// aaaaaaaa this chapter includes a lot of self hatred and uh killing people, and some scenes in this chapter might think wow are u sure this story isn't bakudeku SLAM THIS STORY IS TODODEKU, no BakuDeku they're really just mushy towards each other lmao

He smiled at him at him before he fell asleep completely

Honestly, you don't need to take too many nights just to completely record anyone's sleeping habit, when he tried it with Katsuki he didn't even need 3 days before it gets repetitive and soon he has no reason to watch over him anymore aside from when he just gets the instinct to protect him or something, if Katsuki knew the amount of times he ended someone's life for him he'd be shocked, and then he'd get angry and scold him for underestimating him, he can't help but to spoil and pamper his beloved childhood friend though, he takes satisfaction unto seeing Katsuki march unto a bright future, the blood that comes with helping him is just an extra bonus

To be honest he didn't know why he kept texting this stalker of his, if anyone were to stalk him he'd laugh before lunging them at the throat, it had always been that way, being the son of Hizashi Midoriya made him realize this the hard way, being the son of Midoriya Inko was worse, the amount of people that came after them was ridiculous but it was fun, carving up bodies and sending them to their families or back to their 'families', laughing at their reactions has been his and his mothers favorite bonding time

Maybe it was because he was rich? Maybe because he was a huge dork? A huge dork that hides behind a cold exterior, a handsome arrogant face that's put up to hide the cuteness underneath just like Katsuki, he loves Katsuki so maybe that's why he loves Shoto too, he just feels so happy whenever he breaks down that cold barrier in between them, Shoto wasn't as cold as Katsuki, it didn't take much to notice that the half red head and albino liked him on some degree, Katsuki outright hated them when they were little but through enough pestering he got through

He doesn't know why it's so fun to mess with Shoto though, he doesn't know why he's inlove with him, he'd understand if he was inlove with Katsuki, Katsuki by all means was his type, he loves him but he's not inlove with him, it's like he'd put Katsuki in a pedestal so high up that what he's doing is worshipping him, not loving, Shoto was different though, he started as a stalker which Izuku despised, Shoto was rich, he can get away with anything and yes he have gotten away with everything

Izuku knows the smell of rotten flesh and blood no matter how old it is and no matter how faint it is, and his mansion reeked of it

Maybe that's why? He sees Shoto on the same level as him, or perhaps lower, they both were the same, they were both horrible but they can keep getting away with things like this, but Katsuki was too high out of his reach, he was too talented, too good, a good for nothing murderer and a piece of garbage like Midoriya Izuku doesn't deserve him, Izuku deserved to be burned like garbage, to be hulled like just a pebble on the side walk, the only thing he's good for is for killing people, he's a piece of garbage meant to be burnt

He doesn't understand how anyone could see the scars on his body as something good, he remembers the first time Shoto saw his body, he was bathing at the time and his robot came in and videoed him before telling him how good he looked, he doesn't understand how a body littered with scars was considered good looking, if anything he'd mutilate it more and see if it'll look better that way, Katsuki caught him once and got so angry he cried, then he made him promise never to do it again, the one time Izuku would never break a promise if it is a promise made together with Katsuki, it was too precious to be set aside and broken like garbage, they were 14 at the time and Katsuki blamed himself

Katsuki somehow got his mom to buy a lot of weird lotions and moisturisers that can help with scars, they aren't as bad as they were before, they're very very faint but it still disgusts him, that was when he first started putting Katsuki at a pedestal too, he made him realize that Izuku was worth something, worth wasting his precious time on him even though he's a piece of trash, he made him realize that there are people worth killing for aside for yourself in this world, that it isn't just black and white and it isn't just kill or be killed, Katsuki was never killed and he made sure that there never will be a situation where he'd need to, he doesn't need a dirty stain on Katsuki's clear record just because some fuckass decides he needs some money, he doesn't care about the shitstains family, anyone that slightly even thinks of hurting Katsuki deserves to die

"You seem to be deep in thought" his eyes looked over to Shoto, looking at him with an unreadable stoic face as always, he smiles at him genuinely

"I didn't know you cared" he tilted his head, the smile still on his face

"I'm curious about you, won't you indulge me just this once?" Izuku hummed and nodded

"Okay ask away, I'll try to be as truthful as I can, just one question though because you've been letting me watch you sleep" Shoto stared up at the ceiling and looked everywhere before finally looking back at him

"You... are you okay?" Izuku stared at him curiously, he wasn't expecting that at all

I mean Shoto could've asked any other question than that, like what's up with the ghost radar, what's up with his weird demeanor, why can't he remember Izuku

"What do you mean Shoucchan?"

"Drop the act already, there's something clearly wrong with you the moment you stepped into this mansion, are you okay?"

"You could've asked me anything else and you've chosen to ask that, why?"

