Chapter 5: Soph

"You ever had sex like that before?" I asked Ed outright afterwards.

We were spooning under the covers, breaths in sync, hearts beating together.

A tiny sigh of laughter pushed past his lips and warmed the back of my neck.

"Not since my first time probably."

I smiled. "Funny. It felt a lot like losing my virginity."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So different to what I'm used to with you. It made me feel inexperienced all over again."

His fingers traced patterns across my stomach. "Slow and romantic isn't really my style either, so you don't need to worry. I'll fuck your brains out again tomorrow night."

I bit my lip to stifle my laugh. "I'm not worrying. I liked it. It was nice."

"Eurgh." He nuzzled his face into my neck. "Nice? That's hardly a glowing review."

"Didn't think it was supposed to be about glowing reviews. Thought it was supposed to be about love and romance."

"It is, but I still like glowing reviews."

Grinning, I twisted in his arms to face him. His eyes sparkled with humour, so clearly he wasn't actually offended.

"I love you. Only you. Nobody has ever made me feel this way," I said.

The sparkle slowly faded, and a tightness formed in his jaw. "You don't have to say that just to reassure me, Soph."

"I'm not."

"Because I appreciate the sentiment, and I do believe you feel that way for me, but you thought you were going to marry Mike."

I arched a brow. "What, you want me to propose?"

With a roll of his eyes, he squeezed my hip. "I'm being serious."

"Yes, I thought I was going to marry Mike. But we were together for several years and he was my first long-term boyfriend. That was just a natural assumption on my part. With you, I have more experiences to draw from. I know what's real. You're my best friend and I love you. I know I don't show it often enough, but that's only because I've never felt like this before and it still scares me a little."

The vulnerable confession had my heart thumping, and with our naked chests crushed together, he'd probably be able to feel every single beat. Each one for him.

"You do show it, Soph. You're far more in control of your emotions than I am. It's not a bad thing."

"Was it about the ring?" I asked, before I could second guess.

Ed opened his mouth to respond, but hesitation ghosted through his eyes.

"Because I took off Mike's ring and replaced it with yours?"

A resigned sigh. "I mean, yeah. Partly. But I know you wearing Mike's ring didn't mean anything romantic. It was just the symbolism of you taking off his and putting on mine. I'm sorry."

I frowned. "Why are you apologising?"

"Is it a bit possessive of me?"

Amusement bubbled up my throat. "That you're happy I'm no longer wearing my ex's ring? I'd say that's completely rational."

"No, I know, but... I don't know, Soph. I still struggle sometimes. You're sacrificing a lot for me. There are plenty of other guys who come with far less baggage."

"I have zero feelings for Mike."

"I'm not talking about Mike."

"Who then? Mac?"

He pressed his lips together. "No. Well, yes, I guess. Not just Mac. Anyone."

"There is nothing but friendship between Mac and me."

"You slept together. There's obviously an attraction there."

"I wouldn't call it an attraction. We had sex out of convenience more than anything. I get why you'd be worried, but you don't need to be. I promise."

His eyes widened. "No, I know. I trust you and I trust what we have. I guess I'm just saying that there are easier options for you. I hate admitting that out loud because I honestly love you so much, but that's half the problem. I'd never want to see you get hurt because of my life, and I'm terrified you will."

His words hung in the air between us. I digested them, let them sink in, and considered them.

"Is that why you don't want to go home?" I asked.

His eyes fluttered shut, dark lashes brushing his cheeks, as his forehead came to rest against mine. A ball of sympathy churned in my stomach.

"Oh, God, Ed..."

"I don't want to lose you, and that makes me so selfish—"

"You're not being selfish. The only thing that would drive me away would be if you started treading on eggshells or behaving differently around me. After everything we've been through, I need us to be one hundred per cent real with each other. The rest of the world can have a censored version of you. I want the uncensored version."

His lips tugged into a tiny smile. "I can give you that."

"And I think we should go out for dinner with Mac and Gabby when we get back."

The smile fell and his nose wrinkled. "No thanks."

"That's not particularly supportive of you."

He smirked. "Just being real. Uncensored."

I narrowed my eyes. "They're my friends. You need to learn to get on with them both."

"I get on fine with Gabby. Mac doesn't like me, and I'm not willing to pretend I like him. This isn't just to do with you."

"Yeah, I know, I get it. But from a PR perspective, it would be better if we're all seen out together. I don't want any rumours starting if I'm spending time with Mac and you're not there too."

His brows knitted together, but this time in contemplation rather than disapproval. Above everything else, Ed was a businessman, and his brand was his business.

"Fine. You're right. And I'll even try my best not to be a primal caveman when we get home afterwards."

