"People don't have happily ever afters. People barely have ever afters"
-Grey's Anatomy

Penn

"It's been days! Why haven't we found her yet?" I gripped the edges of my desk, feeling the wood splinter.

"We're doing everything we can Alpha. Patrols are going around the pack territory nonstop and the search parties you organized are working night and day." Ellis spoke calmly, for my benefit, I'm sure.

I should calm down. I knew that. But my mind was in turmoil. My wolf was constantly snarling and scratching to be let out. Apparently my efforts to find Alice weren't enough. He wanted to take control, to go after her himself. If she wasn't found soon I feared that I would let him.

I let it a frustrated growl. "Send out more patrols."

"We're running out of men, if we send out any more we won't have any warriors left in case the hunters attack." Ellis responded a bit hesitantly.

"Damn it Ellis!" My arm swung with fury, landing a hard fist through a layer of drywall. "I want her found! Now!" I pulled my fist out of the wall, panting heavily. I looked at the hole in the wall, then to the man who had been like a father to me. He looked disappointed in a way. "I'm sorry Ellis. I'm going insane without her."

"It's alright. The pack understands that you need her Penn. No one could imagine what it's like to have your mate stolen from you. The whole pack is behind you in your search. But you still have to think rationally right now. Besides, it's New Years Eve, Penn. Breathe, be with your pack, and know that we will find her." Ellis put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"We will maintain the current patrols and keep the rest of our warriors prepared in case there is another attack." I slumped into my office chair, dropping my head into my hands. There was nothing I could do but wait.

A sudden howl had my head snapping up. Eli burst through my office door, breathing hard, covered in a sheet of sweat.

"Alpha, come fast." The boy could barely talk he must have run all the way here.

"What is it Elijah?"

"It's Alice."

~~~

My heart was pounding as I raced through the forest, paws pounding the snow covered ground. My wolf had full control as he raced us forward, my warriors at my sides, leading me towards my Alice.

My ears picked up the sluggish rhythm of a failing heartbeat. The smell of cherry blossoms and mint mixed with the icy air. I skid to a stop.

There she was, laying in a bed of snow. Her skin was a sickly white and her lips were an unhealthy shade of blue. The smell of her blood was present on the snow and smoke hung thick in the air. I could just barely hear the cracking of burning tree limbs in the distance. I suppose it was a forest fire, but my mind was focused on other things.

My wolf whimpered. He hated to see our mate like this. As did I. She looked so small right now.

Eli inched his way towards my Alice, normally I would have growled, but I understood his intentions. He lifted Alice gently and lay her down on my back, throwing a blanket over her, one that someone had thankfully thought to bring along.

As soon as she was securely on my back I took off running. The wind rushed through my fur. I could feel Alice jostle slightly on my back. The cold air held a trace of smoke and it stung my eyes. I knew that I had never run so fast in my life. But this was life or death, and I refused to let my Alice die.

My claws dug into the frozen dirt, bringing me to a screeching halt. As soon as I stopped Alice and I were surrounded by pack members.

People were worriedly muttering, questioning if Alice was going to be alright, if there was anything they could do to help, kids were crying at the state of my mate.

I noticed Alex and a team of assistants elbowing their way through the crowd.

I let them take Alice from my back and slide her onto a gurney even though it killed me inside. There was nothing more I wanted than to hold her close and ensure that she was safe and healthy. But the best thing thing I could do for her right now was to let her go with the pack doctor.

Alex and his team hurried off into my house. Pack members stood silent around me, heads bowed.

What would I do if Alice didn't make it? She had become my world in the short amount of time I had known her. I couldn't lose her, I just couldn't.

My claws raked the frozen earth ad I threw my head back, letting out a pain filled howl into the night. A tiny howl sounded next to mine; one of the pups felt my pain. More and more howls rang out through the air, until every member of my pack was howling.

These were sorrowful howls. But they held something else as well; hope. The hope that my mate would be alright. This pack was my family, they understood me. And I had never been more grateful to have them at my sides.

Our howls were silenced by the front door of my home being slammed open. "Alpha, come quickly," Alex called from the doorway.

I launched myself forward, still in wolf form, running through the door and up the staircase where Alice's scent was the strongest.

I shifted back into my human form mid-run. Alice was laid down on my bed, covered to her chin beneath a gargantuan pile of blankets. Her hair splayed out on the pillows in a halo of blue. I could hear her now steadier but still weak heartbeat.

I had just pulled on a pair of jeans when my pack doctor, Alex, walked through the door.

"It's a good thing you're here Alpha."
"Why," my chest immediately flooded with panic, "what's wrong with her?"
"Well she doesn't have any severe frost bite and the cuts on her feet should heal just fine," he stopped to take a heavy breath. "But she isn't responding to any stimuli."

I let out a muted growl, "what the hell does that mean Alex?"
"It means that while she will heal, she may not wake up. It's to do with shock, either what she went through when she was taken or the cold, she's been out in the snow for hours. The bottom line is that there was definite psychological trauma that is preventing her from waking up."

My hands ripped at my hair, tearing up the roots. To know that my beautiful Alice might never wake up, might never smile, never hug me, never look at me with those perfectly blue eyes again, that killed me.

"But I think there may be one thing that could break her out of the coma." My head spun around to face Alex so quickly I nearly gave myself whiplash.
"What is it? Tell me Alex, I'll do anything," I pleaded.
"I think that she might wake if she were marked," he whispered, as if he were afraid of my reaction.

The feeling of my teeth grinding together sent an unpleasant chill down my back. "Is that really the only option? There has to be something else. I can't mark her Alex, I don't even know if she accepts me yet. I can't bind her to me if it isn't what she wants." I paced my bedroom, waiting for his response.
"I'm sorry Alpa, I don't know of anything else that could be done."

I took a steadying breath. "Don't apologize, none of this is your fault. Just leave me with her please." Alex bowed his head briefly and exited the room, shutting the door behind himself.

I sank down beside Alice where she lay motionless and took her hand in mine. She was cold. I didn't know what to do. I could mark her and have her hate me for it, or I could leave her to wither away in a dreamless sleep, never to hear her laugh again.

I just sat there, looking at her resting face, hoping for some sign of movement behind her closed eyes.

There was none. And so I sat.

The sun came up and set again beneath the horizon. Alice showed no signs on life, except for the subtle rise and fall of her chest and the steady rhythm of her heart. I realized as I sat and watched her that I needed her. I was selfish. Horribly, inexplicably selfish when it came to Alice.

And I knew now what I would do.

I leaned over my Alice and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. If this was a fairytale then she would wake up and we would live happily ever after. I guess some naïve, childish part of me wished that this really was a fairy tale. Maybe then she would forgive me for what I was about to do.

"I am in love with you Alice." A spot of wetness dripped from my eye, landing like a flood on her pale cheek. "I'm so sorry." My teeth sunk harshly into the fragile skin of her neck.

I was atrociously selfish.