"I.. I worry for you for you" Izuku tilted his head, confused

"I don't know what you are Izuku, I don't have a clue of what's going inside your mind, Katsuki who's your best friend for years doesn't know what's going inside your mind, you've always been so different from everyone else I've met, I'm worried about you because I don't know if you're hurting or not, you're a blank state, you're a shell, you always hide behind smiles and pouts and only gets angry if you want something to go your way, I don't have a way of knowing if you're hurting or not because you're always hiding, that's why I'm asking you right now, are you okay?" He said in his usual stoic face yet it seemed so distanced, Izuku frowned

"You don't have to worry about me... I'll tell you when I'm not"

"Is that true though?" Izuku frowned even more

"Did Kacchan make you do this?" Shoto shook his head

"I want to get closer to you Izuku, I want to know more about you, I want to know what you want, what you hate, I want to learn everything about you, yet I don't even know how you feel like in this moment, I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall who throws out the same repetitive responses every now and then, I don't want to feel this way towards you, you're much more than that" Izuku sighed

"Okay.. I'll answer your question, truthfully, I feel... I feel happy with you"

"With me?"

"Whenever I'm with Katsuki, I always feel like garbage compared to him, he's so bright and so high up there, he deserves everything, I deserve nothing"

"That doesn't explain why you're happy with me" he gave Shoto a knowing smile

"Because were both pieces of garbage that gets away with everything" Shoto looked at him curiously

"How did you know?" Izuku hummed

"I know the smell of rotting blood and flesh, Katsuki is used to it just by being around me, he doesn't know the difference and thinks nothing is wrong with your house, I don't care what you do though as long as you don't involve Kacchan"

"Why Katsuki? You've always been obsessed with him, the first time I threatened him you were willing to kill me just for saying that you know"

"Katsuki doesn't deserve anything bad in his life, he deserves a happy future"

"What made you think that?" Izuku stared at him

"You're asking a lot of questions"

"You did say you'd indulge me, I'm just trying to get as much as I can now"

"Are you? I remember only letting you ask one question" Izuku smiled, Shoto's eyes widened before he laid limp, falling asleep again it's okay Izuku is only letting him remember the first question, any other details aside from that will be forgotten , he's fair, he's not completely changing Shoto's memory so it should be fine, he stood up from his chair and left the room, closing it as quietly as possible before knocking into Katsuki's room, soon enough he hears a groan and Katsuki opened the door, he smiled before hugging him tightly, Katsuki just groaned even more

"You're late today, you made me wait" he said his eyebrows furrowed

"Sorry, Shoto kept asking random questions it took a long time for him to fall asleep again"

"Hmm... Whatever let's go to sleep, you might get shorter if you stay up later than this" Izuku pouted and closed the door behind him before plopping into Katsuki's bed and giggling

"Your bed is always so neat and soft Kacchan!" Katsuki grinned

"No shit, and you just ruined how neat it is, congratulations Izuku!"

"Thank you Kacchan!" Katsuki looked at him weirdly before sighing and sitting on the bed, Izuku immediately sat next to him, Katsuki looked at him before pulling him into his lap and hugging him tightly

"You stressed Kacchan?" Izuku asked as he heard was a huff and him getting hugged tighter, after awhile he heard another sigh as Katsuki's hold on him became loose

"It's because of you nerd, the shit you did this week is fuckin stressful" Izuku chuckled and hugged him back

"You still love me right Kacchan?"

"Whatever fuckface, let's go to sleep already" Izuku nodded and got off Katsuki before laying down next to him instead, he stared at him giddily though instead of sleeping

"What do you want? I said to sleep not to have a fuckin staring contest with you" Katsuki said now staring back at him

"My mom isn't here, give me a forehead kiss Kacchan" the blond sputtered and turned red

"Why the fuck would you need that?! You got through the last couple of years without one!"

"I was holding it in! Please Kacchan? I won't ask again- atleast for another couple years"

"Do you still really need forehead kisses? You live alone"

"But you visit all the time it gets lonely when you don't"

"We live on the same mansion now fucker"

"That doesn't mean I still can't miss you, please Kacchan?" Katsuki grumbled before placing a quick kiss on his forehead and turning away, Izuku smiled and hugged him from the back

"What the shit are you doing?!"

"Spooning! You're always the big spoon but today I am!" The blonde snorted

"Yeah sure, I'm still taller than you, turn around"

"No! I wanna be the big spoon today!"

"Big spoons are meant to protect the little spoon, what the shit are you gonna protect me from? Little kids?" Izuku pouted and stopped hugging Kacchan and he turned away, after awhile he felt Katsuki hugging him close and he almost sighed at how warm and comfy he is, he almost have forgotten why Katsuki was always the big spoon, he was a mini heater

"See? It's better this way" Izuku sleepily nodded

"Good night Kacchan"

"Go to sleep, nerd"