I grinned and trickled my fingertips down the centre of his chiselled torso. "I love it when you're a primal caveman."

"Okay, no need to rub it in that you hate me being a regular, romantic guy."

Another thought occurred to me, one that had been brewing ever since I'd gone down on him earlier.

"If we're talking about new styles of sex, I would love a carte blanche on your body."

One dark eyebrow slowly rose. "I'm sure you would."

I pouted. "I let you do whatever you want to mine."

"Exactly. You think I'm going to put the same power in your hands after everything I've done to you?"

"You worried I'll turn vengeful? I'd make it so fucking good for you, baby." I mimicked his husky rasp with the words he'd said to me so many times before.

"I doubt that."

Keeping my eyes on his face, I dragged my fingers lower until they brushed the semi-hard length of his dick.

"And yet you're getting hard thinking about it."

He shifted his hips away from my touch, either out of stubbornness or shame.

"I'm lying next to your naked body. That always makes me hard, regardless of the words coming out of your mouth. You should know that by now."

Cheeky prick.

"Wow. The romantic sex really is over, huh?"

"Only because you prefer me being a caveman. Just giving you what you want, baby."

I knew what he was doing. Riling me up so we could have angry sex. His favourite kind of sex, where he was in control and could win any argument. The patronising use of 'baby' said as much, even if the relaxed angles of his handsome face gave nothing away.

"You really don't want to give up the power? Not even for one night? Is this a genuine boundary or are you just being stubborn? Because I'm not entirely clear."

"I doubt it'll be just one night."

Dodging the question. I tried to contain my smirk, but the subtle narrowing of his eyes suggested I'd failed.

"You think I'll get a taste for it," I said.

"I let you have your fun when we role-played the night I autographed your tits."

"You can autograph my tits again if it makes you feel better. Besides, if I recall correctly, I gave you the best orgasm of your life that night."

"You don't recall correctly."

I bit down on my smile. "Top five at least."

Closing his eyes, he pushed his head back into the pillow. "I can't tell if you're teasing me or if you genuinely want to try it."

"A little of both. Obviously I'll drop it if it's something you really don't want to try. So just be honest."

Sliding his gaze back over to me, he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. Communication about sex, fantasies, and limits remained a fundamental part of our relationship. It had started that very first night we'd slept together, and trust in the bedroom had only ever grown since. The key thing was that both of us felt comfortable suggesting something new in the knowledge that both of us felt comfortable saying no if we weren't into it. Those worked together to ensure a continuous circle of trust and transparency.

"If it was something you really wanted, then I'd agree. One night. Just so you can try it. But you love it when I'm in control, so I don't see the point. You're not doing it because you're lacking something in our sex life. You just want to watch me squirm."

I nibbled the inside of my cheek. "Maybe. But you love watching me squirm. Why can't I get the same pleasure?"

"Knew it." He shook his head to himself, but his lips twitched with amusement.

Grinning, I wriggled closer and slipped my leg between both of his. His dick was now fully hard, and he hissed when I rolled my hips to grind my wetness against the outside of his thigh.

"Meet you halfway," I said quietly. "I'll let you decide when you're ready to try it. I won't bring it up again until then."

He grunted. "I'm ready whenever. I'm not scared."

I believed that, but being with someone dominant in the bedroom had taught me one very important thing. The power always rested with the person not in control. Even if they weren't the one physically controlling things, they called the shots. Set the boundaries. Enforced the limits.

"Okay," I said. "We won't talk of it again until you say so. And if you change your mind, I'll be fine with that. Promise."

"Fine. I won't be changing my mind, though. I'm happy to try it. You're not pushing me into something against my will. My hesitation is to do with pride not discomfort."

"Promise I won't tell anyone." I grinned against his jaw. "Your pride can stay intact."

The corner of his mouth turned upwards. "That's not what I meant, and you damn well know it."

"Still." I dragged my lips up to his ear. "Can't wait to do whatever I want to Teddy Stone's body."

And Ed's response to that taunt was to do whatever he wanted to my body. 

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Thank you for reading :) xx

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For anyone wondering, the 'autograph' night took place in book 2 but the actual sex scene wasn't shared (you haven't missed anything!). I will be sharing it as a bonus chapter on Ream in the future, once I've plucked up the courage -- it's probably up there as one of the more erotic scenes I've written 🙈

UPDATE: The Autograph bonus chapter is now live! You can read it on Ream by joining my Beach Holiday tier, which also gets you access to all my other bonus chapters, character content, 2x exclusive books, and early access to new books. I'll link the chapter in the inline comments ❤️‍🔥