It wasn't just the dreams. Or the nightmares. It was real. Real, but not really.

Real enough so that he could see and hear, but not touch. Unable to grip, unable to grasp. Torn between lies and reality.

He couldn't be around people. Not many of them anyway, and not for a long period of time. He first realized it when they came back from the portal hallway.

A crowd. Several of them actually. People had surrounded them. Their images became blurs, voices muffled in his ears as they showered him in praise. But that wasn't what he saw.

Lukas saw them.

The Blaze Rods had pointed at and insulted him, the people of Cassie Rose's mansion glared at him suspiciously, citizens reached for him with arms outstretched and ready to grab him into PAMA's clutches, the Old Builders laughing as the crowd closed in. Like a grinder ready to crush.

He became claustrophobic. Suddenly it became hard for him to breathe.

It took a few weeks for the crowds to die down, and ever since then, he holed himself up in the Treasure Hall so he wouldn't attract anyone. After a while, he moved to a house outside of Beacontown, a little ways away. The only people he saw were the Order, occasionally. It did get pretty lonely, but it was better than being there. Where the memories connected itself with real life.

They did ask him questions, Jesse the most. She seemed more concerned as time grew on. But whenever he looked at her, all he could feel was guilt. An unsettling feeling in his stomach that made it churn. He couldn't just dump his problems on her. After all she's been through, he couldn't. So he pushed it off, no big deal.

He looked forward to their group adventures because that was when he became distracted. Busy. When he could let himself feel some sort of relief before going back home and facing the problems.

But as the seasons passed, everyone slowly became more distant. Olivia, she moved to Redstonia. Axel, Boomtown. Petra, she was around. But only when she wasn't out somewhere on an adventure. And then came Jesse. She seemed more and more busy each day. Whether she was stuck in her office or out there helping the citizens. It was like she was never free.

Lukas felt bored. And it wasn't exactly the 'I have nothing to do' type of boredom, which could be fixed with an activity. It was a boredom that was mixed with loneliness.

He felt empty. There was nothing for him to do, was there? Some sort of...purpose?

On most days, he would sit around in his little cabin, most of the times walk around the forest nearby since it was usually deserted. And then sometimes, he would walk close enough to Beacontown to get a good look, and then shake his head sadly and head back home.

That left him lost in thoughts, resurfacing the memories that floated back up in his mind and made him think. He couldn't tell if it was good or bad. Reminiscing in the past...it could do things to a person.

It was sunny the day he finally decided to visit Beacontown of his own free will, making his destination the Treasure Hall, where he figured Jesse would be. He took in a solid breath and rolled his shoulders before finally entering the gates of town. Immediately, the feeling returned.

Uneasiness.

He gulped and kept his head low, but that didn't stop the Beacontowners from recognizing one of their heroes, one of their stars.

"Oh my Notch, it's Lukas!"

"He's back!"

"Hey, how have you been?"

He dared to lift his head up, and then with a shy and apologetic smile, picked up the pace and practically speed-walked away. The speed walk turned into a jog, and then a run, and then a sprint. His footsteps pounded on the floor. Heart threatening to pound out of his chest, breaths short and eyes watering. Something clawing at his insides, gnawing at his throat so he could barely make a sound.

"Woah! Lukas! Are you alright?" A figure stood in front of him, blocking his path. Preventing his escape.

Lukas froze, hands shaking, eyes glinting with fear.

"How? How did you get here?" His voice was quiet, raspy. "You're not supposed to be here-Aiden."

*

"What are you talking about?" His vision blurred, his head hurt. A throbbing that pounded furiously in his mind. Colors blended and mixed together to create something different. A citizen stared at him curiously, puzzled to the max. "I'm not Aiden."

And with that he was off running again, cursing at himself over and over, fists clenched furiously into a pale white. Dammit, why was the Treasure Hall so far from the entrance of town?

"Hey!"

He dared a glance, and immediately felt regret. Stacy was there, and Stampy, arms folded across their chests with scowls.

It was you, wasn't it? White Pumpkin. We should have never trusted you.

Cassie Rose's maniac laughter rang in his ears, slicing away at his confidence. And then it turned slower, deeper. The voice in his head was now mechanical. Monotone, yet seething with anger.

Let me into your mind again, PAMA recited excitedly, we can do great things together.

Lukas didn't have time to process the crowd forming around him. He shifted his weight onto a nearby wall, trying ever so hard to soothe the uneven breaths pumping his chest up and down.

They were saying things, confused? He couldn't hear them.

Again, let's play again! It'll be fun this time, kiddo. Maybe you could even win. Just play one more time. Hadrian taunted, pulled him, dragged him.

He was cornered. Their shadows loomed over him, and he had a strong urge to curl up into a ball.

The walls, they grew closer to his body. The netherrack, it burned. The floor, no longer a bridge of safety beneath his feet. And he fell, deeper, harder, into a pool of fear with no edge to grasp.

He was in a purple spotlight, rising higher in the air, frozen and surrounded by utter darkness. Without warning, he plummeted back down, gravity tugging on his body. Something wrapped around him, something tight. The walls of the locked closet aimed to crush him, but he could do nothing. Only watch as they pushed against his skin, tighter and tighter, gripping the life out of him, trapping his sense of free will, bringing him closer and closer to-

"Please," he pleaded shakily, slowly, desperately, holding himself together, "be quiet."

There was a pause, the crowd's murmurs died down. He fidgeted uncomfortably, bringing himself out of his scrunched position. One breath, then another. He faced them, truly, with nothing in front of him.

"I'll be going now," Lukas puffed up his chest and brought his eyes off the ground, "please, go about your business."

And then, escaping the crowd, picked up his feet and ran.