The delicious smell of bacon woke me up and I stretched in my bed. After The mistletoe kiss last night with Ayden, I disappeared into my room when we got home. Nate asked if I was okay and I just told him I was tired. Which I was. That kiss shouldn't have happened and I knew I needed to talk to Ayden about it. I just wasn't looking forward to it.

I dragged myself from my bed and did my usual morning routine. I changed into some yoga clothes before I brushed my hair and put it up in a clip. 

I went to Nate's room and peaked inside. He was still sleeping; just like I thought. He was definitely not the early bird type. Not unless there was a woman involved. By my guess, it was barely seven in the morning.

The delicious aroma of breakfast got stronger as I walked into the kitchen. Ayden, thankfully, was fully clothed with a black t-shirt and matching basketball shorts. For a second, I was thankful that he was wearing a shirt. I assumed it would be easier to talk to him about the kiss if he had clothes on. Now that I'm looking at him, not so much. My eyes watched his shoulders as he stirred the eggs with his tattooed arm. 

"Are you just going to stand there?" He asked without turning around. 

I closed my eyes tight. Fuck. "How did you know I was here?" I questioned as I walked into the kitchen and leaned my hip against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest.

His lips twisted in a half smile, but he kept his eyes on the eggs. "I'm special forces, remember? Not many people can sneak up on me." 

Okay, he had a point. Nate was the same way. Once, when Nate was on leave a few years back, I thought it would be funny to try and jump on his bed when he was asleep to wake him up. Let's just say, I learned my lesson. "Very true." 

There was an awkward silence between us while he continued to flip the bacon and he added cheese to the eggs. After a few more stirs, he turned the burner off and turned towards me. His eyes met mine and he leaned back, resting his hands on the sink behind him. "I'm assuming you want to talk about last night." 

"You would assume correctly."

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a long breath. "I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intention." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It kind of felt like we had some chemistry." His eyes bored into mine. "Unless I misread the signals." 

Okay, I was supposed to be the psychic one. As much as I wanted to deny what he said and pretend there wasn't an attraction on my end, I couldn't do that. I needed to be honest. Besides, he seemed like a human lie detector anyway.

"You didn't misread it. And you don't have to apologize. It's just--" I tried to hold his stare, but it was too dangerously easy to get lost in his eyes. "My brother and I only have each other. We lost our parents five years ago, and we've always had this rule not to date each other's friends. No matter what." 

He was quiet for a moment. "What if he wouldn't mind?" 

I sucked in a breath. Okay, that surprised me. I was not expecting that. "What do you mean?" 

He held his hands out in front of him. "You say you and your brother have this arrangement. I get that. But what if it didn't bother him that there was something between us?" 

I knew where he was going with this now, and unfortunately, it didn't make a difference. "Even if he didn't mind it, I wouldn't risk it, Ayden. That's the whole point. If you and I dated and something happened, it could cause problems between Nate and I." I glanced away because I needed a minute to think.

I was never really an emotional person, so why was I suddenly feeling a deep ache in my chest. I pushed my emotions back and put a determined look on my face. "Nate and I are the only family we have. I can't risk it, Ayden. No matter what we do or don't feel. It's not something I'm willing to gamble with." 

At first I thought he was going to continue arguing with me on that. But he didn't. Instead, he stepped towards me and held out his hand. 

I looked at his hand and frowned. "What's that?" 

He gave me a teasing smile. "An olive branch." 

I returned his smile when he repeated the same words I said to him outside of his room. I placed my hand in his. "Friends?" 

"Friends," he agreed. 

"What smells so good?" Nate's voice came booming from the hallway. Ayden and I backed away from each other as my brother entered the kitchen. One thing Nate was always on time for was food. 

"Ayden made breakfast for us," I answered while I grabbed some plates from the cabinet. 

Nate walked over to the stove and tasted a piece of bacon. "Damn, Ayden. I can't wait to see what you cook for Christmas dinner." 

