"Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do"
-Hozier

Alice

I rang the doorbell, not quite comfortable with just walking in like Eli did the first time I came here. I looked around the neighborhood while I waited for him to answer the door.

It was exactly as I remembered it. Kids and parents playing, couples strolling, it was perfect. The only strange part was the occasional glances that people would send me.

Maybe I was dressed wrong. I looked down at my outfit. Dark jeans, loose gray sweater, knee high boots. My eyebrows furrowed, I didn't think I looked bad. The door opened.

He looked breathtaking. Black slacks hung on his hips and a blue dress shirt adorned his torso. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the top few buttons were undone. A grin broke out on Pen- Julian's face.

"Hi," he greeted.
"Hi."  Oh god, my awkward is showing. I didn't know how I was supposed to act right now. This man had lied to me. Should I be mad? Upset?

"Come in Alice," he stood to the side and I slipped through the door. "I know I have explaining to do. I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to do so," he stared deep into my eyes. "Thank you Alice."

I looked away from his intense gaze. "Please explain," I spoke. P- Julian sighed.
"Come to the kitchen, I don't want anything to burn," he sounded so defeated that I almost caved in and forgave him right then. Almost.

I sat down on a bar stool while Penn went to the stove to stir something. "I guess I should start with my name," he glanced back to see if I was listening. I was.

"My full name is Julian Penn Castel. I'm twenty six, I own a company, Castel Industries, and I like guacamole." I smiled at that bit. "When we first met I didn't want you to treat me like all my employees, or the people in this neighborhood do. They all tiptoe around me and I didn't want you to do that. I want us to be friends, equals." He looked serious. "That's why I told you to call me Penn. That and I don't particularly like my first name. I'm sorry I lied to you Alice," he walked over and stood next to me, catching my hand in his. "I swear to never lie to you again Alice. Just please forgive me, I can't live knowing that you hate me." Penn sounded so defeated, I had to take pity on the man.

"I could never hate you Penn," I whispered. "Or should I call you Julian?" A lazy smirk plastered itself on my face.

He grinned and pulled me into a tight hug, he smelled like trees. "To you it's Penn," his voice was soft in my ear, it sent a shivers down my back. The good kind.

Penn pulled away just enough to look at me, his hands remained on my waist. "Thank you for forgiving me sweetheart," he whispered.

"You're welcome," my voice was just as quiet as his. He leaned closer. His eyes glanced down at my lips for a second before snapping up to meet mine.

His leaned closer. His lips were just an inch away. Oh god, was he going to kiss me? Did I want him to?

His forehead rested against mine, our lips were impossibly close. His eyes were a vortex of indecipherable emotions.

Yes. I definitely wanted him to kiss me. He leaned even closer. Our lips were about to touch-

The doorbell rang.

I jumped away from him and took a deep breath, unaware that I had been holding my breath this whole time. Penn pulled away, looking equal parts disappointed and irritated.

"I'll get the door," he walked away and I could breathe normally again. A second later Eli came bouncing into the kitchen, holding a tray with a massive turkey on it.

And he wasn't alone. His parents, Ellis and Mary followed after him. And they weren't the only ones. Dozens of people filed into the house, setting dishes of food on the tables and counters. They all spoke polite greeting to me and I returned the pleasantries.

Kids were already running around the house. A few of them looked at me shyly and proceeded to run away giggling. They were adorable.

And then Penn came in. And his eyes never strayed from me. He walked closer, the air in the room felt thicker suddenly. He stopped a few inches away from me.

"So sweetheart, shall we eat dinner?" Penn smiled at me and my nerves completely melted away. I made my mind up right then, staring into his caring eyes.

