Ah, now we get to the only chapter 75% of Wattpad cares about. (Just kidding. If you've read this far, you probably care more about writing than most people here.) I wanted to discuss this subject in more detail because romance is a little different than writing platonic relationships. I'm not going to discuss sex scenes in this chapter, or at all, however. I don't write sex scenes as a matter of conscience (if you didn't know, I'm a Christian), and there are plenty of guides out there to help you if you're into that. This chapter is about writing a romantic relationship well.

So, how do you do it? Luckily, this is a skill I've been able to improve on over the years. This isn't to brag, but it is to say I can help newbies writing romance a bit, since I've had to do lots of revision and learning from mistakes. Let's look at some principles of romance that don't apply to platonic relationships (although the tips from the last chapter are still important to keep in mind).

1. Sexual attraction.

"But Joye, you just said you don't write sex scenes! How can you help me?"

Sexual attraction does not equal showing sex on the page. Putting aside the ethical question of showing sex in graphic detail to pleasure your readers (not that all sex scenes are intended this way), you don't need to show sex in order to write sexual attraction well. Plus, inserting a sex scene into your book means you have to mark it mature per Wattpad's guidelines, limiting your audience to ages 17+. You can easily show the steam between partners with a passionate kiss or a fade-to-black scene - and always keep in mind the age group to whom you're writing as well.

{Update 9/20/20: SapphireAlena has informed me that sex scenes don't always require a mature rating (I was referring to outdated guidelines). Explicit sex scenes, which is what I was really referring to, must render it mature. A few scenes that don't describe genitals, are there to further the plot, and are sparse in the book are fine. I would agree with this - I'm not completely anti-sex scenes, but I do have ethical qualms with sex scenes being there to titillate the reader, especially if the readers are teenagers (most of Wattpad). Just to clarify so I'm not spreading any fake news.}

Sexual attraction, in a non-raunchy way, is finding your partner beautiful or handsome - that's the simplest way to put it. A general rule I learned from discussions with my parents is that men are attracted to what they see (long, flowing hair, curves, dark eyes, hips), while women are attracted to what they feel (hard muscle, smooth, warm skin, his gentle heartbeat as he massages her back). The sex of your point-of-view character will influence which details are emphasized. 

There's also an element of sensory detail one has to include. Different smells can turn people on or off, as well as the sound of their lover's voice, or the way they're dressed. Be careful to use the right diction here, however. I can't tell you how many romances I've read where the author described French-kissing as "tongues battling for dominance". Not only is that image just hilarious rather than sexy, it also sounds...gross. This is a place where one has to read a lot, practice a lot, and get beta-readers who will let them know when a sexy kiss reads to them like a sloppy spit-exchange.

2. Chemistry.

People in a relationship need to complement each other. This goes for all relationships, but it's most important when you're looking at people who have romantic attraction involved. There's something different when sexual attraction comes into play that makes having enough differences between characters extra-important.

Masculinity and femininity are complementing chemistry at the simplest level. I'm not saying your characters have to fit into these gender roles, though sometimes they do (such as Amir and Soraya in The Kite Runner). Opposing gender roles in relationships are some of the cutest things to read about to me, though. In my book The Last Qymaili, Qymaen's more feminine, emotional outlook on life combines with Ronderu's hard, masculine rationality to create a non-conventional and unique relationship.

Aside from masculinity vs. femininity levels, you can also look at things like emotional intelligence, lawful vs. neutral vs. chaotic tendencies, senses of humor (although your characters' senses of humor shouldn't be morbidly different), love languages, extroversion vs. introversion, messiness vs. organization, thinking vs. feeling, and even hobbies to a certain extent. Brainstorm and see what differences your favorite romances in film or books have. You might find the characters you ship are more different than you thought!

If you want to create relationship drama, think about how the characters' values, desires, backgrounds, and motives differ. In real life, you generally want to get with someone who shares your political and religious values (this is why a lot of interfaith marriages fail). But in a story, these important differences can be the sources of believable tension, and may even veer into star-crossed love stories if they're wide enough. For example, Anakin Skywalker's commitment to his wife in Star Wars clashes with his commitment to the Jedi Order, creating a conflict of interest that eventually leads to her tragic death.

3. Buildup.

If you're writing an already-established romance, this is something you may want to save for the folds of backstory. But if your characters meet on the page, you can't have them immediately wanting to stay with each other forever. Love at first sight doesn't exist, no matter how many people claim it does. Attraction can, but usually it takes a bit of time for the rubber to meet the road and for your characters to truly love one another in a healthy way.

