Alright, deep breath, we can do this.

When I happily declared that I was done, Emma refused blankly to let me go next door in my state. She whipped out all of her tools and started doing my hair and makeup.

"At least look like you made an effort."

"But I did make an effort," I frowned just as she clicked her tongue because she was in the middle of doing my contour.

"What I mean is your appearance," she explained. She was silent for a while as she kept on doing her work but after what felt like forever, she spoke once again, this time in quieter voice, "Because maybe it's the last time."

My lips pressed into a thin line and when I looked down on my hands, they were shaking. The high of planning finally settled down and was now replaced with this anxiety tumbling in my stomach. In Adam's perspective, I haven't been acting weird because I didn't want him to think that our last days together were bad memories.

She placed the brush on her dressing table and smiled at me from her reflection on the mirror, "Done."

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

She turned to me and shrugged, "I don't know the whole story but I think the way you're doing it is a lot better than what other people has done."

"Well here goes nothing," I exhaled loudly, standing up and turning to her.

Thank god I at least put on something decent before I came here.

When we came back downstairs, Aunt Janine was finally home and unsurprisingly, reading my manuscript. Her pencil as twirling between her fingers, her eyes rapidly skimming through the words printed on the paper.

While I just planned to smoothly go out and knock on Adam's door, she had other plans. She saw me gather my handiwork and she cleared her throat, stopping whatever momentum I gathered.

"You know, we usually submit a file before actually printing it," she said, removing her reading glasses and placing it down on the table, "Though I have a pretty good idea why you didn't."

"You think it's plausible?" I shot back.

I did it because one it goes through editing, there was a hundred percent chance that some aspects would change. As a writer getting published, it was inevitable. But because I printed it out, it meant that whatever I wrote there, I wanted all of it to stay.

Okay, do the copyediting where you fix my grammar and sentence flow but every single scene should stay.

Even the top authors could rarely demand that.

"I think you know for a fact that it isn't," she replied, "But I'm sure your mother could convince your editors for you."

Oh right, my mother doesn't even know that I finished the book.

"Now you can go," she laughed to lighten my mood, taking what I did and placing it in my waiting hands, "Good luck."

"You think I'm doing the right thing?" I fired the same question I asked her daughter earlier.

The mother and daughter duo shared a quick glance and Aunt Janine flashed me a motherly smile, "You don't owe anyone a relationship, but do I think you owe him an explanation so just make sure to get your point across clearly."

I tried to reciprocate with a smile but all I managed was a forced one. With the pages clutched in my grip, I went out of their apartment and walked a few steps until I was in front of Adam's. Closing my eyes and preparing myself to drill his expression into my memory, I lifted a fist to knock on his door.

"I was about to call you," he grinned the second he opened the door, "Vance invited us to another party, a good way to start the weekend."

Everything started with a party and just when I was about to end it, another one arrived.

"Can we talk first?"

From my solemn tone, his happy disposition quickly slipped off of his features, "What's wrong?"

Us. Actually, me.

I walked past him and slowly settled myself down on his couch, keeping my face neutral but inviting at the same time. He closed the door, still with that inquisitive look, before he made his way next to me.

"I had Emma do a little something," I said, carefully handing him my work. It was the pages torn from the sketchbook sewed together. What took me long wasn't exactly the putting it back together, but to write again on every single page.

I had Emma occupy only half of the page so I could still add my own personal touch to it.

On the very front was just two words, Dear Adam.

He turned to the next page and froze for a moment when he saw the beauty that was Emma's drawing of him. She truly had a beautiful talent and every day I wished that she would stop feeling bad for choosing it instead of finding love in writing.

Yes, our family was so involved in the publishing world, but how can't she see how absolutely breathtaking her works are? Whether she chooses a brush or a pencil, she just lose herself and the results were mesmerizing.

But going back to this, she had managed to draw an image of him when we were in the airplane. The first time I met him, full of doubts and a hundred thoughts running through my head. I was on the verge of giving up and on that moment he sparked the conversation with me was something I would eternally be grateful.

