has everyone gotten a card?" No response. "Alright, go ahead and remove the sticker." Finally, who has badge 82?

"That indicates your target." The examiner informed, causing almost everyone to take off their badge. "This box has recorded which card each of you drew. This means you're free to dispose of the cards if you wish. The objective is to steal your targets ID badge." The examiner explained.

"Oh, so we don't need to kill each other." Someone said.

"Naturally, you're free to use any method you choose to procure the ID badges. That includes killing your target and taking the badge at your leisure. Listen carefully! Your targets ID badge is worth three points. Your own ID is also worth three points. All other ID badges are worth one point. You need six points to advance to the Final Phase. So, while you're on Zevil Island, you must gather enough ID badges to total six points. Any questions?"

Oh well, might as well figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do. I raise my hand, ignoring the confused glance from Hisoka. "Yes?" The examiner asks.

"What happens when you're your own target?" I ask.

"That's unexpected... I guess that would mean you have six points." The examiner replied.

"That's not fair!"

"We have to fight and they just get all the points they need!"

The applicants started complaining, which I understood, having to work hard while someone else just passes would be annoying, so the examiner is probably going to add some plot twist thing in here.

"Hm, I must agree that isn't fair, so your badge will be an automatic six points for everyone." See? "Anyone who has badge number 82 will pass Phase Four of the exam."

"Ha! That makes things easier!"

"I'll just target them instead!

But wouldn't anyone who has badge number 82 immediately become a huge target? Without it you have just one person hunting you, with it you'll have like five.

"Wait! Aren't they Hisoka's lover? We'll die if we attack them!" Oh yeah, people still think we're dating.

"Oh.." The applicants all let out disappointed groans.

"Wait you're dating Hisoka?" Kurapika asks.

"Yeah." I respond.

"You should break up with him." Killua says, sending a glare toward Hisoka.

"Why? You want to date me instead?" I ask, teasing people is fun.

"Of course not! The fact that anyone would date that clown just weirds me out!" Killua says to defends himself.

"Please board the boat to Zevil Island." The examiner said before running off. Weird.

After boarding the boat, I decide to hangout with Gon and Killua. Ignoring the overly annoying guide.

"What number did you draw?" Killua asked Gon. I kinda want to know now...

"What about you?" Gon replied.

"It's a secret." Aw..

"Don't worry you're not my target." Killua added.

"And your not mine either." Gon responded.

"You wanna show each other our numbers at the same time? Except Y/n of course, they obviously got themselves."

"Technically I'm both of your guys targets then." I joke.

"Huh? Don't worry I won't try to steal your badge!" Gon said.

"Yeah.. we can protect you if you want you'll have a lot of people after you." Killua offered, obviously just wanting to fight people.

"Yeah!" Gon agreed.

"No thanks, I'll have Hisoka do that it's fun to mess with him." I respond. The topic of Hisoka seemed to.. worry Gon.

"Oh right, you're dating that clown." Killua added.

"Yeah, anyways have fun. I'll be annoying Hisoka if you need anything." I said, turning away to go find Hisoka.

"Hello darling~" Hisoka greeted.

"Hi, you're kinda stuck with protecting me now." I replied, sitting down.

"And if I don't?~" Hisoka questioned.

"I fail the exam." I respond.

"Fine~" Hisoka agreed, knowing full well that I would fail the exam out of spite.

"Cool. I'm bored." I said. There's nothing to do on this boat.

"Personal problem darling~" Hisoka replied before walking off. Rude.

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
2 (boring) hours later

"We've finally reached Zevil Island! Now, please disembark in the order by which you cleared the Third Phase. You will disembark one at a time, at two-minute intervals. You will stay on the Island for exactly one week. During that time you must collect your six points and return to this location! All right then, the first person may begin!" Damn, Killua and Gon will be here for a while then, sucks to be them.

I swear if that clown makes me find him- he's definitely not going to wait for me, fuck you too then. "Two minutes have passed! The second person may begin." There's no way I'm going to look for Hisoka.

