Ayden
SAWYER

"Drink this, Nate," I ordered my best friend. He's been extremely annoying and trying to save all of the water for me, when he was the one who needed it most.

Nate groaned and coughed before he opened his mouth. I tilted the bottle and poured as much water into his mouth as he could take. He swallowed and held up his hand to let me know he had enough.

"We need to do something. We aren't going to last much longer like this," I said to him.

I've been bandaging and cleaning his wound for, what I could only guess, has been a week or so. I've gone out everyday looking for more food and water. We were basically in the middle of the fucking desert. I knew our only chance was for me to start going out a little further than I have been . Given the severity of Nate's injury, I wasn't comfortable leaving him alone for that long. 

Yes, I was able to stop him from bleeding out, but all of my medical school training was telling me that he had an infection. And it was only going to get worse before he turns septic. Once that happened, there wasn't much anyone could do for him. 

"I told you to go without me," Nate grumbled. "You never listen to me."

I huffed at him. "Yeah, right. How do you think its going to go if I show up back home without you? Lanie would be devastated."

He coughed a little and I hated the sound of it. "Maybe. But we both know that if you stay out here with me, she's going to lose both of us. You need to be there for that baby, Ayden. And Lanie. She needs you."

"She needs us. I'm not leaving you here. So stop whining about it."

There was no way in hell I was leaving Nate behind. I needed to figure out a way to signal a chopper or something. And if I was able to signal someone, there was a chance it could be the enemy who found us. When we first got stranded out here, I was hoping that our team was going to be able to find us within a day or two. I was not expecting this. When Nate had woken up that first day, he said he spoke to our unit and told them what happened. Unfortunately, the phone died before they could get a good signal on our location. 

I tried to use his cellphone, but the damn thing had no service. Then it died. Everything was fucking dying. Including the two of us, if I didn't think of a way to get us out of here. Nate and I barely had any food left, let alone water. If he didn't die from his injury, he was going to die of starvation and dehydration.

I ran my hands over my face as I thought of Lanie. God, she must be terrified. I tried so hard to think of a way to contact her. It was useless. She's been invading my mind and my thoughts; and it was probably the main thing keeping me going. I needed to get back to her. I needed to get both Nate and I back to her and the baby. I tried picturing what she would look like when the baby started to grow and her stomach would expand. It brought a smile to my face every time. 

I could see her lying beside me while I talked to the baby. Or feeling the baby kick. That's what I really wanted. I wanted to feel our baby kick. I never saw myself as a dad. Not until Lanie handed me that black and white ultrasound picture. It felt like a part of my life just came together; and I owed it all to Lanie. 

I thought about one of the mornings we were in bed together when I was visiting for her birthday...

"Tell me a secret," Lanie whispered as she snuggled up close to me in the bed.

I stroked her back as she laid her head on my chest. I felt her play with the dog tags that I wore around my neck. God, I loved it when she did that.

"A secret, huh? What kind of secret?"

Her little laugh vibrated through my chest. "Any secret. Something no one else knows."

"Hmm. Well, no one knows how much I love it when you wake me up in the middle of the night to make love."  I caught the scent of her lavender shampoo and I inhaled deeply. 

Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew that her cheeks were probably beat red right now at my statement. 

"Ayden...Come on. Tell me something real.

"Something real..." I stared at the ceiling of her bedroom as I tried to gather whatever strength I had. No one else knew what I was about to tell her. And it wasn't the best story. It was shameful and embarrassing...and I had no idea if it would make her see me differently. 

"I went looking for my birth father when I was in college."

I knew I surprised her when I felt her hand stop playing with my dog tags. She didn't look up at me and that surprised me a little. It was as if she knew I couldn't face her when I told her this story.

Her voice was low and soothing. Now that I thought about it her voice seemed to always make me stronger somehow. "What happened?"

"I found my birth father in a prison in New Jersey. He's serving a life sentence for vehicular manslaughter. He was on every drug known to man at the time." I absently stroked her hair before I continued. I was afraid if I stopped touching her, I would disappear inside myself like I have every time I thought about this. "I never wanted to find him. I never thought about looking for him or my mother."

I exhaled a deep breath. "I had just graduated college and everyone was there with their families. I had no one. So, I got curious., you know?" 

"Did you go see him?"

I shook my head. "No. Not when I found out who he was. I tried to find my birth mother after that. Unfortunately, I found out she died during childbirth."

Lanie sat up to lean on her elbow. "Ayden, I'm so sorry."

My eyes met hers. What shocked me most, was the fact that there wasn't pity in her eyes. There was love. It was love and concern. There was no judgement. "I don't know if she would have raised me or not, but I was so disgusted that I was related to someone who could do what my dad did."

She frowned as she processed my words. "Ayden, you aren't your father. He isn't your dad. He's a man who made it possible for you to be born." She bit her lip and smiled. "To meet me. For us to fall in love and start a family. You are such a good man, Ayden Sawyer. Don't ever think differently. You made yourself into the man you are today."

When I didn't say anything, she kissed me and placed my hand over her womb. "We have a little baby in here that is going to have two amazing parents."

I laughed as I stroked her skin. "Yeah, and a pissed off uncle when he finds out."

Lanie giggled before she looked at me hopefully. "I don't know. I have a feeling Nate won't be as pissed as we think." 

Nate's painful groan pulled me back from my daydreams. He had his hand resting on his wound and I got up to check on him. 

"You good?" I asked even though I knew he was anything but. 

"Yeah," he breathed and gave me a classic Nate smile. "I'm good." 

I moved his hand and lifted the gauze. Dammit. His wound was getting worse and worse. If the infection got into his blood, it was over. I started digging in my med kit again. It was a lost cause. I nearly used everything I had. The only thing left was the defibrillator. I already shocked his heart once, and I didn't want to do it again. 

"Ayden?" 

"Yeah," I answered a little out of breath. The sun felt more brutal than it usually did. Considering it has been beating down on us for days, we probably be dead if I hadn't found shade.

"Do you think it's going to be a boy-- or a girl?" 

I frowned and looked over at him. "What?"

He peeled his eyes open. "The baby. Boy or girl?" 

Shit. I didn't want to talk about that. Over the past couple days, he kept bringing up all of this depressing 'goodbye' and 'if I die' stuff.  I kept telling him I wasn't having it. I made it clear I wasn't leaving him here alone and that I would get us both to safety. 

"Ayden, answer me," he said when I remained silent. 

Even in the midst of all this bullshit, I found myself smiling. "When I think about it, I feel like it's a boy. I don't know why." Deep down, I just hoped the baby was healthy. But I liked the idea of having a son.

I looked over to Nate who was watching me with a grin of his own. "Yeah? Same here." He shifted his body and winced at the pain. "You know, if it is a boy, he needs to have Nathan somewhere in his name." 

We both laughed and I got to my feet. I walked over to him and handed him the water again. "Sure, but only if you survive this." I frowned and looked to the right when I heard something. I had no idea if it was friend or foe. I armed myself before I grabbed a makeshift cover to hide Nate. 

"Stay quiet. I'll be right back," I ordered as I threw it over his body. 

I hoped to God this was help coming to rescue us. Because if it wasn't, there wasn't enough medication or bullets in the world to save us and get us home.