J U N E 1 9 7 6

.・。.・゜✭・.・✧・゜・。.

LILY HAD MOSTLY calmed down from the stress and nerves of her O.W.L.s by the end of the term. Although she would still occasionally ruminate on things that had happened in the practical portion of her exams. Like how she nearly forgot to stir her potion three times counter clockwise and Merlin forbid the grade she would receive if that had happened.

Clara had made a firm rule to Lily that morning at breakfast that there was to be absolutely no talk of any exams on the train ride home. What happened at Hogwarts, stayed at Hogwarts. And though Lily had the urge to discuss her thoughts on other portions of the exam, she bit her tongue to keep her friend happy.

Luckily she, Marlene, and Clara were early enough to the train to snag a compartment to themselves. Thankfully they weren't held back too long by Marlene's horrible habit of sleeping in. Clara had clearly nagged her enough to make sure she was completely packed the night before so even if she had slept through breakfast (which she unsurprisingly did) at least she wouldn't be too late to the train.

"I think this is the first trip back we haven't had to sit with any random second or third years on the way home." Marlene quipped as they entered their compartment.

"Do you think I should lock the door so no one can open it to ask if there's any space to join us?" Clara joked.

"That would be rude." Lily frowned.

"Awe, you're the best of us, Lil. Truly." Marlene smirked.

Students filed through the train one by one, occasionally glancing into the girls' compartment to see if there was any extra room. Though she wasn't doing it intentionally, Clara frowned at anyone whose eyes lingered a little too long on their compartment for her liking.

The sharp features she had inherited from her mother made her face naturally a little bit more stern and uninviting. It was a fact she used to detest, but found increasingly useful as she got older. She liked being taken more seriously, and while her unruly wavy black hair and hazel eyes gave her away as a Potter, her demeanour made her stand out as an individual compared to her wild younger brother.

When people heard the name 'Potter' they had to hold their breath waiting to see which one was being referred to.

Was it the fun, yet chaotic younger boy? Who was kind and trustworthy, brave and chivalrous. A true Gryffindor, a true menace, and a true honest-to-goodness friend.

Or was it the intelligent, yet serious older girl? Who was studious and honest, ambitious and protective. An enigma to house stereotypes, the spitting image of Euphemia, and a true honest-to-goodness fighter for what she believed in.

Eventually fewer students started walking by and the whistle of the train indicated it was nearly time to depart. Clara let out a sigh of relief as she felt the jolt of the train beginning its departure from Hogsmeade station. She relaxed into her seat next to Marlene and gazed out the window, watching the castle shrink in the distance. But the sudden sound of the blonde witch's stomach rumbling filled the compartment causing the three girls to burst into laughter.

"That's what you get for sleeping through breakfast again." Clara teased as she nudged Marlene's shoulder.

Marlene rolled her eyes before responding, "I just hope the snack trolley comes by soon."

"Oh Merlin, that reminds me, mum sent me some money in her last owl. I was supposed to split it with James for the ride home. He'll kill me if he can't get any Droobles." Clara explained as she began quickly digging through her satchel, searching for the small velvet sack of coins.

Once she had retrieved James's portion of their allowance, she shoved the coins into the pocket of her jeans and stood up to exit the compartment. Before leaving she glanced back at the girls, "I'll be back soon, and I'll try my best not to bring James back with me Lil."

"Don't worry, I need to go to the prefect carriage soon anyway." Lily assured the girl.

With a nod, Clara left the girls and made her way through the carriages, glancing into each compartment she passed looking for any sign of the Marauders. If she could find just one of them, she knew James wouldn't ever be too far away.

But she was stopped in her tracks when she heard the muffled sounds of what seemed to be a heated argument coming from up ahead.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she gave up on the search for her brother and slowly approached the area where the bickering seemed to be originating from. The shades of the compartment in question were all pulled down, blocking her view of the situation inside. However, in the heat of whatever disagreement was going on, whoever was inside had neglected to put a silencing charm on the door. As she quietly inched closer to the compartment, she heard the unmistakable sound of Sirius' voice coming from the other side.

