"Hold me close and hold me fast. This magic spell you cast.
This is la vie en rose"
-Louis Armstrong

Alice

Wednesdays are boring.

I suppose I should be happy right now. I mean I am on school break for Thanksgiving, three days off from school, plus the weekend. Not to mention that I will be going to Penn's house tomorrow for dinner. I should be excited, but today is Wednesday, and Wednesdays are boring.

I threw back the covers, letting the cool air hit my legs. My alarm clock read 12:06. I slept until noon, and I didn't regret it one bit.

"Alice darling!" I cringed when I heard her shrill voice calling my name. My mother is definitely not the first thing I want to hear in the morning.

"I'm going into town to look around and do some shopping. There is absolutely nothing in the kitchen aside from tortilla chips." Apparently she didn't even need a full conversation, much to my relief. She just kept yelling, all the while assuming that I was listening. "I'm getting takeout while I'm in town. Heaven knows I'm not about to cook, not after last time."

My mind immediately flashed back fours years. Me and dad were the only ones in the family who could cook. But mom had decided to make pasta to surprise dad for dinner. She ended up setting off the smoke alarms, which set off the sprinklers. That day ended with mom, dad, and I eating Chinese takeout on the couch, laughing about the grumpy firemen that had shown up.

That was before dad left. Before my mother distanced herself from me.

I sighed and hauled myself off the bed just as I heard the front door slam. At least she was gone for now and I had some time alone. Even though in truth, I didn't want to be alone. But it was better than being with her.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I wasn't actually hungry, but I knew I had to eat. There was no milk in the fridge but I reached for the cereal anyway, which had been strategically placed on the highest shelf. Out of my reach.

I dropped my head, blaming nature for my shortness, then proceeded to clamber onto the countertop. I was on my knees, getting onto my feet just as the doorbell rang. I jumped, slightly startled by the noise, and lost my balance.

"Ahh!" My very slow reflexes finally kicked in and I hugged the cabinet tightly, glad that it kept me from tumbling off the counter.

Pounding footsteps echoed through the house, and skid into the kitchen. "Alice! Holy shit, are you alright? I was at the door and I heard you scream," Penn sounded absolutely frantic.

I turned my head slightly to look at him and man, did he look wonderful. Gray slacks hugged his legs, expensive brown leather shoes adorned his feet, and a white dress shirt covered his torso. The top few buttons were undone and he wore no jacket. He looked absolutely godlike, despite the deep scowl on his face.

He was mad, I could tell. "Alice, what the hell are you thinking climbing countertops, what if you had fallen?" Yup, definitely mad.

"Sorry," I mumbled guiltily, my face still pressed into the wooden cabinet. Climbing counters because of my shortness was embarrassing. Almost falling off was embarrassing. Having the man I like scold me for it was the icing on the cake.

Penn sighed, the wrinkled between his brows smoothing itself out. He walked forward and I was suddenly very aware that I was in my pajamas. But he didn't seem to mind, or even notice my lack of pants.

I wasn't too sure what he was doing until I felt large, warm hands on my waist. Penn lifted me effortlessly off the counter and I felt my bare feet touch the cool tile floor. It wasn't even a second before I was being crushed in a suffocating hug.

"You scared the life out of me sweetheart," Penn mumbled into my hair. He was hunched over so he could actually reach me and he was hugging me tighter than he ever had.

"I'm sorry," my voice was muffled by his firm chest. "I just wanted some cereal."

Penn's body shook and his deep laugh vibrated through me as I clung to him. "You scare me half to death and all you can say is "I wanted some cereal"? You are something else sweetheart," he squeezed me impossibly tight before letting go.

His hands found their way to my face and his brown eyes seared into mine. "Don't ever do that again Alice. Please." I stayed quiet for a minute. I didn't understand why he cared so much. But I'm glad someone did.

"Okay," I whispered back and Penn sighed in relief, letting his hands drop.
"Good. Now, the reason I came here was to bring you something." He leaned to the side and picked up a bag from the floor. 'Marlene's Diner' was printed across the brown paper. I perked up at the sight. That was definitely better than cereal. 

"I brought lunch. Or I guess it's more like breakfast for you," he smirked down at me, finally noticing my state of dress. I felt my cheeks heat up, and tugged at the hem of my oversized shirt. It wasn't exactly the first time he had seen me like this, but it still seemed too intimate, I knew it was inappropriate for him to see me like this.

"Oh um, thanks. For bringing breakfast, and the counter thing. I'm just gonna go change real quick." I edged towards the stairs. "Make yourself at home," I sprinted up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door behind me.

Why is it that I couldn't breathe properly when he was around? But in the good way. The image of him towering over me, that concerned look in his eyes popped into my head.

Definitely the good way.

I took a deep breath and quickly changed into some jeans and a light sweater. After checking my hair in the mirror I proceeded down the stairs.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, breakfast laid out in front of him. He sat with his hands folded on the table and his shoulders straight. If one were seeing him for the first time they would say he looks cocky, like he owns the place. But I saw the softness in his eyes. I knew how gentle he was. I knew the Penn behind the mask. At least I'd like to say that I did.

I smiled and he returned it with a smile of his own. "Morning," I spoke, taking the seat across from him.
"Good morning," he had a lopsided grin on his face which made him look younger than he was. However old he was. Maybe I didn't know Penn. Not really.

"How old are you?" I blurted out after a swig of coffee. Penn just continued to smile. "I don't think I should tell you. It might scare you off."
"Well if you're over fifty, then you don't have to tell me. I'm just curious, I don't really know anything about you," my gaze drifted down to the croissant on my plate.

