this feels rushed but whatever.

anyways this is all flashback, which i'm only telling you since in the main document this entire story is in, this whole chunk is italicized to separate it and make it obvious that it's flashback, but since all the chunks are separated, i'm not italicizing the whole chunk here.

also this, again, wasn't proofread (at least not yet) so please alert me of any errors you spot!! i'd rather have someone else tell me than re-read it later and spot a typo and be all embarrassed lol

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word count: 2113
warnings: mentions/talks of suicide (it's kinda right in the beginning and doesn't come up again later but still), drinking, swearing
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Part Four: Past Midnight

it was a chilly tuesday evening. Arthur had been having an absolute shit day, and just couldn't take it anymore. the world had never been kind to him but today felt different.

he felt...lost. he felt strange and a bit unsure of himself, and was starting to question whether or not it was even worth it to even keep living. he could kill himself whenever he pleased, especially after Randall gave him that gun.

the only person who would miss him, if he did hypothetically throw himself off a bridge, or off one of gotham's many skyscrapers, was his mother. but even she would be fine without him in the long run.

but hell it was just so hard sometimes, to feel like he mattered, like his presence mattered. there was nobody in his corner to help him out when he needed it, not really. just thinking about how alone and insignificant was sometimes enough to make him cry, and he wasn't really a person who cried. 

Arthur found himself wandering into a nicer part of the city, not really realizing he had been wandering until he noticed he didn't really recognize any of his surroundings and couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. it was late now, probably past midnight. the streets were still as crowded as ever, regardless.

the buildings were less cluttered, less imposing here. Arthur looked up at the sky and could see the moon, and the faded glimmers of stars, almost obscured by the twinkling city lights, but not quite.

to his left, men in fancy suits and ladies in expensive heels exited a movie theatre, chatting about things only fancy people understood. Arthur subconsciously felt a bit insecure in their presence, feeling like his old jacket and worn shoes were going to become subject to laughter if one of them looked his way.

across the street was a pub, not very crowded, from the looks of it, but that was to be expected on a tuesday night. the large front windows revealed a cozy interior, and few lonely looking people sitting at the bar. one bartender was wiping down the counter, chatting mindlessly with a middle aged couple.

Arthur crossed the street, intrigued by a woman who appeared to be talking very animatedly to another bartender. he peered through the window, not really caring if he looked like a creep.

he couldn't hear their conversation, but the bartender kept pointing towards the door, and the woman kept making gestures with her hands, as if she was trying to talk with them, or just really fucking angry about something. nobody else at the bar payed attention to the two of them, nobody but Arthur, at least.

but a couple minutes later the woman seemed to give up with whatever she was doing, got off the barstool and stumbled over to the door, letting it slam behind her as she stepped onto the sidewalk.

Arthur didn't realize he was staring at her. she was pretty, with curly, honey brown hair, and a naive looking frown on her lips. her eyes seemed far away, but she stared back at Arthur, and he felt them pierce his soul.

"what are you looking at?" she slurred, glaring at him. she was drunk, he could see that now, and figured that was probably why she was kicked out of the pub.

"sorry." Arthur mumbled, looking down at his shoes.

"i'm not mad."

"what?"

"i'm not mad at you. there's no need to get mopey."

he looked up at her again and saw she had stepped a bit closer to him, her gaze less intense, yet still far away. she stuck her hand out for him to shake.

"i'm Monika. and for the record, i'm not drunk. i'm just a little tipsy."

"um, i'm Arthur." he shook her hand, which was surprisingly soft, despite being so cold. "and i never said you were drunk. don't worry about it."

she laughed. her breath smelled like vodka.

"my feet are killing me, these shoes hurt me so bad! i need to sit down, hold on." Monika sighed, walking a few paces over towards the entrance to an alley Arthur hadn't noticed before, sitting down on the pavement, leaning against the pub's brick wall, clearly not caring if she got her skirt dirty. she patted the ground next to her, inviting Arthur to sit.

not wanting to be rude, he sat beside her.

"did they kick you out of the bar?" he asked her after a few long moments. she laughed.

"yeah, but for no reason! he said i'd had too much to drink, and i needed to leave, but i told him he'd only given me two beers, and there was no way i was drunk, but he just wouldn't listen!" Monika replied, exasperated. "maybe he knew i drank some vodka at home before i came over here."

"why were you drinking so much?" Arthur questioned.

"i guess it's a long story. i have a reason, yes, but it would take some explaining, you know."

"it's fine if you don't want to tell me. i don't mind."

there was another silence, and it was now that Arthur really started to process how close he was sitting to this drunk lady he'd met, like, five freaking minutes ago. they were so close she could easily rest her head on his shoulder, and if she sat cross legged, their knees would surely graze eachother. he felt his heart jump into his throat, realizing how little effort it would take to touch her for just a second, and brush it off as an accident, even. he'd never been this close to a girl before.

"my fiancé left me a year ago today." Monika said, breaking the silence.

"huh?" Arthur turned to face her, and saw she was staring out at the street, watching the cars drive by.

