this is basically a list of examples for you guys to go off of. They're completely made up and they don't follow a story line so bare with me. I'll do an example of each scene. First I'll do a bad one, analyse it, and tell you why it's bad. and then, ill show you a good example. I'll prolly give a little detail before starting the examples though.

1) an example of a badly written fight scene

Person A is trying to kill Person B, Person B is trying to get away. Setting: a bathroom

I'm pushed against the wall roughly as A grabs a shampoo bottle and lifts it up. They bring their hand down to try and hit me with it, but I use my arm to block the hit. They drop the bottle to the floor. It hits the ground with a thud. They take me by the neck and toss me against the toilet, I let out a groan. I get to my feet and grab the shower curtain and tug it off the shower. I wrap it around A's neck.

this scene, is too slow. you need to have this going fast. it needs to seem very rapid so that we not only see each detail, but also help it feel real to the readers.

A good example: 

I'm pushed roughly against the wall and a pain shoots up my spine. A grabs a shampoo bottle. I'm quick to bring my hand up and block a hit they try to throw at me. The bottle drops to the floor and before I have time to react, they have me by the neck and they toss me against the toilet. I let out a strangled groan. Pain fills up in my back, bruises already starting to form. I grab the shower curtain and pull it to me. It pops off and I quickly rise to my feet. I wrap it tightly around A's neck.

see the difference isn't really what's happening, but more so of how i describe everything, and how fast i describe it. with shorter sentences in a rapid pace, it's much easier to understand. and it gives you the correct tension.

2) an example of a badly written kiss scene

Person A kisses Person B (they are both madly in love with each other but have not confessed), their childhood best friend

A looks into my eyes for a moment before they lean down to kiss me passionately. I'm caught off guard for a moment before I kiss back. We pull away a moment later for air.

alright first of all, THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NO EMOTION. there needs to be emotion in this kiss scene. there needs to show some type of relief, happiness, passion. this example shows none of that. there's nothing. It just feels empty, like a vacant hallway.

your readers have been waiting, anticipating this moment, dont make it so brief, give your readers what they came for. (if your genre is romance of course)

and, second of all, i hate when inexperienced writers write this, when you kiss someone, you eventually start breathing again. you cant hold your breath for the entire time (or youll just suffocate) so pulling away 'for air' makes it sound so fake and made up (even though it is) make it seem real. 

a good example:

A looks into my eyes intently. I want to back away from them because I know that all I'm feeling is unrequited, but at the same time, it's all I want. I look up into those beautiful blue eyes, they pull me in. My breathing is deep, I'm nervous and I just want kiss A. And I think they want it too, because they lean down slowly, and press their lips against mine. For a moment, I'm caught off guard but I slowly melt into the kiss. Their lips are warm and silky, and they pull me closer by my waist.

see, here we get more of an understanding of how they feel, what's going on, all that stuff. It seems much more real than just a two sentence kiss. those kinds of kisses are just not interesting to read. it gives your readers no relief or happiness.

do you guys want more of these? if so, which ones? and was this helpful??