"You and I both," I added. We all fixed our plates and sat around the breakfast bar. Nate dug in immediately while I took my time and buttered some toast. I could feel Ayden watching me and I looked up at him. Even though we agreed to just be friends, whatever passed between us seemed to suggest otherwise. 

"So, you kissed him," Harper stated as she threw back another Vodka-soda. 

I scoffed and ordered another shot of tequila. "No, he kissed me, actually." 

"Lanie..."

"Harper," I countered. 

She looked at me with the same expression she had when she caught me stuffing my bra in the seventh grade. "Fine," I admitted. "He kissed me and I didn't stop it."

She stirred her straw in her drink. "How was it?" 

"Does it matter?" What kind of question was that? It was one I had no interest in answering. Not that I needed to answer it anyway. Harper could see right through me. 

Harper scoffed. "That good, huh?" 

"What was good?" Danielle asked as she rejoined us at the table. 

I waved her question away and Harper decided it was worth sharing. "Lanie kissed Ayden." 

I dropped my head in my hands and Danielle nearly choked on her drink. "You kissed Ayden? Your brother's Army friend? I thought you guys had rules against stuff like that." 

I ignored her and, once again, Harper opened her mouth. "Don't bother Danielle," she laughed, "she's not talking. She will just say that he kissed her."

I slammed my hands on the table. "He did! He kissed me!"

"But you didn't stop it," Harper quipped.

Harper took a sip from her drink when Danielle asked, "How was it?" 

"Yes, Lanie, please tell us how it was." 

I looked at both of them and couldn't bite back my smile anymore. "It was really good. Like, time-stopping, good." I leaned back in my chair. "I never felt that with Adam or any other guy." 

Harper took a bite of her salad. "That's how you know it's real, Lanie. It's what I feel with Jackson." 

"And it's what I feel with Ryan," Danielle added. 

A breath of air escaped me and I shook my head. "Wow, did either of you picture our lives like this a year ago?" 

We all laughed at the irony of the situation. A year ago, I was still dealing with my Adam breakup, Harper was unhappily dating Ryan, and Danielle was...a free spirit. If someone tried to tell us a year ago that this would be our lives, we wouldn't have believed it. I still couldn't believe it. 

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Danielle asked. "You've always stayed away from Nate's friends. I mean, you've never even given them the time of day, let alone kissed them before." 

"That's exactly what I'm going to do. I talked to Ayden this morning. I explained to him that Nate and I have a close relationship and I won't do anything to risk causing a rift between us." I picked at the fries on my plate without eating them. "It doesn't matter what I do or don't feel for Ayden. Nate is the only family I have." 

Silence filled the table before Harper blurted, "You should have at least slept with him." 

"Harper!" Danielle laughed and I rolled my eyes. 

"How would that be a good thing?" I asked. Oh, I'm sure it would have been a great thing, but it wouldn't help my other issues. 

Harper finished her drink and sat her cup down. "Lanie, it's been a long time since you've been with someone."

"Thanks, Harper. Why don't you say that a little louder. I don't think the guy in the back heard you."

Danielle snickered and Harper continued, "Well, it's true. Lately you've been a little..."

"What?" I frowned. "A little what?" When Harper remained silent, I looked to Danielle. 

She shrugged a shoulder. "Nothing. You're just a little...tense. Strung out." 

I ran my hand through my hair. I knew they were right and it was disturbing. I really should try to blow off some steam. Maybe find a guy I can blow off some steam with. "I'll get a pedicure then. Or a massage." 

Harper gave me a look that said I should be institutionalized. "Yeah, like that's what you need."

As soon as the words left Harper's mouth, I knew what was going to happen. These two were going to make jokes like always. 

Danielle tried to keep a straight face when she added, "Harper, leave her alone. Maybe a massage would help." 

"Thank you, Danielle." 

"If by massage she means a few good headboard-slamming-orgasms." 

I dropped my forehead on the table as my two best friends continued to tease me. The sad part was...they were completely right.