"that's why i'm drinking so much. i don't normally do shit like this but i guess i'm just trying to ignore what's bothering me."

"it's been a year, hasn't it? you haven't moved on even a little bit?"

"oh, i have! i've had to." she shifted a bit, her arm brushing against Arthur's own for a brief moment. "he cheated on me, while i was trying to make enough money to support both of us and pay for the wedding. he didn't have a job, but claimed he was looking, but i was stupid enough to give him access to my bank account. i mean, why wouldn't i? we were engaged for fuck's sake! but i came home early one day and saw him and this other girl in our bed, and i just sorta lost it and told him to get out of the house. but then i was stupid enough to let him come back so we could 'talk things out.' i suppose maybe i just didn't want to have to call off the wedding."

"but you said you broke up?"

"yeah, he completely abandoned me! i thought we were fixing things, or at least trying to, but he had other ideas. i was still letting him stay at our apartment - my apartment, really - since he had nowhere else to go. but one day i came home from work and he was gone, and he took a shit ton of my things, too! he pretty much just robbed me of anything valuable, even the pearl necklace he knew was a gift from my mother after i graduated university, and just left a pitiful note that said 'things aren't working, sorry.' the bastard drained my bank account, too, took all 15,000 dollars in my savings, and everything else i had! but there was no way to prove i wasn't the one to withdraw it all, since it was all in my name. i'm still nearly broke because of him."

Monika sniffled, and Arthur noticed she was fighting back tears. maybe it was because she was drunk, but she snuggled a little closer to him, almost as if trusting him to be a shoulder to cry on, literally.

"i just can't even comprehend how he would just throw away the five years we spent together." she sighed. "but i guess maybe it's my own fault for trying to fix things. if i hadn't let him stay-"

"it's not your fault." Arthur interrupted, turning his head to stare into her eyes, which were filled to the brim with tears she was trying to blink away. he could tell she was an emotional drunk, but still felt bad for her. "he didn't deserve you, and it's not your fault he did what he did. shitty people are just shitty."

"you're probably right." she ran her fingers through her hair, leaning against Arthur, still content with practically cuddling him. he didn't mind; just hoped she wouldn't notice his heart beating a mile a minute due to their close proximity. he knew it was pathetic to be having his first real romantic encounter with a drunk stranger, but all he could think about was the way her hair brushed against his shoulder, her hands grazing his arm every so often, her eyes flitting to his face.

"you're not from this part of town, are you, Arthur?" Monika asked after a moment.

"how could you tell?" he replied.

"i walk down this street every day on my way to and from work. people who live around here have a certain... i don't know... aura to them." she continued. "it's weird. but you just seem different."

arthur laughed.

"it's not a joke! i'm being serious. people from this part of town have weird energy, weird vibes."

"you know that makes no sense, right?"

"yeah, i know."

there was another silence. someone passing by shot them a strange glance, which is to be expected when you're sitting on the sidewalk outside an alley like a homeless person.

"god, it's getting late. i should probably go home soon, i forgot i have work tomorrow." Monika groaned.

"oh. i guess it is late." Arthur shrugged. "where do you work?"

"i'm a psychiatrist. which is nice because it pays well, but sometimes i hate having to deal with crazy people all day."

"really?"

"well... i shouldn't put it like that. some of my patients are lovely, really. it's just tiring."

"i suppose there are worse jobs to have."

"you're right. anyways, what do you do for a living?"

"i'm a clown for hire, but i want to be a comedian."

"dude, that's rad! i, like, vibe with that."

"vibe with it?"

"yeah, you know. i vibe with it."

Monika smiled at him, and Arthur smiled back, despite not really understand what she meant. maybe he was just being delusional, like always, but for a moment he felt as if maybe she was just as enamored with him as we was her.

"this is going to sound totally crazy but i really, like, kinda want to kiss you right now." Monika giggled. "is that weird? like, can we-"

"i don't mind." Arthur replied before she could finish her sentence.

Monika leaned forward and placed her lips on his own, resting her hand atop his. for a moment he was unsure of what to do, having never kissed anyone before, but quickly figured it out and began to move his lips against hers. she smiled through the kiss, growing a bit more eager, and Arthur kissed her harder. after a minute or so, Monika pulled away, breathless.

"that was nice." she muttered, her cheeks tinted red.

"y-yeah." Arthur agreed, feeling like fireworks were going off everywhere in his entire body. he had just kissed a girl, and a pretty one, at that, for the first time and she didn't hate it, she didn't hate him. he was, to to say the least, ecstatic.

"i should get going." Monika sighed, standing up. Arthur stayed sitting. "i've got to get up early since, y'know, my job is something that actually matters."

Arthur nodded, frowning, almost feeling like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water on his head, a sort of reminder that good things don't happen to him, and when they do, they don't last. Monika was just another good thing that didn't last.

"anyways, i'll see you later, handsome." she blew him a kiss and turned the other direction, still drunk, and began her walk home.

Arthur watched her for a moment before standing up and heading home, or trying to find the direction home was, given he had no clue how he ended up in that part of town. as he walked, he laughed, a flurry of emotions swirling through him.