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17| Insomnia

"So, that whole battery thing was crazy, huh?"

I choked on my drink when I heard Nate's question. I finally got to spend some time with Nate and we came to a local Café.

His expression was concerned as he started patting me on the back. "Whoa, you okay?"

No. "Yes," I answered with a rough voice. "Drink went down the wrong pipe." I cleared my throat a few times before I answered his original question. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting my battery to die. I replaced it not that long ago." I was also not expecting to have sex with Nate's best friend.

He sucked his teeth and leaned back in his chair. "It's winter time, little sis. Sometimes it can really fuck up your car." He cracked his knuckles. "Ayden didn't give you a hard time did he?"

What was this, an interrogation? No, I reminded myself. He's just being a brother. Breathe, Lanie. Breathe. "Not at all. He's a gentlemen."

Oh, yes he was. After our night of sex that left me extremely satisfied, we ended up falling asleep together. This time, Ayden was still in the bed when I woke up. On the way home after we finally got a battery, we had another talk about our situation. We both agreed to stay friends and make sure no one knew about this. Especially my overprotective brother.

"Good," Nate said as he lightly punched his hand. "I would have beat his ass."

I laughed at that. "I'm sure you would have." There was no doubt about that. Nate took pride in being a big brother. If anyone ever messed with me, he would wipe the floor with them. When that whole thing happened with Adam, it took a lot of begging from me to keep Nate at bay. Adam probably would have ended up in the ICU, and Nate would have been discharged if assault charges were filed.

He wiped his face with a napkin before he kept his eyes on me. I took a bite of my Cuban sandwich and gave him an annoyed look. "What? You're staring."

"Sorry," he laughed. "I actually wanted to ask you something."

Oh, God. "Please tell me you aren't proposing to Jules!" I think I would die. Literally die.

His eyebrow went up so high, they nearly disappeared in his hair. "What? No! Hell no!"

"Oh, thank God," I said with a relieved sigh. "I would have killed you."

He laughed before he leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. "It's about tomorrow." When he saw the blank look on my face he added, "It's New Year's Eve."

"Aw, come one! Do we have to?" Just what I freaking needed.

"L, I'm leaving in two days. It'll be nice to bring in the New Year with our friends. We don't have to go out. We can have the party at our house. You can invite Danielle, Ryan, Harper, and Jackson, too."

When he looked at me with those puppy dog eyes, I rolled mine. "Fine. We can have a party. But you're in charge of getting the flood this time. No cooking. Just order something."

"You're the boss," he said with a cheesy grin.

Yeah, right.

I continued to toss and turn in my bed. I squinted my eyes when I glanced at the clock. 3:25am. After Nate and I finished at the Café, we went and saw a movie before returning home. After that, the three of us just hung out. It was nice, actually. We watched some TV and ordered pizza. Then we went to bed. My bed that I've been laying in for hours trying to get to sleep.

It appears that when I'm alone in the darkness of my bedroom, that I remember the night before with Ayden. Vividly. I remembered one part of that night that would stay with me forever.

"Let's take a shower," Ayden whispered against my skin as he kissed my neck.

We were still laying in the bed catching our breaths from the latest sex-session. We only had a few more hours until sunrise and knowing that made me feel hollow. "A shower?" I asked.

"Mhm. You and me. Together." Another gently suck at my neck, followed by a tug on my earlobe with his teeth.

Panic shot through me as soon as he mentioned a shower. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He looked up at me with surprise and understanding. "You've never showered with anyone, have you?"

I felt my cheeks heat and turned my head to the side in an attempt to hide it. Goddammit. How come when he was around, he was the intuitive one? "What? Of course I have."

"Goddess, look at me." His voice was soft and firm at the same time. Like a gentle command. I did as he asked. "You said you've showered with someone before. Truth or lie?"

I didn't need to say anything. The answer was written all over my face.

When I remained silent, he spoke again, "I haven't either."

"Really?" I asked and my eyes widened. That was surprising. The man was sex on a stick. I figured he would have a lengthy history of ex-girlfriends. Including shower sex. Or...showering in general. With women.