"You're a damn fool, Reg. An absolute idiot if you think that is going to somehow bring 'honour' to our family."

The younger Black scoffed, "I have more honour in my left foot than you do in your entire body, Sirius. You're the one disgracing the Black family name."

"Oh please," Sirius replied with disdain, "Our family is a joke. How you can't see that is beyond me."

"There's a reason mum and dad hate you."

"I'd rather be hated than be a puppet with no thoughts of my own."

"Shut up!"

The girl was taken aback by how much rage was coming from both boys who always seemed so put together. Neither ever caused a scene like this in public. Regulus was the shining example of prim, proper, and respectable behavior, while Sirius always seemed cool and level-headed. The elder of the two always had a sly smirk on his face and rarely seemed phased by anything.

Clara couldn't explain what compelled her to reach for the handle. She should have just ignored it and kept looking for James. But she had an anxious feeling growing inside her that made her believe things would escalate to an explosive level if no one stepped in to stop it. To her shock, neither of the boys thought to lock the door, so it slid open with ease.

Sirius had his back to the door, but Clara met Regulus' gaze immediately. For only a split second she saw pain in his dark grey eyes before it shifted to a look of cold hatred. It was an expression reserved solely for Clara as his eyes bore into her soul. It was a look she knew she had rightfully earned for interrupting the brothers' private discussion.

Sirius quickly whipped around and gave Clara a very similar expression upon realizing who had walked in on them. Their family resemblance was rather uncanny as both boys glared at her.

"I'm sorry, I heard-" she stammered.

"Heard what? Things that aren't any of your business?" Sirius spat as he cut her off mid-sentence.

Though the two had always bickered, she had never heard such anger in Sirius' voice and certainty never directed at her.

Clara shook her head and spoke in a voice much smaller than she had intended, "I recognized your voice, I was worried."

She swore for a second his dark eyes softened a bit, but it didn't last long as he brought his focus back to why he was in that particular compartment in the first place. Sirius then snapped his head back to his younger brother.

"Leave." he said flatly.

"Gladly." Regulus replied as he rolled his eyes before making his way out the door, deliberately bumping Clara's shoulder on the way out.

Sirius ran his hands through his long dark hair and plopped down in the seat looking quite defeated.

Deep down Clara knew that Sirius would rather be alone in this moment. If he did want anyone there to comfort him, she would have most definitely been towards the bottom of the list. But she had never seen him like this before. In five years of knowing him, she never saw one single second of vulnerability come from him. It would be heartless to leave him alone in this state.
Clara reached behind her and slowly slid the compartment door closed to give the two of them some privacy before quietly making her way to sit across from Sirius, her eyes trained on him as he continued to ignore her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

He brought his head up from his hands. As his eyes met hers, his face fell into a scowl almost immediately, "With you? Not particularly."

"I know you're upset but-"

"You don't know anything about me." he replied coldly.

"I do know you care about your brother."

The expression on Sirius' face let her know that it was a mistake for Clara to bring up Regulus. What she believed he may think or feel about his younger brother truly wasn't any of her business. Whether she was right or not, it was obviously a touchy subject.

Clara and Sirius' relationship certainly wasn't close, they weren't anywhere near the level of sharing secrets and confiding their worries and fears in one another. But what bothered Sirius the most in this moment was her assumptions about his family. His hands were clenched into white knuckled fists on his lap as his frustration grew throughout his entire body.

"Get out."

Clara's eyes widened at the dismissal, "I'm sorry?"

"Get out. Leave me alone. How many ways should I say it? I don't want you here." he spoke slowly and clearly, making sure the words leaving his lips would really sting. His grey eyes were cold and filled with hate for the girl sitting across from him.

"Sirius, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't want your help. You're putting your nose in places it doesn't fucking belong. Just leave, Clara!" he replied, raising his voice.

Before now, Clara never thought anything Sirius would say to her could ever actually hurt her. Normally he just got on her nerves and frustrated her, but this felt different. Having her sympathy being rejected so forcefully made her feel horrible, and part of her wanted to stay in the compartment out of principle. The idea of leaving him alone when she knew he was hurt made her feel guilty, and knowing he didn't want her there felt even worse.

