Quick reminder:

Mother- Machi

Mom- Pakunoda

Dad- Chrollo

Gay- Phinks

Hole puncher- Franklin

Everyone else's usernames are their actual names

Hot people
(Phantom troupe groupchat)

Cool kid is now online
5 people are now online

Shalnark
Finally!

Mom
Why weren't you texting?! It's been a
day!

Dad
Where were you?

Cool kid
I got grounded 🥲

Shalnark
L-

Mother
Another reason to kill your mom.

Cool kid
No-

Dad
No murdering their mom

Cool kid
Thank you-

Dad
For now

Cool kid
And I spoke to soon-

Hisoka
Hm~ out of curiosity who will adopt
Y/n when their mom dies?~

Cool kid
I love how it's 'when' and not 'if' my
mom dies-

Shalnark
She's not immortal so-

Cool kid
I feel like you guys are going to kill her
tho-

Hisoka
They are~

Mother
😒

Mom
😒

Cool kid
L Hisoka

Hisoka
💧-_-⭐️

Cool kid
Lol-

Cool kid
Anywhore-

Mom
What dumb shit is it now😑

Cool kid
Why is it that whenever I take a sip of the alcohol People call me the alcoholic

Mother
You what!?

Mom
At this point I'm not even surprised

Cool kid
But when I drink whole bottle of the
Fanta nobody calls me the fantastic?

Shalnark
No, no they have a point-

Dad
Seriously 😐

Cool kid
I'm just saying-

Mother
I'm not mad, just disappointed.

Cool kid
Spoken like a true mom 😩

Shalnark
Not the emoji-

Dad
You're an idiot 😑

Cool kid
L- I revoke your adoption privileges
then-

Dad
You're gonna be an orphan then

Cool kid
There's still Machi and Pakunoda-

Dad
I revoke their adoption privileges

Mother
🥲

Mom
🥲

Shalnark
This is interesting-

Cool kid
Does everyone just listen to you- are
you the boss or smthn?

Dad
Yes I'm their boss

Cool kid
So Hisoka- would you rather adopt me
and get fired or keep your job-

Shalnark
I like how I wasn't even mentioned-
I'm such a last resort that Hisoka was
thought of as a better option-

Cool kid
L- your the cool gay cousin-

Shalnark
I thought phinks was the gay one-

Cool kid
Emphasis on cool-

Shalnark
Ohhhhh

Hisoka
I'll adopt you~

Shalnark
No.

Mother
I would never let that happen.

Mom
No. Absolutely not.

Chrollo
I will kill you.

Cool kid
So theoretically speaking if I were to get adopted by Hisoka how annoyed would
y'all be- completely theoretical :)

Shalnark
That smiley face says otherwise but on
a scale of 1-10 I'd go with infinity

Mother
Agreed

Mom
^

Dad
^

Cool kid
Good to know-

Hisoka
Very good to know~

Mother
If you two team up again I swear-

Cool kid
What ya gonna do? Ground me?

Shalnark
R.I.P Y/n

Shalnark
Everyone will miss you 💔😔🤧😭

Cool kid
The emojis-😂🤣🤣🤣

Mother
I'm not gonna kill Y/n, I'll just kill their
mom

Cool kid
Mk-

Shalnark
I love how u have 0 fucks-

Cool kid
Yeah I'm #quirky
#notlikeothergirls/boys

Shalnark
Slayyyyyy 🤪🥰😍😍😫😩😩😫

Dad
Should I be concerned?

Shalnark
No 😩

Cool kid
Nah 😏😉😘😩😫

Mom
Yes you definitely should-

Mother
I swear- you two need therapy

Cool kid
No thanks-

Dad
Not a question.

Cool kid
You too-

Hisoka
Hm~ it seems everyone thinks you need therapy~

Mother
Shut up.

Mom
Everyone does.

Cool kid
Wait everyone? Are you betraying
me?? 🥺😢😭

Hisoka
Yes~

Cool kid
I'm breaking up with u 💔🖤

Shalnark
Wait what-

Hisoka
I'll buy you food~

Cool kid has deleted one message

Cool kid
I never said anything-

Mother
What

Mom
The

Shalnark
Actual

Dad
Fuck

Cool kid
What???

Hisoka
Hm~ I don't think they like the idea of us
dating much~

Cool kid
Y? Best sex I've ever had

Chrollo
Hisoka I am going to kill you

Cool kid
I'm just imagining him saying that in
the calmest way possible-

Mother
You're grounded Y/n.

Hisoka
You're not allowed to think about
other men~ do I need to teach you a
lesson darling?~

Shalnark
Lay a fucking hand on them and I will
kill you-

Cool kid
Yes 😩

Mom
We were just talking about Hisoka
adopting Y/n-

Chrollo
I'm about to start killing-

Hisoka
Darling~ open the door~

Chrollo
If you lay a finger on Y/n I will kill
you.

Mother
I'll fucking help.

Mom
Y/n don't allow Hisoka to touch you.

Shalnark
Where the hell are you Hisoka?

Cool kid
We should stop-

Hisoka
Alright~

Shalnark
Is this another fucking team up-

Cool kid
✨Yuh✨

Mother
Y/n you're grounded. Also never let
Hisoka touch you.

Mom
At least they aren't actually fucking.

Cool kid
...

Dad
Y/n?

Shalnark
I swear to fucking god-

Cool kid
Sorry- we haven't fucked-

Mother
And you won't.