I chose the scene where he told me he loved Heart. Back then, I didn't know who his best friend, all I knew was that all of his affections were hers and the heartbreak, still so fresh on that day, was written all over his face.

"I love her actually," he stated without a hint of hesitation, "But she's in her own big world now and she deserves someone who can follow through with it, not some guy who will leave her because he lives a whole different life."

His features looked far from peaceful, in fact, he looked defeated. I remember how he couldn't even look me in the eye when he said his confession. I mean, he was turned to me but his gaze probably on my forehead or my nose because there wasn't any eye contact. That little detail was what made the picture whole and I was amazed how Emma managed to capture it.

That excerpt was taken straight from my manuscript. I did this to all of the pages, there was a line taken straight from the book that was written in blue ink, then underneath in pink, was my message to him.

You, till this day, have no idea how much you saved me when you sat next to me on that plane. You managed to take away any nervousness and replaced it with this vigor. I have a confession, when you told me about Heart on that day – which I had no idea who she was back the – I was ready to interrogate you because I thought I found my next inspiration. But I thought to myself, that wasn't my story to tell, but it was mine to hear.

He was quiet and it was probably better since I already had a speech ready inside my head. If he did talk, it might fly out of mind so it was better that he was just silently absorbing this.

"So how's the writing?" he asked, forking another bite of lasagna into his mouth.

"I was off to a bad start but now I think that I'm going towards the right direction."

"Is that so?" he replied, settling his elbow on the box, "And what made you say that?"

Using the same words he used on me earlier, I muttered, "I just have this feeling."

Page two was taken on our first meal together. It was when we unexpectedly meet right in the lobby of this very apartment complex. He brought me into his place when it was empty aside from his moving boxes, which made into his makeshift furniture.

There was playfulness in his smile, his fork tightly in his grip while his other hand settled on top of the box. One thing I adored during that time was his curiousness, while I was trying to get to know him, he was trying to figure me out. He just knew how to get the conversation flowing, to touch the right subjects.

Something that I couldn't see from him anymore.

When I asked you if I was going to like Heart, you said yes. Of course, I was doubtful of your straight answer so I questioned you how could you know and you threw that last line towards me. Now here's another confession – all I saw was you when I threw the words back to you. Because I met you, because of everybody who I could possibly be enjoying lasagna in an empty apartment with, it was you. You were the reason why I had a feeling that everything was going towards the right the direction, and I guess I was right, just as you were about Heart.

The next one was the worst of all. It was the first time I felt betrayed – the frat party. The very thing that ignited this whole thing. While I wouldn't consider it a whirlwind romance, because trust me, this was tame compared to a lot of other people's relationships, but it wasn't smooth sailing as well.

If it never occurred, this wouldn't be happening right now.

Next was an image of pure guilt and regret. Emma accurately got it down on paper, how even the way his shoulders were tensed and his phone was still clutched in his hand midair. It burned me like someone threw boiling water towards my way.

"I only did this to stop you from pestering me," he chuckled lightheartedly towards the phone, effectively making my heart sink, "I'm going to take her home. You take care over there."

He outright stated that he invited me not because he wanted my company or whatnot, but because Heart told him to. I was just a pawn in this messed up game he wanted to play. And you know what? I should have been angry and threw a fit right there and then, I had every right to do so.

But I was so mortified that I couldn't do anything.

Unlike the first two, he actually lifted his gaze from the paper to look at me. While I did express how furious I was, what he never knew was the melancholy that spiraled within me. That was the point in time when I was the most insecure about myself.

I masked that sadness with anger. If he only knew how much it felt like he ripped out my heart and wrung it in front of my very eyes. So my next move back then was to rip out the pages that reminded me of him.

Instead of saying anything, I gestured for him to continue on reading.

This was something you probably wanted to forget. Sorry, but it's part of who we are. While it may come to a surprise to you, being angry wasn't my first thought. I don't want you to feel bad though because what bloomed after this was my favorite memory of us – the twilight sky. I chose only a limited amount of scenes because I didn't want to push Emma, but know that when you pulled me to the rooftop and all I could see the was your back tugging me along, it was when I first thought of liking you.

But this was also when I first learned that I would always play second fiddle to Heart Valentine.