"I'm twenty six. Is that completely off putting?" He smiled sheepishly, drinking from his own coffee cup.
"No. Just- unexpected. You don't look twenty six, at least I don't think. I'm not all that sure what twenty six is supposed to look like," oh great, I'm rambling.

"Hmm, and how old are you?" He asked.
"Seventeen," jeez, I felt like child compared to him.
"Nine years," Penn randomly blurts out.
"What?"
"We're nine years apart in age."
"Oh." Now I really felt like a child.
"You know Alice, you're right. We don't know all that much about each other. So tell me." His chocolate brown eyes pierced into mine.

"Tell you what?" I tilted my head in confusion.
Penn shot me another breathtaking smile, "everything."

~~~

"Okay, favorite tv show." Penn spoke.
"Gilmore Girls, hands down. You?"
"How I Met Your Mother. What about favorite movie?"
"Paris When It Sizzles. What's yours?" I reply
Penn hesitated, "I don't think I actually have one. There's too many great ones to choose from." He scratched the back of his neck.

We had relocated to the couch an hour ago. I leaned back further into the cushions and Penn did the same, trying to get comfortable. We sat on opposite ends of the couch and my legs were folded on the cushion between us.

We sat in what I thought was a nice silence, but Penn looked a bit uncomfortable. His muscled were coiled and he looked tense.

"What's wrong?" I blurted out without thinking. Penn glances up at me, looking hesitant.
"Please don't think this is weird," he glanced up about me and suddenly hooked his hands behind my knees. He tugged me forward by my legs and laid them across his lap.

Now I was nervous. My breathing sped up and I could feel my palms get clammy, I don't know what I supposed to do. Luckily I was saved by the bell, or in this case, saved by the door slam.

"Alice darling, I'm back. And I brought Chinese. The shopping in town is abysmal, but I managed to find a few decent stores. Where are you?" My mother rounded the corner into the living room and I scrambled up. She was the last person who should be seeing me and Penn in that position.

But I wasn't fast enough standing up, she had seen and I could practically see the gears grinding in her head.

"Well hello," she plastered on a fake smile and walked forward, hand outstretched. "I'm Beth, Alice's mom, and you are?" Penn shook her hand and I had to force myself not to cringe.

"My name is Julian Castel. Lovely to meet you Mrs. Walden." My head snapped to look at him. Had he lied to me about his name. Why the hell would he do that. What reason could he have to lie.

"Castel," she cocked her head to the side. "Any connection to Castel Industries?"
"My company. You've heard of it?" He answered, leaving me even more confused. He owned a company. I didn't know this man at all.

"I plan all my trips with Castel Travel, but that's the smallest sector of the company isn't it?"
"Yes," he chuckled. "I've actually been trying to expand the travel unit. Our mechanics unit is the biggest so far. As if there weren't enough cars in the world already," he let out a laugh and my mother joined in.

I just stood there like an idiot. My mother knew more about this man than I did. That stung.

"As it happens I'm flying out this afternoon. Another business dinner," her eyes were fixated on P- Julian. It's like I didn't even exist.

Something seemed to click in his head, and his gaze flickered over to me for only a second.

"Well Mrs. Walden. It was wonderful meeting you, but I should get going. I have a few things to sort out before the holiday." He shook her hand again and then turned to me, my mother seemingly forgotten.

Penn's brown eyes pierced into mine and seemed to plead something. "I'll see you tomorrow Alice. I will see you, won't I?"

I hesitated. He had lied to me. He lied about his name and omitted the fact that he owns a massive corporation. I didn't know this man. But I wanted to.

I met his eyes, "Yes. You'll see me." I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, but he seemed happy. Penn took a step forward and wound his long arms around me, pressing me tightly to his chest.

"I'll explain tomorrow, just please don't quit on me." He whispered into my ear so my mother couldn't hear. I nodded into his chest and he released me with a sigh, walking towards the door.

"Again Mrs. Walden, it was lovely to meet you, I'll see you Alice."

Penn was only three seconds out of the door when my mom turned to me.
"He was very nice, darling. Very charming," she gave me a tightlipped smile.
"Yeah, I like him." She turned to me with an incredulous look on her face.
"Oh darling."
"What?"
"You can't possibly believe that a man like that would want a girl like you." Was she serious? Penn was my friend. The 'I like him'  had been innocent. Completely platonic.

"What does that mean?" I questioned, my suspicion was rising.
"Well, I just mean that you are small, fragile, you have a past. And Julian is tall, handsome, successful, seemingly perfect in every way. He must have dozens of girls after him-"
"Gee mom, just say 'fat chance' already!" I cut her off.

"Darling no, I'm just telling you to look at the situation rationally. I don't know what man would love a girl with your past. You know what happened."

"Yes mother, I know what happened! You know how I know? Because I was there. I was the one who was trapped in a filthy, freezing basement for three months, being abused and violated. So yes mother, I know." I turned away, intent on stomping up the stairs but I got a second wind.

"And thank you, by the way. For informing me that events in my past, which were beyond my control, are going to prevent me from having a normal life or relationship. Really, thank you for being such a loving and supporting mother. Does the 'Mom of the Month Club' know about you? All I did was introduce you to my friend. One of the only friends I have made in years, and you turned it into an opportunity to tear me down. Thanks for that."

With that, I marched up the stairs and slammed by bedroom door, locking it before I threw myself, face first, onto the bed.

I detested my mother.