Cool kid
To be fair your actions were hilarious-

Dad
You're going to be the death of me

Shalnark
On the bright side- they aren't dating-

Cool kid
Yet

Mother
Y/n, politely shut the fuck up.

Hisoka
The offer still stands~

Cool kid
You have to win my heart first 😩😍😘

Chrollo
What offer?

Shalnark
Did Hisoka ask you out???

Mom
We can kill him for you!

Mother
We will kill him for you!*

Hisoka
Alright darling~

Cool kid
He offered to date me- so yes- and no
don't kill him- I want to see if he could
actually win my heart-

Hisoka
Oh?~ I definitely could~

Cool kid
Proof? 🧐

Hisoka
Don't blame me when your heart
breaks~

Chrollo
You aren't allowed to hit on
my child.

Mother
You aren't allowed to hit on
my child.

Cool kid
Your child??? 🤨🧐🧐

Shalnark
Oh shit- they're about to fight-

Cool kid
Thought there was a rule against
fighting-

Hisoka
There is~

Cool kid
I could just choose who adopts me
tho??

Dad
It's obviously me

Mother
You're delusional it's obviously me

Cool kid
Technically it's Shalnark, but seeing
how he doesn't seem to want the title
of my parent-

Cool kid
I'll just be analyzing who's the best
parent from here on out-

Shalnark
Ima be the ✨Gay Cousin✨

Cool kid
Yuh

Mom
😐

Dad
I'll win easily.

Mother
I will*

Cool kid
✨Chaos✨

Cool kid
Currently we have 3 contestants tho-

Cool kid
Machi, Paku, and Chrollo

Dad
I'll easily win

Hisoka
I want to compete in this~

Cool kid
And Hisoka then-

Mother
I don't care because there is a 0%
chance of you winning this

Hisoka
We'll see~

Mom
So how are we gonna be scored-

Cool kid
On a scale of 1-10 you'll start at 5 if you
get to 0 you lose, if you get to 10 you
win-

Shalnark
This is gonna be interesting-

Cool kid
Ikr 😩😫

Mother
😑

Hisoka
The first person to actually
meet you has the highest chance of
winning~

Dad
Nobody's allowed to try and go find
Y/n

Cool kid
L-

Cool kid
I'm boreddd-

Mom
Every day-

Cool kid
✨Yuh✨

Mom
Why do I even want to adopt you-

Cool kid
I can move your score to 0 then

Mom
No.

Dad
Yes.

Mother
Yes. Also move Hisoka's.

Cool kid
Lol-

Cool kid
I love how Hisoka was the only one to
not comment on that-

Shalnark
What am I a roach?

Cool kid
I meant out of possible parents- but you
look like a roach

Shalnark
Ouch 💔

Hisoka
The more competitors the better~

Cool kid
Fair-

Shalnark
They're all about to murder each
other-

Cool kid
Damn- I should probably give Hisoka
a point then-

Mother
No.

Dad
No.

Mom
No.

Cool kid
Lol-

Hisoka
It would annoy them~

Cool kid
True- but you didn't really earn it-

Mother
Ha!

Hisoka
Fair~

Cool kid
Soo- what are y'all doing?

Shalnark
Literally nothing-

Shalnark
Hbu?

Cool kid
I'm at the park

Mom
There's no creepy old men right?

Cool kid
Only one-

Mother
Park name. Now.

Chrollo
We're not going over there yet

Cool kid
The yet is concerning-

Shalnark
He's not near you right!?

Cool kid
There's a creepy old man fishing in
the park and the only problem is

Mom
Problem!?

Shalnark
What's he doing!?

Mother
Explain. Now.

Cool kid
He tied a candy bar to the end of his
line he's trying to catch a kid-

Shalnark
That's very dangerous but I can't stop laughing- help-

Cool kid
✨No✨

Mother
It's 11 pm!?

Mom
Why are you at the park!?

Cool kid
✨Cuz I can✨

Chrollo
Leave the park. Now.

Cool kid
Okay 😭

Hisoka
It's for your safety~

Cool kid
I don't care about my safety tho-

Mother
You should.

Mom
I recommend counseling.

Cool kid
No ❤️

Shalnark
Have you left the park?

Cool kid
Not yet-

Mother
Then do that

Cool kid
Chill- I'm going-

Mom
Then leave faster.

Cool kid
But the old man isn't even following
me-

Shalnark
Yet.

Cool kid
😐

Cool kid
I'll be fine- y'all need to chill

Mom
Have you left the park yet?

Cool kid
Yes 🙄

Mother
Is he following you?

Cool kid
Nope

Shalnark
Good. Now go home.

Cool kid
Okay okay 🙄

Dad
Inform us when you're home.

Cool kid
Alright geez-

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
A few minutes later

Cool kid
I'm home- happy?

Mother
Very. Now lock the doors and go to
bed.

Cool kid
Alright fine-

Mother
Good.

Cool kid is now offline
5 people are now offline

Word count: 1638

Fun Facts:

• Y/n completely forgot about the Troupe not knowing the joke with them and Hisoka dating! Hisoka, knowing this, informed you while still not letting the rest of the Troupe know!

• A reminder that Y/n is at the Hunter exam, thus not at the park! Y/n just wanted to mess with the Troupe! You did miss a whole day of messing with them after all!

• Y/n is actually analyzing the best parent! Y/n is quite aware that it's more likely than not that she'll end up getting adopted by one of them at some point! Plus ✨chaos✨