Jolie blinked down at her phone, her fork halfway to her mouth, covered in chocolate cake. She set it down and typed back, Jesus, your life is just as depressing as mine.

As she finally took her bite, two texts buzzed in quick succession.

Tweedledick: I don't know why I told you that.

Tweedledick: Sorry.

Jolie shrugged as she chewed the dark chocolatey goodness, rolling it around in her mouth. It's easy telling a stranger all of your problems, she sent back. And it was. She didn't know this guy—this doctor—and he didn't know her. She had nobody to talk to about her marital woes in real life, her only real friend being her husband's sister. It's not like this stranger could bring the information back to anyone she knew. He didn't even know her name.

Tweedledick: Do you have kids?

She barked a laugh through a mouthful of cake, spitting dark crumbs all over the white tablecloth. A woman at a table nearby wrinkled her nose, and Jolie stuck her tongue out, still covered in chocolate. The woman visibly gagged and turned back to her date, and Jolie couldn't help the thrill that went up her spine at having disgusted her.

Fuck you and your date, staring at my pathetic ass all by myself on Valentine's Day, she thought, and wiped her lips with her napkin before switching her phone to her right hand. God no, she texted back, I'd be a terrible mom!

Tweedledick: You can't know that.

Jolie rolled her eyes and ran a finger through the thick icing on her plate and popped it in her mouth. I can't take care of my husband, how could I take care of a fucking kid?

She chugged the rest of her white wine and caught the waiter's eye before raising and wiggling her now-empty glass.

Tweedledick: I've heard that kids are easier than husbands.

Jolie grinned stupidly at her phone, the alcohol finally doing its job of dulling the ever-present ache in her chest. The waiter appeared with a fresh bottle and began to pour. When he stopped at halfway, she shook her head.

"Fill that sucker up," she instructed. "Save yourself the extra trips."

He stared down his nose at her, but responded in a polite customer service tone. "Very good, ma'am."

She scoffed under her breath at the title, but he had already disappeared. LOL you're probably right, she sent back to the doctor. You got kids? While she waited for his response, she changed the name on his contact.

Dr. Tweedledick: Yeah

Of course he had kids. He was a doctor. He probably had a big, beautiful mansion, with a gorgeous wife and three straight-A student kids and a Golden Retriever. Maybe they even had a nanny or a maid or whatever that helped the kids with their homework while daddy worked his fancy-pants hospital job and mommy was out fucking her mistress.

Instead of being an outward bitch, she sent, Do you like it? and finished off her cake while she waited. The woman she'd distracted at the table nearby leapt up from her seat with an excited squeal.

"Ugh, perfect," Jolie muttered, taking another deep gulp of wine as the woman extended her hand to her date, now on one knee before her. He slid a ring on her finger with a rock so huge that Jolie had to squint against the blinding sparkle.

There was a smattering of applause as the young couple embraced and kissed. He dipped her back over his arm with a flourish, and it was Jolie's turn to wrinkle her nose with disgust. She couldn't pinpoint when in her life other people's happiness began to make her stomach sour, but it was for sure a thing now.

Dr. Tweedledick: I like being a father better than being a doctor.

Jolie snickered, eyeing the now-weeping woman flashing her hand around to show off her ring. She quickly typed, And husband? and stared at her own rings in distaste. She knew she shouldn't judge someone else for their choice of gaudy jewellery, considering the amount of intricate diamonds on both her engagement ring and wedding band.

John had designed them himself. The damn romantic he'd been, back then.

Dr. Tweedledick: I've heard being a doctor is easier than being a husband.

She snorted. Lol heard huh? No personal experience there? She drowned the pang of guilt from the jab in another few gulps of wine, and scraped the last of the chocolate icing remnants from her plate.

Dr. Tweedledick: You sure laugh a lot for somebody so depressed.

Ouch, Jolie thought, but she couldn't deny he was right. Plus, she deserved a comment like that after her own stab at his weakness. It almost felt good to be mean, and have somebody be mean back. She never got to see John enough to bitch at him for not seeing him enough, and she doubted he'd even put up a fight. He probably didn't care enough.

You sure don't laugh enough for a doctor who's married with kids, she sent back, giving up on her scraping with the fork and resorting to using her finger to clean the plate of chocolate instead.

Dr. Tweedledick: Lol

She rolled her eyes and sent back a tongue-face emoji. I'm not actually laughing when I say that, it's just an expression. She hit send, then quickly added, Anyway, shouldn't you be like doctoring people?

She licked her finger, the plate finally cleaned completely of cake, and immediately wished she had another piece. She took another gulp of wine instead.

Dr. Tweedledick: I'm on dinner break. It's slow right now anyway, but it'll pick up this evening once everyone's Valentine's Day gifts go haywire.

Jolie raised an eyebrow, and sent back Vday is a busy night for doctors?

Dr. Tweedledick: I'm sure I'll be pulling more than one foreign object out of an ass tonight.

She choked on her mouthful of wine, somehow managing to bark a laugh and snort the cold liquid through her nose at the same time.

Dr. Tweedledick: That was inappropriate. Sorry.

Dr. Tweedledick: Really, sorry.

Jolie wiped her face with her napkin, giggling like a little kid. As she wiped her phone screen free of droplets, she noticed the newly-engaged woman glaring at her again.

"What?" Jolie drawled, rolling her eyes again. "If you're going to have a happy marriage, learn how to laugh, for fuck sakes." I'm one to talk, she thought, and ignored the woman's huff of indignation to pick up her phone again.

LMFAO, no apologies, Dr. Foreign Object, she sent back. PS I actually did laugh that time. Spit wine everywhere. Offended some people.

Dr. Tweedledick: Well, there's that at least.

Jolie chugged down the rest of her glass and sent, I'm not your patient, you can talk about asses with me. She got up from her seat and slipped her coat back on, wavering slightly from all the alcohol.

"Anything else for you, ma'am?" the waiter asked, appearing out of nowhere.

She startled, whipping around to face him and nearly falling ass over teakettle. "Jesus, no." She calmed her racing heart and fumbled with the buttons on her coat.

"No coffee?" he offered, and she glared at him.

"No, thank you," she said through gritted teeth, offering him more of a sneer than a smile. "Thank you for the exemplary service. Add a hundred bucks on top of whatever your tip is on the bill." She waved a hand at him, and he blinked, his face a mask of shock as he bowed slightly.

"Thank you, ma'am," he said, and backed away.

Jolie's phone buzzed and she looked down at it on the table as she slipped her purse over her arm.

Dr. Tweedledick: I don't even know your name or your age. I should most certainly NOT be talking about asses with you.

She picked up her phone and quickly shot back, So it's okay to talk about your cheating wife but not asses?

Dr. Tweedledick: I shouldn't have been talking about that, either.

Dr. Tweedledick: My break is up.

Jolie sighed as she headed for the door, and before calling a cab, sent back, Thanks for keeping me company for dinner, doc.