Clara wanted to object, she didn't want to leave. But his expression remained stoic and cold as he gazed at her. It was simply a lost cause. She knew she wouldn't be able to get anywhere with Sirius. So she stood up and left the compartment without another word, allowing the boy to wallow in his pain on his own.

When she closed the door, she had completely forgotten that the entire reason she left her own compartment in the first place was to go see James. All of her thoughts were consumed by the argument she had witnessed between the Black brothers as well as the pain she saw on both of their faces.

The sudden empathy she had formed for the boy in that moment confused her. Her feet mindlessly carried her back to her compartment where Lily had already returned from her prefect meeting. Clara didn't realize she had been gone that long, but she was so focused Sirius, she wasn't really paying attention to the time at all.
Marlene and Lily stopped what they were doing as soon as they saw her expression.

Clara's brows were knit into a frown and the color had been drained from her face. The Potter girl sat down next to Marlene without a word, diverting her eyes out the window, focusing on the blurs of green and brown of the passing forest outside.

"Everything okay?" Lily asked quietly.

Clara shook her head without tearing her eyes away from the window, "I'm not sure."

"What does that even mean?" Marlene asked.

"I walked in on Sirius and Regulus arguing with each other." she admitted, finally looking back at the girls to gauge their reactions.

"Well they're brothers, I'm sure they get into it all the time." Marlene shrugged.

Clara shook her head adamantly, "This was different."

"They were just out in the hall arguing?" Lily asked.

"No of course not, they were in a compartment." Clara sank down in her seat, suddenly feeling ashamed by her nosy behavior, "I sort of interrupted it."

"Why in Merlin's name would you do that?" Marlene asked, not even trying to hide the judgement in her voice.

"I don't know!" she blurted out defensively before lowering her voice again, "I just heard Sirius and I got worried."

Marlene raised a skeptical eyebrow at the girl next to her, "Since when do you care about Sirius?"

"I don't usually!" she insisted, "But this was different. They were arguing about their family, I swear they would have killed one another if no one stepped in."

Lily sighed, the girl had been taking in all the details of Clara's story as if she were a detective investigating a crime scene. The sound of the air escaping her lungs caused the two other girls to look at her expectantly.

"There are things going on with certain families and certain people that we could never understand. I was afraid that Severus was going down that path for as long as I was his friend. Now I'm certain without me, he's already too far gone." she whispered with sadness in her beautiful green eyes.

"You're not talking about-"

"I am." the redhead nodded matter-of-factly.

None of the girls had to utter the phrase 'Death Eater' to know exactly what Lily was referring to. They had all been reading the papers, everyone knew about the muggle murders and the growing power of an unimaginable evil.

"You don't think Regulus is part of that crowd do you? Didn't he just turn fifteen a few weeks ago? He's just a kid!" Marlene asked, her voice probably a little too loud for the sensitive subject they were discussing.

"I'm not sure what's going on with Regulus, but perhaps Sirius is scared that it's too late to save his brother from that sort of life." Lily hypothesized.

Clara sighed and returned her attention out the window. She had nothing left to say. Things were changing far too quickly for her liking.

Her life almost felt like it was flashing by just as quickly as the trees outside of the train, as if the landscape of her future was rushing by in a blur before she even had the chance to focus on what was happening. The seventeen year old always felt like she'd had a grasp on her life and had a clear picture of what her future would look like.

Before now her biggest worry was getting high enough marks in her N.E.W.T. level Herbology class so she could become a Healer one day.
But Lily's revelation that her former best friend was falling in line with such a dangerous crowd and the fact that Regulus might be as well told her that the life she had come to know was quickly shifting into something much more serious than coursework and trying to have a train compartment to herself and her friends.

There was no telling where her story would lead over the next several years. All she knew was that it felt like things were taking a turn down a road she had never been before. This detour wasn't listed on any sort of map. All of them were going blindly into the future, all of them would eventually have to come face-to-face with something much, much darker than they could have ever predicted.