~SWEARING AND KISSING, READ AT OWN RISK!!~

It was a normal day for The Bad Guy Gang. Horror was watching Drag Race with Susie. Nightmare and Cross were...gone. Possibly on a date somewhere romantic. Killer and Dust were playing video games in Dust's room, but Horror had a feeling it wasn't just that. Error was sitting on the couch knitting another puppet. 

Horror sighed. Of course, it wasn't as if he didn't like hanging out with his friends. He just wanted to be with someone...who didn't just like him as friends. Nightmare had Cross, and Dust had Killer...

And they seemed so happy. 

Even Error and Susie, even if they didn't see their lovers as often they seemed so much better when they were around. 

Horror was the only one who had no one. 

"Uh...I just got a text from Ink. Gonna head over to his place. Bye." Error said, looking at his phone. A ding sounded from it and Error smiled to himself. He opened a portal and walked out of the castle. 

Susie looked over at Horror. Another reason to wish for a partner, Horror thought.

"Hey, you mind if you could open a portal for me? Error reminded me of Noelle and I haven't seen her in a while..." Susie asked.

Horror laughed to himself.

"Yeah, of course. " Horror responded, opening a portal for Susie. 

"Don't burn the house down!" Susie called as she walked away.

"Get me uh...in a few days?" Susie said as the portal closed, leaving Horror alone.

Horror turned off the television and sat in silence. 

"Ugh...I need a drink."

~~~

After a few...a lot of bottles later, Horror was on top of the table. He was very drunk. 

"H-*hic*-HEY!" Horror cried. His ax was leaning against the wall. 

"MISTER! *hic* ARE YA FEELIN L-LONELY!?" Horror asked the lifeless ax. 

"..." The ax responded lustfully. It seems it has already had a few drinks itself. 

Horror hopped down from the table, landing on his skull. He got up as if nothing happened, he couldn't afford for his new love to think poorly of him.

Horror walked to the ax smoothly. Or, tried to. Due to his drunken state, he more of waddled over clumsily. Horror put his arm on the wall and gazed at the ax.

"So, come *hic* here often...?" Asked Horror.

"..." The ax responded. Horror laughed quietly. 

"Well, I can show you around this place if you'd like. But there is one place...I'd think you'd really enjoy..." Horror offered. 

He leaned in closely, gazing into the axes eyes. (Eyes???) 

Horror wrapped his arm around it's wooden handle. The blood stains on the axes shiny metal gleamed a brighter red. 

Then, Horror kissed it. He kissed the ax passionately. Both arms pulled it closer to Horror's teeth. 

"..." The ax whispered. 

Horror pulled away, smiling softly through his bleeding teeth. Even though it hurt, the alcohol numbed the cut. Blood dripped from his teeth.

"Ax...I...I!!" 

Horror barfed on the ax, covering the blood stains with puke. He then passed out in the barf. The ax fell from it's grip, obviously overwhelmed by Horror's completely true totally ligit feelings. 

Just missing his head, the ax sliced the floorboard and slept by Horror's side. 

Horror smiled in his sleep. 

~~THE NEXT MORNING~~

Error: *walks in through a portal*

Error: ...

Error: WHAT THE F*CK?!

Error: WHAT THE F*CK?!

Horror: *looks up* w-what? Who?

Error: F*CK THIS-

Error: *opens a portal and leaps through*

holy sh*t that was so f*cking stupid...

I...

I can't even....

god f*ck me