I exit the boat, then lean on a tree near it. I'll just wait for Illumi, it'll be boring by myself.

"Two minutes have passed! The third person may begin." That took forever!

"I'm going to be sticking with you." I inform Gittarackur, now following him.

Timeskip brought to you by: Gon's Fishing Rod!

"You're letting him go?" I ask. It doesn't make sense to let him leave after being servilely injured.

"Hisoka's close by, it's to piss him off." Gittarackur explained, now semi following the man.

"If I continue to avoid your attacks, you'll die eventually~" Hisoka says. Honestly I don't know what I was expecting from him.

"I can tell by the large swarm of Hemotropic Butterflies that your wounds are grave~ Someone has already wounded you~ Right?~ I understand your desire to die fighting as a warrior~" Hisoka is definitely a sadist, but this is kinda fun to watch.

"If you.. If you understand so well, why do you still refuse to fight me!?" Because what's the fun in killing someone who will already die?

"I have no interest in the dead~" Fuck, Am I a sadist?

"What.. I'm not already.." The guys delusional, or an idiot.

"You're already dead~ It's in your eyes~" Hisoka says, before sitting down. Damn must suck to be him, also why is Gon in a bush?

"Bye-Bye~" Hisoka adds. Ooo, is the man trying to get up now! Gittarackur throws a pin at him, killing him before he can attack Hisoka. That man was violated, sucks.

"Sorry, I was careless and he got away." Gittarackur said.

"Liar~ He probably begged you to grant him one final wish, right?~" Hisoka replied. Yes, and it was absolutely hilarious to watch.

"Well, I felt sorry for the guy. Given that he was dead either way." Glitter-Gittarackur replied.

"You should stop pitying enemies who serve no purpose~" Hisoka responded. Baby I'm not even here, I'm a hallucination.

"You've done it before, haven't you? You've walked away from opponents without finishing them off." Gittarackur defended.

"I have standards~ I'm not interested in people who have no purpose~ I only spare those whose deaths would be a waste~" Hisoka replied. God I love this conversation, my favorite part is when they didn't ignore my existence.. oh wait.

"Amazing, I'm bored." I say, apparently not having a target is boring.

"We were having a conversation darling~" Hisoka replied.

"That's amazing, I'm still bored." I respond, there's nothing to do on this fucking island. "Why are you digging a hole?" I ask Illumi, who was now out of disguise.

"To sleep." Illumi replied simply.

"Oo cool, can you dig me one?" I ask, sleeping underground sounds fun!

"Yes." Illumi quickly responds, immediately digging another hole.

"Would you be able to breath?~" Hisoka questions. I don't know, and I don't care.

"They will." Illumi responds, now finished with the hole. I jump down into it, I'm not over exaggerating when I say that was the best fucking sleep I've ever had.

Timeskip brought to you by: Illumi the Groundhog

"Wake up." Illumi says.

"Whyyyy." I complain, just a few more years please!

"The Phase ended, I'll drag you if I have to." Illumi threatens, causing me to get up.

"Best sleep I've ever had.." I mumbled, now following Ill-Gittarackur to the starting point.

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
About an hour later

"Alright! Times up, please hold out your badges so I can check your points!" The guide says, in her overly cheerful tone. Gon must be like the God of late entrances.

I hold out my badge, honestly this phase was way to easy..

Word count: 1640

This part of the story ends at some point in Season 1 Episode 18 Big x Time x Interview

Fun Facts:

• I personally believe that Illumi has always wanted to share his hobby of being a groundhog, but none of his siblings wanted to. Which is why Illumi was excited when you wanted to become a groundhog as well!

• I basically skipped over the fourth phase entirely! Why? Because I can, and also plot was moving really slow-

• Hisoka was targeting bloodlust at Lippo (the examiner) the entire time he was explaining.
A. Because he almost killed you. B. It was hilarious.