This was written for a contest by Alygirl2336 and the prompt was to write a story beginning with the words "Once I Was" and keep it under 500 words.
Word count: 388

Once, I was happy. Warmth flooded my limbs when I heard her laugh, and her smile was contagious. She was brighter and warmer than the sun in all metaphorical ways possible. Her warmth melted through my exterior straight into my heart.

I should have known it was too good to be true. I should have known I wasn't meant for love, and she wasn't meant for loving me. She deserved better.

I remember a time when she would have laughed at me for saying that. "What do you mean, I deserve better?" she would have said, "I'm the one who doesn't deserve a girl like you." I would have tried to muster a smile at that, and she would have kissed me.

Her mouth was one of the only things that could shut up my insecurities.

Once, I felt normal. Her confidence was contagious. I didn't think I needed to be ashamed of the way I felt about her. She made me feel like I wasn't weak, or a failure, or a moral degenerate who would bring about the downfall of society.

Evidently, not everyone agreed.

Once, I felt sane. I felt like my mind was under control. There was no more breakdown constantly hovering over my head like a storm that could break at any moment. With her around, my mind slowed to a normal pace. I didn't have time for the war my brain was insistent on waging against my body when all I could think of was her.

When they took her away, that all changed. My brain resumed its frantic pace, rushing through and ignoring basic tasks so that it could spend every minute possible worrying- worrying about what they had done to her, what they would do to me, what they would do, could do, and had done to us.

The legitimate fears are always the hardest to chase away. I learned that the hard way.

Once, I was sad. Now I just feel numb. I'm too tired to cry.

Once, I was in love, and sometimes I think I still am. Whether I was in love with her or the way she made me feel isn't important- we had something together, something real.

Once, I was in love. And then, in the space between a shout and a whisper, she was gone.