So how do you do this? Just like in any relationship, the key is unraveling things s-l-o-w-l-y. Don't have your characters smooching if they just met, if the intent is to build up a deep relationship. Maybe one day when they're talking, the boy's hand reaches up ever-so-slightly to touch his friend's hair. And then she blushes, thinking about how his shirt smells like rosemary and how tingly she feels inside - but then he waves goodbye and goes back to his house, and she's left confused.

Readers like being on the edge of their seats. They like holding their breath for that prized first kiss. Generally, this is a sign the relationship is now official. Save it for when the relationship is ready to bloom and blossom - don't have it happen too soon!

4. Remember the non-sexual aspects.

During the first draft of Starwalker, I was tasked with writing Micah and Angella's relationship from when they were engaged to when the book ends. This is tougher than it seems, since I had basically nothing to go off of in the source material and had to develop their characters more for my own uses. Due partially to beginning in the wrong place of their relationship and partially not observing Angella's character closely enough, the relationship was a huge flop in the first draft, and felt forced. I eventually gave up writing it and ignored the scenes that had to do with it heavily.

Healthy romances are more than just sexual attraction, as I learned the hard way. To make sure the characters' hearts are in the relationship, open your journal and write the names of both partners on the page. Then write down everything non-physical that each character loves about their partner. If you don't know what to write, ask them something like, "What do you love about [insert partner's name]?" Then fill the page with their answer. This will ensure the root of their love is devotion and care, not sex.

5. Relationships are confusing.

Sexual attraction and relationships are some of the most confusing areas of life. Remember this when you're writing, and pay attention to your characters' emotions. Most people question their feelings for someone when they first start out. Most have strong emotions about those feelings (anger, shame, surprise, or self-hatred). Explore those emotions in the story - this is one way to build up tension and create growth in a character.

Also, remember the backstories of the characters involved. A person of color in a racially-charged culture will seriously consider whether it's a good idea to ask the fair-skinned, fair-haired girl on a date. Someone who grew up with their closest friend until - oh no, she has feelings for him, might be worried that her emotions might ruin their friendship. And backstories will affect how much someone will struggle with their feelings (someone who was shamed for being emotional will wrestle with doubt and insecurity over their crushes).

Remember that relationships don't always go well at first. Conflict - between the characters and in the plot - will usually complicate things between them. And sometimes relationships end, too. Pay attention to where the story leads, and if your characters calling it quits makes the most sense, that's what should happen.

A detour (within my detour) on love triangles...

Love triangles aren't something I'm completely against. Not only do they happen in real life, they can be an interesting way to show tension between characters. But there are a few things you should keep in mind so your love triangle turns out more like the one in books 6-10 of Wings of Fire and less like the one in Avatar: Legend of Korra. Keeping in mind the guiding principle of making your characters likable enough to root for them in their relationships, here are some solid ways to solve a love triangle:

- The "hypotenuse" of the love triangle doesn't get with either of the "legs". (See Many Waters by Madeleine L'Engle)

- The hypotenuse gets with one of the legs, and the other leg either moves on or finds another partner. (See Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland)

- One of the legs decides they aren't a good fit for the hypotenuse and stops pursuing them. (See anyone who's got a brain when they have a silly crush.)

- One of the legs dies, and the hypotenuse gets with the other one. (Please be careful. I'm going to talk about killing off characters soon. This is not one to be used lightly.)

- The leg the hypotenuse gets with becomes a bad partner, and they decide to part ways in the interest of healing and moving on. The hypotenuse gets with the other leg as a result. (See the Avatar: The Last Airbender comics.)

Here are some ways of how not to solve a love triangle:

- Creating useless conflict in a relationship, until the hypotenuse breaks up with one leg and gets with another. (This is frustrating to readers and makes the characters unlikable.)

- The hypotenuse breaks up and gets together with both legs over and over and over again, especially without regard to character motivation. (This feels cheap and overused to readers, not to mention it makes the hypotenuse seem unlikable.)

- The hypotenuse cheats on one of the legs with the other. (Nobody likes a cheating dirtbag, so don't use this if you want a compelling love triangle.)

What are other bad endings to love triangles you've seen? Let me know! In the next chapter, I'll be discussing dialogue and how you can use it to create compelling relationships between your characters.