I blinked at the laptop screen, watching a couple argue for the umpteenth time since the movie started. I couldn't keep track how many times I've rolled my eyes and I was sure Meg shared the same sentiments.

Although we understood that this was the least interesting movie we could watch, I think it was a given that we should watch a romantic movie with an awful plot just for kicks on this wonderful day.

Because while neither of us were actually single, we were dateless for Valentine's day.

"Still don't get why you're not out with Adam," she sighed, continuously picking up pieces of popcorn from the bowl, "I mean, it's good for me since I don't have to spend this day alone but is there anything wrong between you two?"

So finally we were having this conversation.

When I arrived the other day asking her if she would rather go to the cinema or just stay in the dorm to watch a movie, I knew she was already curious. Especially after I appeared so giddy after our shopping trip.

Although she did a fantastic job of holding off her questions, I knew she was itching to ask and admittedly, I was also on the verge of spilling everything because I just wanted to talk to somebody about it.

Meg was far more subdued compared to Julia when it came to gossip so I shouldn't really be surprised it took her this long to initiate it.

"Nothing's wrong," I murmured my reply, my eyes still on the screen as if I was still paying attention to the film, "In fact, everything's perfectly normal."

"Which is something that does not interest you," she pointed out, "So what happened?"

"I just rather be here than to spend a dinner or whatever with him worrying about his best friend's birthday," I told her, reaching forward to pause the movie so I could turn to her, "And not even a single word from him except the customary good morning text."

She was silent right after and I instantly figured out that she was holding back. Meg always had an opinion, something I was annoyed at times but more frequent than not, I was quite grateful for.

She didn't look at me, but only stared at the paused video. It was a scene wherein the horrible actress was sobbing, badly if I may add, while the actor just stared at her at this awkward stance.

I was sure Miss Hollywood's Princess would never be in a scene like that. She was perfect and that was why I thought to myself that I could never compete with her, no matter how much Adam will say that he treats us differently.

"I moved on from my ex and I don't even talk to him aside the group chats," I shook my head at the thought, "And yet he talks to her every single day but anytime I feel jealous, I'll feel guilty because he assured me so many times that he had moved on as well."

The last time I had a one-on-one conversation with Justin was on the New Year's Eve party. After that, all our talks had been with our other friends. Though I'd admit there were time wherein I was so tempted to just call him up, especially when I was having problems with Adam, but I didn't because it wouldn't be fair to all three of us.

But that was because he was my ex so of course there would be a barrier and I'd say Adam would have every right to be upset when I do so.

It was different between him and Heart though, because they've been friends their entire lives and even though they did fall for each other at some point, neither of them acted upon it and still remained in this platonic friendship.

So it stripped me off of the right to be jealous. If they lasted this long without any romantic relationships between them, I could never interfere with this solid friendship that they have built.

"This is going to be a hard pill to swallow," she muttered quietly and I knew that the long pause that followed was her contemplating her next words. Whatever it was, I was sure that I wouldn't like it, "But just because you've moved on, doesn't necessarily mean you're ready to love again or even enter a relationship."

Ding ding ding, I was right – I didn't like it.

And the main reason? She had a point.

Heck, even at the back of mind I thought about it. Not for me, but for Adam. Heart, I'm afraid, will always be his one and only.

While I was just a passing phase.

Wasn't it just convenient for the both of us? He was the first guy I was with like this ever since that horrible break up and I was the girl who still stuck with him even though he was still so close to the girl he liked before.

Scratch that, loved.

And he still loved her. Maybe not in the way before but he still held this impenetrable affection for her.

"It's okay though," I whispered, "It's not like I ever planned this would last."

"You keep talking him down for loving someone else," she spoke with a raised brow, "But even I can see that you love somebody else as well."

Just like what Gracie pointed out before. While I do like Adam, I still loved Justin. That was why I kept holding myself back, because I was going to be a hypocrite if ever I was going to get mad at him.

"I know."

Maybe she expected that I would deny everything so her eyebrows shot up in shock when I did the exact opposite.

That was the end of our conversation, a bland stop if I may say so, because somebody knocked gently on the door and poked her head inside, "Sienna, your boyfriend is downstairs."

Because of the number of times he came here for me and because I was still seen often with him, the other ladies thought that he was my boyfriend. While not entirely wrong, they weren't right as well.

"Thank you," I shot her a small smile pushing myself up to my feet, "I'll be back."

"No you won't," she quipped, a sarcastic smirk on her lips, "If I were you, go change into that lingerie first."

I frowned and I tried to shake off what she was implying, "Meg..."

She shot up and headed straight to my closet, opening a bunch of drawers until she found the right one. She threw to me the one she and Julia got for me and then started flipping through the hangers to build an appropriate outfit.

"I'm not going out with him!"

She looked over her shoulder towards me, an unamused expression being shot my way, "Then what? Say to him that you'd prefer to spend Valentine's day as a single woman instead?"

She pulled out a dress and a pair of tights, placing it on my bed, "If you're going to play this stupid game then play it well."

With those piercing words, she left the room with a hard slam on the door. The lace, so flimsy, felt heavy in my hands and her small speech just rendered me mute. It was cruel, but the truth was intertwined with it.

What kind of game was Adam and I playing?

All I knew was that this was less likely to end in something good.

