don't have much to say about this part oof. but this has officially surpassed 10,000 words total!! i've never written so much of just one thing in such a short time aha

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warnings: none, i think?
word count: 1875
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Part Five: Meltdown

when Monika and Arthur arrived back into her office for his appointment, she planned to simply not say anything about what went down tuesday night and continue with the session as usually. unfortunately, Arthur brought it up the second she shut the door.

"you remember tuesday night, right, Monika?" he blurted, not even giving her a chance to sit down.

"first of all, you can't call me Monika. i'm your doctor, it's Dr. Vandertramp. second of all, i was drunk, and when i'm drunk, i don't think straight." Monika began, her voice a bit cold. "and, regardless of whether i remember what happened or not, you are not to bring our interactions up. yes, i know i kissed you, but you need to forget about it, okay?"

"so it meant nothing to you?"

"i was intoxicated, Arthur."

"that doesn't answer my question."

"what it meant to me doesn't mean anything. from now on our relationship has to be strictly doctor and patient, nothing else. and if that's going to be too hard for you i'd be happy to transfer you to one of my colleagues-"

"no, it's fine."

Monika smiled slightly, but Arthur frowned. or maybe he had been frowning this whole time and Monika had just now noticed. she felt a little bad, almost feeling as if she'd just broken his heart. maybe she had.

"anyways, Dr. Mercado transferred you to me because he thought you could benefit from medication." she started, leaning back in her chair, crossing her legs. "what do you think about that?"

"er, well, i don't know." Arthur muttered. "i guess if they would help me stop feeling so bad all the time, that would be nice."

"i see. and what is it that makes you feel bad? is there something specific?"

"everything makes me feel bad."

"everything? there's nothing at all good in your life?"

Arthur was silent for a moment before finally responding.

"well, every once in a while i feel happy. but most of the time i-" he was cut off by a sudden burst of loud, pained laughter. Monika said nothing, assuming it was the pseudobulbar affect Dr. Mercado had mentioned.

"i'm sorry." he whimpered, his laughing finally ceasing.

"it's okay." she replied, a sympathetic frown grazing her lips. "you don't need to apologize for something you can't control, at least not with me."

his eyes met hers, and she could see a sort of sadness in him she clearly didn't notice during their prior interaction outside the pub. for just a second, her heart broke for him; it was becoming painfully obvious just how beaten down and broken he was.

the remainder of the session seemed to drone on. Arthur didn't talk much- his responses to Monika's questions were short and generally straight to the point. she found it a bit strange he just accepted that there wasn't anything romantic between them, but brushed it off to him not liking confrontation, or something.

"when will i see you again?" he asked when the appointment was nearing its end.

"well, what times work for you?" Monika replied. he paused for a moment.

"anytime is fine."

"well, for now i'll schedule you for wednesday's at four, does that work?"

"sure."

"alright then. next week, we can talk more about medication, okay?"

Monika stood up, and Arthur followed suit. she opened the door, and he shuffled out without a word.

"have a nice day, Arthur!" she called, almost feeling a little bad for being as gruff with him as she was earlier. he turned around and smiled before continuing back towards the exit.

"Monika! glad i caught you." she turned to see Evelyn making her way over to her.

Evelyn was one of the child therapists that worked at social services, as well as Monika's ex girlfriend. the two had only dated for a few months, in secret, before deciding they were better off as friends. she was one of the only people in the office who genuinely liked Monika, or at least that's how it felt sometimes.

"hey, Evelyn." Monika smiled, turning to face her. "did you need something?"

"oh, not really! but, some of us were planning on going to happy hour at Tino's after work tonight, and we'd really like it if you'd come." she explained with a grin.

"oh, that would be lovely! what time?"

"it starts at 5:30."

"well... i'll see if i can make it. who all is coming?"

"oh, me, obviously, Cara, Patrick, and i think Mark said he would try and stop by."

Monika stiffened a bit upon hearing Mark might be there. she knew if she went there was a chance she'd have too much to drink, like always, but didn't want to be anywhere near Mark while intoxicated. but Evelyn seemed to really want her to be there, and she would have felt awful turning her down.

"i'll try and stop by, okay?"

"awesome! i'll see you then, Monika!"

with a wave, Evelyn retreated to her office, her curly blonde hair bouncing a bit as she walked. Monika sighed, going to retrieve her next patient.

the end of the work day rolled around, and Monika, although still unsure of what the right thing to do was, made her way down the road to Tino's. it was a flashy, fun sort of place, and she couldn't help but feel like her cardigan and pencil skirt were a little too formal.

the music inside the bar area was loud and upbeat. nobody was dancing, though, and there weren't many people at the bar at all, given it was a thursday evening.