"Yes. I figured this could be a first for both of us. Especially since we're running out of time." His eyes were searching my expression for an answer.

"Let's do it." I breathed.

He smiled at me. A huge smile that was seared into my memory. He took me by the hand and led me into the bathroom.

I threw back the covers and pushed the memory from my mind. I couldn't sleep like this. I needed to talk to someone. And there was only one person. I got in my car and drove straight to Harper's apartment. I knew she was sleeping, but I needed her.

Once I got there, I tried knocking lightly. When no one answered, I knocked harder. Still no one. I continued banging on the door, praying that she would answer. "Harper! Open up!"

The door swung open to show a very angry, and also very naked, Jackson. I could tell from the heaviness of his eyelids and the disheveled mess of his hair, that he had been in a deep sleep. "What the bloody hell is your problem?"

My emotions were all over the place and I could barely think, let alone speak. "I need to talk to Harper."

He studied my face for a moment and I saw his expression soften a little. He turned away and started muttering something along the lines of "who fucking knocks on someone's fucking door at 4am...."

I waited impatiently outside of their door, shifting back and forth uncomfortably on my feet. This was just...too much. I was so overwhelmed by everything. I should have called Harper and talked to her about this already, but I didn't have a chance. I was either with Ayden or Nate most of the time since it happened.

After what felt like an hour, the door opened and Harper was tightening the sash to her robe. She had a concerned look on her face. "Lanie? What is it?"

I pushed my way into her apartment and started pacing around her living room. "I did something bad, Harp."

She closed the door before walking over to me. "How bad? Like Jim Novack under the bleachers bad? Or getting caught streaking across campus bad?"

I stopped pacing and my eyes met hers. "Worse."

"Tell me," she urged as she stepped closer to me. I eyed her bedroom door, afraid Jackson might hear, and she waved it away. "Don't worry. He's already back to sleep."

I fisted my hands repeatedly. "I had sex with Ayden."

Her expression was blank as she blinked several times. "You had sex with Ayden? When? Where?"

"Two days ago. I took him to Rainbow Falls and when we left, my car battery was dead. So, we stayed in a hotel and...one thing led to another."

Harper's face remained stoic before a laugh escaped her. She covered her mouth when she started laughing harder.

"Harper! This isn't funny. What am I going to do?"

She sobered before replying. "Sorry. Um, well...how was it?"

My body involuntarily shivered at the memory that was still very fresh in my mind. "It was..."

Harper's eyes widened as she caught on to what I was saying. "Really? Damn. So, why is this bad?"

I ran my hands over my face. "Nate. I can't do this to him. Ayden was completely off limits. I was supposed to just take him out and show him a good time around the city."

"Well, I think you definitely showed him a good time," she quipped.

"Harp, I can't be involved with him. I can't do that to Nathan. We both agreed to keep it between us and to remain friends. But I can't stop thinking about it. About him."

"When does he leave?" She asked.

"Two days."

Harper was quiet for a few minutes before she answered. "Sounds like you already know what to do, Lanie. Try to keep your distance until then."

"You make that sound so easy. He fucking lives with us for Christ's sake." That reminded me. "Oh, by the way. We are having a New Year's Eve party at my place tomorrow. Bring Jackson, Danielle, and Ryan."

"Okay, cool. We'll be there."

I pointed my finger at her. "I need you to make sure I don't get too drunk. With my inhibitions lowered, I'll probably have sex with him on the fucking couch or something."

Harper tried to stifle a laugh. "You got it."

"Thank you, Harper."

"Anytime," she said that she pulled me in for a hug.

I started walking to the door before something else occurred to me. "Please, don't tell the Greek God about this."

"Oh, the Greek God heard everything. You sneaky little vixen."

My head snapped in Jackson's direction. He had on a pair of basketball shorts as he leaned against the doorframe. Of course, he had a shit eating grin on his face.

I looked back to Harper. She raised her hands defensively. "Okay, I swear I thought he was asleep."

I closed my eyes tight as my head fell back in defeat. Fuck.

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