I dressed up with the clothes she picked out in the end because I'd rather be prepared since I don't think she was going to be in the mood to continue that horrible movie. Grabbing the coat hanging on my bed post, I let it dangle on my arm as I headed downstairs.

My heart sank when I saw him, a bouquet in his hands as he looked deep in thought. I paused just before I got down from the last step, willing myself to calm down. I had to be ready, I had to act normal.

With one sharp inhale, I convinced myself to approach him.

When I was a few inches away from his figure, he looked up to see me. It took him a few seconds before he actually acknowledged my presence. He flashed me a smile and presented the flowers, "You thought that I would forget?"

You did actually. Don't pretend that you've known all this time. The least you could have done if you actually knew was either talk to Julia and Meg to make sure I wasn't going out. However, Julia made no mention for me to stay in the dorm and Meg was down to do whatever, whether it was to watch a movie here or out. She never specifically told me she wanted to be in the dorm.

"Lucky you that I didn't go out," I said jokingly yet I was already entering my passive-aggressive phase. Still, I took the bouquet with a grateful smile, "So you got anything planned?"

"Do you mind walking back to the apartment?" he questioned though he already knew the answer to that.

I took his offered arm and started to make our way out. I should be glad and thankful that he actually went out of his way to do this for me, but I couldn't because this was just a blatant slap to my face that I wasn't his priority.

Adam was kind, so kind that it was hard to be upset with him.

Was it shallow to say that I wasn't going to be satisfied with just a dinner in his apartment? While I do appreciate whatever effort, it just doesn't feel anything special or different from the usual times we hang out.

As we ventured through the trees, the world so dark around us, my brain demanded me to remember this moment, my heart was telling me to be careful, and my whole system just trying to be assured. I knew how this was going to end, how it was going to be so painful that I was sure tears would be heavily involved.

In that very second, I thought to myself that I didn't want a game. I wanted genuine smiles and that floating feeling of falling in love. I didn't want to be surrounded by doubt and stopping myself from being jealous just because I think that I have no right to be. It shouldn't be like this. It should be alright for me to be envious from time to time, I shouldn't be so guilty about it.

I shouldn't be in a situation wherein I couldn't even tell him that I wanted to celebrate Valentine's day with him. Actually, he was with me now so he shouldn't even forget in lieu to his best friend's birthday. I didn't want to be with someone who treated me as an afterthought, who surely attempted to string something that seemed romantic and planned last minute.

What happened to us?

The beginning stages were so beautiful. He ran and ignited whatever spirit that was on the brink of diminishing. There were goodbye kisses just mere seconds before I had to leave for the airport, there were tight embraces after spending a whole break apart with an argument between us, there were light moment wherein it was just the two of us trying to get to know each other.

But now? I couldn't even say out loud what I really felt.

"Could I ask you something and promise me you wouldn't get mad instantly," I breathed out, gripping his arm tighter to stop him from taking another step.

He glanced down to my face to see how serious I was and he nodded, releasing me so he could stand directly in front of me. He gestured for me to go on and with my hands wringing behind my back, I asked, "Is it alright if I call Justin, I just really want to talk to him about something?"

Like how to get myself out of this situation or was I being plain unreasonable?

Of course I asked Adam first. It was out of respect for my current relationship with him. Something I wished he reciprocated whenever he gushed about Heart to me.

He placed a cold hand against my cheek, a sort of reassurance that he was nowhere near bothered with my small inquiry, "It's alright, I trust you."

Was it foul play that I was running to my ex? I just needed advice, to be honest. Julia was too optimistic to see how soured I was feeling, Gracie would probably just curse at me again and give me a lengthy lecture before she could even help me, and you know what happened between Meg and I.

Besides, it was Justin who kept checking in with me to make sure I was still happy with Adam.

I gazed up to the night sky, watching the stars as they peeked through the crossing branches of the towering trees. It was a scene I have never been privileged to see before I came here. There was a man in front of me, his attention on me.

But that was only for tonight.

"Let's go," I said, looking back at his face.

He piqued my curiosity when instead of pressing his floor number on the elevator, he went straight to the penthouse. Through the glass windows, I could see the blanket on the ground a paper bag right on the middle.

He swiped his keycard and got us outside. Because of the elevated height, it was colder here than on the trek from the university so I hugged my coat tighter around my body. The wind whipped my hair around, causing me to curse myself for not even remembering to bring a hair tie with me.

It was either I keep my coat shut with my hands or I use them to tame my hair. Well, I already guessed that I looked ridiculous so I didn't bother with both, only crossing my arms and watching as Adam settled himself down on the blanket and patting the spot next to him.

"I thought about a candle but I think the wind wouldn't let us do that," he told me before pulling out a flashlight from the paper bag and setting it down between us before turning it on, "So I improvised."

And you know what hurts more? I find him completely adorable and he still holds my affection.

"Can we skip the food, I'm still rather full," I muttered just as he was about to reach into the bag again, "I just want to enjoy my time with you."

Because right now, I don't know what to do or how this would end.

But he nodded, pushing the flashlight slightly away and scooting closer to me. I smiled softly, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes.

Hoping, wishing, and praying that this would last.

-------------------------

Well, I did mention some heartbreak will happen. But not everything can be a fairytale, every relationship goes through its rough patches.

Question: Your turn to ask me a question! It can range from something related to WST, my other stories, publishing your book, wattpad, schooling, or literally anything.

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