Cara, who Monika didn't know well, Evelyn, and Mark were already there when she arrived.

"hey, you made it!" Evelyn chimed, smiling widely. "i'm so glad you could come."

"yeah, i don't do stuff like this that often." Monika lied. she took a seat at the corner of the bar, which placed her between Evelyn and Cara.

"we were just talking about how we all don't like Patrick." Cara said. Evelyn rolled her eyes.

"i thought you said Patrick was coming?" Monika replied, flagging down the bartender. she ordered a pina colada, knowing that shots of whiskey or tequila like she might normally order were most certainly out of the question.

"he said he was coming, but i highly doubt he will." Cara began. "that's what he does. he always says he'll come to things but then he never shows up and makes up some stupid excuse as to why he wasn't there, like his dog had a dentist appointment, or something stupid like that."

"i'll never understand why that bothers you so much." Evelyn sighed.

the bartender brought Monika's drink out, and from across the room, she saw Mark saunter into the bar. she sunk into herself a little, taking a long sip of her drink. maybe she'd get drunk tonight after all.

"scoot over." Mark chuckled, leaning over Evelyn. "i want to sit by Monika."

Evelyn obliged, but Monika couldn't blame her, she didn't know how weird Mark had always been around her. for a brief moment, she wondered if it would be different tonight, given that Mark had set her up on a date earlier that same day, but the thought quickly dissipated when Mark tried to pull her in for an awkward side hug.

"hey, could you not?" she scoffed, leaning to the side.

"calm down, it's just a hug, it's not like i'm raping you." Mark laughed. before Monika had the opportunity to dodge him again she wrapped her in uncomfortable embrace.

"don't be gross, Mark." Cara said.

"yeah, leave her alone. if she doesn't want to be hugged, you should respect that." Evelyn agreed.

"jeez, okay!" he rolled his eyes and sat down. "women, am i right?" he said to the bartender.

"i'm just here to take your order, sir."

Monika stared down at the counter, her mind taking her back to her meltdown in the lobby yesterday. was that why Mark was being so weird? was he still upset over how she'd snapped at him yesterday? it wouldn't have surprised her, he was awfully petty. she took another sip of her drink and glanced up at the clock behind the bar. it wasn't even six o'clock yet.

the evening dragged on. Monika talked to Evelyn and Cara a bit, but it was hard because Mark decided to butt in every ten seconds, and would go off about how 'boring' everyone was if they didn't talk for more than a minute or so. at 7, Monika decided it was best for her to go home.

"i'm gonna head out." she sighed, downing the last of her second drink. "see you guys tomorrow."

"aww, already?" Mark whined, grabbing her arm. "you should stay longer."

"no, i'm kind of tired. sorry." she mumbled, putting her coat on after hopping off her stool.

"well let me walk you home."

"i take the subway."

"let me walk you to the subway."

"Mark it's not even that dark. she'll be fine." Cara huffed, noticing the sour expression on Monika's face.

"well, it's rude to let a lady go home by herself!" he argued.

"no it's not!" Cara retorted.

while the two continued arguing, Monika slipped out, uttering a quick goodbye to Evelyn. she didn't make it more than two feet out the doors of the bar when she heard someone else exit behind her.

she turned around, and to her suprise, saw Arthur standing outside the doors, looking like a deer in headlights.

"did you follow me here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. he didn't answer, simply bowing his head with shame. that told Monika all she needed to know.

"listen, Arthur." she sighed. "i get that maybe you like you me. and i'm flattered, and i do think you're a sweet guy, but-"

"i wasn't going to follow you home, i only left when you did because i didn't trust that guy." Arthur blurted.

"who? Mark?"

"i don't know his name. the tall one, with the brown hair?"

"yeah, that's Mark. but, Arthur, you can't do stuff like that. you just... it just... it can't happen anymore. we need to have boundaries."

"but Monika, i-"

"no excuses, Arthur. we need to keep our relationship professional. i could get fired if i keep allowing you to do stuff like this."

she turned and continued down the sidewalk, unsure if she was angry at herself or Arthur.

"don't tell me you didn't feel anything when you kissed me." he called. she stopped.

"what?" Monika swiveled around, on the verge of a meltdown. she didn't know who the hell Arthur thought he was but he really knew how to press all her buttons.

"you heard me." his voice cracked when he spoke, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. "didn't you feel something? or am i just nothing to you now?"

"leave me alone, Arthur!" Monika shrieked. "when you're not coming to me for your therapy sessions, i don't want to see you, i don't want to speak to you, i don't want to think about you! please, god, i can't handle this right now!"

she hurried off, and this time, thankfully, Arthur didn't try to stop her.