I read a quote somewhere about people being so broken that they get mad at others for being whole, and it resonated with me. And I don't mean that in the way that you think. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I'm the broken one and I'm mad at everyone who isn't cracked like I am.

I wasn't always like this. A year ago, I was all bright and shiny and saw the world through clean as fuck windows. Now my windows are stained and I'm jagged and rough.

I could blame my ex boyfriend for making me all dark and twisty, but I suppose that wouldn't be fair to him. I did this to myself when I let my anger and hurt fester and turn to hate. Blood-boiling, toe curling, poison infested hate.

I'm drawn out of my internal monologue by my friends' bickering and it takes everything in me not to yell at them to just shut the fuck up.

"So, what? You need it, but I want it more," Sam hisses at Mandy.

Mandy gives her a look so full of hate that I look away. "You're so selfish!" She says this in that loud whisper voice that she does when she thinks that she's just whispering like a regular person.

I tune them out and poke the lumpy potatoes on my tray. I don't get involved in their fights anymore. Not since they'd left me to fight mine alone and had chosen instead to remain "impartial" although I was supposed to be their friend. Bitches.

"Quinn, can you believe her?" Mandy asks me, and I just look at her. She raises her brow at my silence and crosses her arms. "Quinn."

"I wasn't listening," I say honestly. I know that it'll piss her off. I hope that it does.

Sam laughs and shovels a spoonful of potatoes in her mouth. "Are you coming over tonight?"

"No."

She frowns. "You never come over anymore."

"Is your brother going to be there?" Her brother being my ex-boyfriend, Jessie. Unfortunate, I know.

"Yes, but..."

"No," I say again. "I'm going to Boy Sam's party." I'm not. I'm going home and maybe taking a long nap before going for my evening run.

Sam doesn't like my answer. She purses her lips and pushes her tray away. "You'd rather hang out with an asshole like Sam? What the hell is wrong with you?"

I pick up my coke. "So many things. So many fucked up things, Samantha."

"How long are you going to punish us?" Mandy asks. "It's been an entire year and you're still acting like a raging bitch."

"I'm not acting," I say as I stand. "See you later."

I hear Mandy's high-pitched whisper saying that I'm impossible and I smile.

I'm not punishing them. I just don't like them that much anymore. I know that I should stop hanging out with them if I dislike them so much, but I can't. Our lives are too entwined, and I don't want to spend my senior year feeling even more awkward. And I know that they'll never let me go either for the same reasons. Also, they're hoping that I'll forgive them for taking Jessie's side in the breakup.

Speaking of the devil, I pass Jessie as I'm on my way to my English class and he smiles at me. I raise my brow and walk on. I haven't spoken to him in months and don't intend to break my streak now.

"Quinn!"

I flip him off and walk faster. Why he insists on talking to me when he knows that I'll just ignore him is beyond me.

He falls into step beside me and sighs. "I don't know why you hate me so much when you're the one that dumped me." I don't reply, choosing instead to check my nails for dirt. "Come on, man. I don't understand why you're being this way."

When I reach my English class, I give him a look that tells him to go away, and then I take a seat at the back.

"You should talk to him," Sai says from the desk beside mine.

"And you should mind your business." I open my notebook and write the date then pull out my phone and check the time. Fifteen minutes before the bell rings and class officially starts.

"Just saying."

I give her the same look that I'd given Jessie and when she looks away, I open my Twitter app and lose myself in everyone else's drama.

I don't have anything against Sai. In fact, I liked her a lot better than I did my other friends. I just didn't like other people weighing in on what happened between me and Jessie, a million years after the event. Where was she when I was spitting blood after coming to blows with the girl that he'd cheated on me with? She was on the sidelines, trying not to take sides, along with everyone else, and for that alone I didn't care for her input.

Nobody had come to my rescue when Nessa had slapped me so hard that my teeth shook, but when I'd punched her and broken her nose, they'd suddenly remembered to jump in and pull her away.

Fucking traitors.

The bells rings and other students slowly trickle in. Some of them smile and offer a greeting and the rest of them are smarter and don't even look at me.

English goes by quickly and as I'm packing my books up, Jessie appears at my side. I can see the interest on everyone's faces as they pass by and I hate that they care so much.

"Can you just give me a minute?"

I stuff my things into my bag and sling it over my shoulder, accidentally hitting Jessie as I do so. He grunts and waits for an apology that won't come.

"Quinn, come on. I can't take much more of this." He runs his fingers through his brown curls and for a minute I'm unable to move. "Talk to me. Please."

I mentally shake his spell off and then push past him. He follows just like I expected and when I stop at my locker, he does too.

We do this routine every day and it never gets old. He sticks around as much as the girls do because he hopes that I'll forgive him, but I never will.

I collect the books that I'll need and then make my way to the library. I have a free period next and Jessie follows me all the way. I know for a fact that he doesn't have the same free as me, so this surprises me, but I remain tight lipped while he babbles on beside me.

"I got into UCM," he tells me and although I pretend not to be listening, my nostrils flare.

That was my first-choice school and be knows it. Jerk.

"I don't want to do this all year," he says as he takes the seat opposite me.

I spread my books on the entirety of the table and shove his hands off. He picks up my Math workbook and finds the page that I'm at. I snatch it from him and close it. We do this for a few minutes until it gets annoying and I start repacking my bag to change seats.

"Okay, I'll stop." He places his hand on mine to still it and when I shake him off he sighs. "I didn't cheat on you."

Those words make me look at him. I don't for a second believe him, but it catches me off guard. It's the first time that he's said that to me. Everyone else had rallied for him and proclaimed his innocence, but he'd remained mum on the subject.

I bite my lip. It's taking everything in me to refrain from telling him that I don't care. I'd have to break my steak to do so, so that's out of the question.

He'd ignored me right back in the first month that I'd broken up with him, so I'd taken his silence as an admission of guilt. Fast forward to where we are now, and he never shuts up. The difference is though, that he has never mentioned the actual reason that we hadn't worked out. Until now.

"I promise you that I would never hurt you like that." His eyes are pleading with me for understanding, but I'm fresh out of that. "You know me, Quinn. I loved you too much to have ever done something like that."

I roll my eyes at the mention of him loving me and look down at my phone. I smile at nothing and pretend to be replying to a text and when my eyes meet his, he looks pained. I feel bad for a second, but my sympathy leaves with the arrival of Nessa.

She touches Jessie on the arm and I want to fling my phone at her. "Quinn."

I scrunch my nose at the fact that she has the nerve to address me. "Homewrecker," I say with a smile. My smile widens when her face goes bright red and she stomps off.

"Really?" Jessie asks, but I don't even look at him.

I open my workbook and start on my weekend homework. Jessie doesn't say anything else while I work, but he doesn't leave either and it bugs me.

My phone buzzes and although I know that it's only a twitter notification, I smile for Jessie's benefit and grab it. I have my messages muted so even if I was dating someone new like I wanted him to believe, I wouldn't even know when a text comes through. Jessie knows that I mute all my texts, so the fact that it looks like I'm talking to someone worth unmuting it for, must hurt. When I look at him and take in his expression, my smile drops but only because he looks so sad.

He shakes his head at me and then leaves and I tell myself that it's what I wanted. When he looks back and catches me staring, he doesn't smile, and I chastise myself for being so petty.

I know that for someone who shouldn't care about him, I sure care a whole lot. Maybe that's why I'm so angry. Because for the life of me, I can't get over him. I've been using my hurt to make myself hate him in the hopes that eventually I'll be able to date again, but now that he's officially said that he's innocent, I know that shit just got ten times harder.