The next one was what melted my heart because it was such a precious scene. At the same time, it was a bitter reminder that that was our first and last true moment of happy romance. The ones that followed always had someone poking their nose in.

Clenching my fist, I didn't know if I should blame it with the constant throbbing of my head because of my exhaustion or because a thousand things were occupying my mind that all logical thoughts turned into a blur.

But I bent down and pressed my lips against his.

Our first kiss and when I acted so impulsively that it was laughable now, but incredibly embarrassing during that time.

His expression was surely something that a surprise. The adrenaline made everything feel so vivid, how his lips parted into a gape and how his eyes were wide in shock. However, I asked Emma to make sure his eyebrows were slightly furrowed because I remember that in the midst of all that disbelief, there was confusion with it.

This doesn't need a long message except for this one: This was when I knew I was yours.

And finally, the last portrait and to be honest, if I gave Emma more time, I would have asked her for more than four but with only a week, I could only bother her for so much.

He kneeled in front of me, cupping my face in his strong hands and taking a good look at my face.

Warm.

Taken backstage of Heart's concert when I started blabbing to Axel and when I first said my hesitations out loud. But now as I looked back on it, I realized something so wrong – I should have stopped here.

Correction, we should have stopped there.

His features were plastered with concern, so many worries in his handsome face. And I was the cause of it. While it did make me weak in the knees, I couldn't even say it to him what was causing my distress. Still, even with all that, that drawing just radiated with the same warmth he wrapped me in that made me so sorry to let go.

I have one wish for you and I know it wouldn't be easy, but please hear me out at least. Don't stop caring for me as I will never for you. You give me that sense of comfort and while I would love to hold on tightly to that, we both know it isn't for the best.

He turned the page over, expecting another one but when there was none, panic started to fill his eyes because he could obviously read the tension. Plus, that last message was the least comforting one of all.

"You could have just told me that you forgot Valentine's day," I spoke, filling the air with a kind of sound after we just sat there looking at the drawings, "I already knew you did when I came here and all you could gush about was Heart's birthday."

"If this is about the fourteenth then I can..." he started but I cut him off before he could finish the sentence by raising a hand to stop him.

Please, just let me say this before I break down.

"I've been jealous of Heart for so many times and I never said a word to you because I knew which side you would take," I said sadly and he flinched because he knew it was true, "But I would never ever make you choose between us and besides, I have no right because she has been in your life for far longer than I have been."

I turned away from him, opting to look ahead because I couldn't handle his reaction.

"I know she's different and she would always have a special place in your heart, but even if you say that you've moved on, I couldn't help it," little by little, I was finally voicing these thoughts out and each word made me feel lighter, "Meg said to me, just because you've moved on, doesn't necessarily mean you're ready to love again or enter a relationship."

God, who knew that in the end, I would be quoting Meg?

"And that goes both ways," I finished.

I couldn't hold him accountable for everything. I was at fault too because I allowed myself to get swayed when I knew Gracie was right when she accused me that I still loved Justin. The fact that he was the person I sought out whenever Adam and I had problems was just a telltale sign.

My heart still very much belonged to him while Adam's belonged to his best friend.

"So what are you trying to say?" he muttered, a little broken.

I reached out and took his hands, bring them to my lips to softly kiss his knuckles, "Adam Nicholas, you've been the best thing to happen to me here and I will forever be thankful."

And so I willed myself to finally look him the eyes, to face that sorrow in them, and say one hard apology, "I'm sorry."

Because that was our goodbye.

To be honest, we were silent after I said my last line and while I knew it was a lot to take in, I was mentally begging him to say something because I couldn't take it. If he was going to argue with me, then go ahead. If he wanted to express that he's okay, then say it.

But don't make sit there in agony, trying to read your mind.

In the end, all the words he thought I deserved was, "You can go now."

And he was right, that was all that I deserved.

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I warned you guys that you will be frustrated and there will be tears. This isn't the end yet though. We still have a few more chapters so hold on tight.

Question: Do you think Adam and Sienna should remain friends?

Sorry this was a bit later. Hope you guys are still keeping safe. See you next chapter!