I liked Penn. A lot.

~~~

"Thank you for dinner, it was wonderful," I leaned against the kitchen counter. "And thank you for explaining things to me."
"Anytime. Seriously, if you ever need anything, please come over, or call. I'm always here for you Alice, you know that." Penn came closer, looking reluctant to stop a couple feet away from me.
"I will. Thank you Penn," he took a step closer.

"Alice?"
"Yes?"
"There's something I've wanted to do since the day I met you," he trailed off, leaving the vague statement hanging in the now limited air between us.
I swallowed hard, "And what is that?"

He took another step closer, only a couple of inches remained between us. Penn's hands rested on the counter behind me, blocking me in place. He towered over me, his arms and body surrounded me, just an inch away from touching me, moving closer still.

I think I liked where this was going.

I realized in that moment that I really, truly liked Penn. Without a doubt. It was a strange feeling, I hadn't liked a guy since him. And he had ruined me.

But Penn was nothing like him. Penn was sweet, and kind, he knew about my past, and he actually cared about me. I see it in his eyes every time he looked at me the way that he is now.

Penn stared into my eyes, making my heat beat impossibly fast. He looked conflicted.
"Alice I-" he didn't finish his sentence, instead a growl like sound escaped his throat, startling me.

"Penn, what is-" he didn't let me finish the sentence. I couldn't believe this was happening.

His lips were warm and they moved slowly against my own, which were unresponsive due to shock. I was frozen. I couldn't even breathe. This was so unfamiliar to me. I haven't kissed a man since him. I was so scared. But god, his lips felt wonderful.

He pulled away and I still couldn't move. "Alice sweetheart, I'm sorry, I just needed to. I couldn't help myself any longer." His eyes showed the pain that he felt. I could tell he felt rejected, truly sad that I hadn't kissed him back. I don't know why but it hurt me to see his pain. I wanted to make it better. And most of all, I wanted his lips on mine again.

"Please, forgive me Alice." I looked into his beautiful brown eyes, I saw the pain and the love in them.

With a shaky voice, I whispered, "There's nothing to forgive." His eyes snapped to mine, suddenly full of hope.

Hesitantly putting my hands on his broad shoulders I pulled him closer to me. He now stood between my legs while I sat on the countertop. Penn's intense gaze was burning into me, holding me captive.

I stretched up, even when I was on top of a counter he was still taller than me.

At this point my body had a life of its own. I couldn't believe I was doing this. But I know I wanted to. I was done hesitating and being scared. I wanted this. I wanted Penn.

I pressed my lips to his, and this time he was the one taken by surprise, but not for long.

Penn's arms snaked around my waist, pressing me impossibly closer, until every curve of my body fit against him. My hand moved of its own accord, tangling into his hair and pulling at it, enticing a growl from deep within his throat.

Our kiss was quickly turning heated. I gasped when he bit down on my bottom lip. He seized the opportunity and his tongue was suddenly in mouth, exploring every inch. Even with the lack of space between us, he still seemed to want me closer.

Penn let out another growl, his strong hands lifted me from the counter, guiding my legs to wrap fully around his waist. There were electric shocks traveling throughout my body, making me shudder. I loved this.

He kept one hand under my thigh, the other on my back, ensuring I wouldn't escape. Not that I wanted to. Next thing I knew we were moving. Penn effortlessly walked the both of us up the stairs and through a door, shutting it behind us.

The second my back touched the bed I snapped out of my hormone induced daze.

I broke away from his lips, gasping for breath. He didn't seem to mind, his lips trailed down my neck, nibbling at a spot where my neck and shoulder met.

"Penn we- I can't do this," I managed to gasp out. His lips froze on my neck while I just kept rambling.
"I really like you Penn. I really really like you. And that kiss was incredible, and I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime. But this whole bed thing, I feel like it's leading to something. Something I'm not ready for. Please Penn, don't be angry at me. I'm just not ready for this step yet."

Penn pushed himself up onto his arms so he hovered over me.
"Alice, I wasn't expecting us to sleep together tonight. I'm not expecting that anytime soon, I know you've been hurt in the past. I know you're not ready for that. I'm happy to just kiss you," his thumb traced over my lips, "and hold you. I'm happy with you."

I felt an unbelievable amount of relief rush through me. "Thank you Penn, thank you," now that I was calm I leaned up and pressed my lips to his once again.

We kissed slowly and passionately for what felt like hours. I didn't want it to end. But then Penn pulled away. I whimpered at the loss.

"We should stop now sweetheart, or I won't be able to." I was disappointed that he wanted to stop, but I nodded. Penn lay down on his side, facing me and pulled me tightly into his arms.

"Can I ask a favor of you?" He sounded hesitant.
"Of course you can," I wrapped an arm around his waist, laying my head against his strong chest. It felt wonderful to be in his arms.
"Would you stay the night," he paused, "with me?"

My gaze lifted up to look at him. He looked scared, like a lost puppy. I smiled softly at him.

"Only if I can borrow a shirt to sleep in." A massive grin broke into his face and he squeezed me closer to him.

"You can have anything you want. I'd give you the world if you asked for it."