part three! i'm not super satisfied with this one, it seems very choppy, but i sort of need the plot to start moving forward so uh yeah lol

also this hasn't been proofread so please let me know if you spot any typos! :)

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word count: 2469
warnings: minor cursing (i don't think i dropped anything major like the f-bomb but please correct me if i'm wrong!)
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Part Three: Obligatory Apology

if Monika could have stayed home from work again that day, she would have. although she hadn't gone off on another alcohol binge the previous night, she still managed to feel shitty, mentally and physically. it had certainly been a strange couple of days, almost feeling as if meeting Arthur that one night had shaken up her life completely.

Arthur hadn't slipped her mind since she'd gotten home yesterday. sure, she'd thought about him the entire subway ride, but once that was over, she had more pressing matters to attend to, like the fact she just ditched work because Mark was being weird and was absolutely going to face consequences.

but a self indulged afternoon turned out to be good for her. the long nap Monika took eased her hangover significantly, and she'd had time to make a nice dinner for herself. things didn't seem as bad as they were. Mark had left her a few irritating voicemails,
though. how he obtained her home
phone number was beyond her, but he clearly felt the need to call her four
times just to say he was "worried about her."

this morning, though? god, it was impossible for Monika to get out of bed. she didn't want to go back to that awful building surrounded by awful people who probably wouldn't care if she was murdered on the way to work. well, Mark would care, but only because he wanted to get in her pants so badly and would be mildly annoyed at the idea that it wouldn't be possible anymore. well, only if he's not a coward, it wasn't. but today was going to be different, she kept telling herself. she wasn't going to let her day be ruined by anyone.

"i'm not going to have another shit day." Monika said to herself in the mirror as she straightened her hair. normally, it was a big, curly mess, and usually ended up looking more wavy than anything by the time she got to work, but straightening it made it look like less of a disaster, at the very least. "i only have to be there until six. i can make it through one day."

Monika forced a smile, unplugged her flat iron, and began applying her makeup. it was nothing much, a bit of eyeliner and mascara, a touch of blush on her cheeks, a dab of lipgloss. it wasn't because she cared what other people thought- it made her feel pretty, and on a day like today, feeling pretty made her feel just a little less awful.

the radio in the kitchen played an upbeat, catchy song. Monika swung her hips back and forth a bit, a smile grazing her lips. finishing in the bathroom, she strode into her bedroom, slipping a red cardigan on over her black camisole, smoothing her skirt and slipping on her heels. her pet goldfish, Spoons, watched her intently from his position atop her dresser as she posed in her full length mirror briefly, ensuring she looked acceptable.

"see you later, Spoons!" she said, giving him a pinch of fish food before hurrying out the door, leaving the radio on. she had never liked coming home to a quiet house, it unsettled her.

Monika's commute to work was rather short, thankfully. she hated how crowded the subway was in the mornings, but it was understandable - everyone had jobs of their own they had to get to, too. she distracted herself from the people around her by doodling in a composition notebook she'd stolen from the supply closet at work. her drawings weren't good, rather horrendous, she thought, and she hated that she still bothered with them, but it was better than being aware of the lingering gaze of the uptight woman besides her, or the way the old man across from her glanced at her chest a few times too many. thank god the subway ride wasn't long.

"good morning, Monika!" the receptionist, Nikki, smiled as Monika trudged into the office, stopping by reception to see if any papers had been left in her mailbox. "how was your day off?"

Monika cringed at the mention of her 'day off,' having hoped by some miracle nobody would bring it up. but knowing Mark, he'd told everyone all about how she ran away from him in the lobby.

"oh, you know," she shrugged, grabbing the two file folders sitting in her box. "not that exciting. i pretty much slept all afternoon."

"well, i'm glad you're well rested, sweetie." Monika couldn't help but smile at Nikki's words. she was the only person in the office she felt she could trust, and didn't get enough credit for being so goddamn nice to everyone. "oh, by the way, you've got a new patient scheduled today at one o'clock, a transfer from Dr. Justin Mercado over at the hospital. all his files are in that white folder."

"oh? um, great. would you be sure to remind me to call him during my break, then?"

"of course, dear."

Monika thanked Nikki and retreated to her office, still in the same state it was in when she'd left yesterday. she booted up her computer, a slow, clunky thing that barely worked, and began reading through the file Dr. Mercado had sent her.

there was a small note atop the stack of papers, written in red ink. Monika recognized Nikki's cute, curly handwriting, and assumed she was instructed to pass on the additional information to her, for lord forbid Dr. Mercado have to do anything himself. he and Monika had only met briefly once, for legal reasons after a patient he transferred to her killed himself, but he had a reputation for being a bit of a lazy ass.

"'Arthur Fleck is a bit of a wacko; i believe he needs a few medications.'" Monika read aloud, frowning at the word 'wacko.' she'd never really liked how some therapists labeled their patients things like 'crazy' 'wacko' or 'freak.' it was a more common occurance than you'd think.

Monika let out a sigh and shoved the note back into the folder, then placing it atop the still enormous stack of papers she really needed to go through. it was 7:47 now, and her first patient of the day wasn't supposed to show up until 8. Monika was never really sure what to do with herself during small moments of free time like this. there wasn't enough time to get any work done, but she still felt she should do something.

"maybe i'll grab a soda." she muttered to nobody, standing up and exiting her office, making her way into the break room that nobody really used.

it was a bleak little room with a small, cream colored table and a microwave near two large windows. an ancient vending machine and a hardly functioning refrigerator sat in the back. people only used the room to get snacks and drinks from the vending machine and store their lunch in the fridge. Monika couldn't remember the last time someone had actually sat down and eaten in there, everyone just took their food back to their offices.

she inserted a few coins into the slot of the machine and selected the button for diet pepsi. she knew that there wasn't anything healthier about drinking diet soda instead of the normal ones, but part of her was still convinced it was healthier, and would help her not gain weight.

"hey, good to see you back, Monika!" she turned around, hearing Mark's sarcastic voice from the doorway. she opened the can of soda and rolled her eyes.

"what, are you here to bother me about taking the afternoon off?" she scoffed.

"you didn't 'take the afternoon off' and you know it." Mark stepped closer, maybe a bit too close, and Monika frowned. "you just hate me, don't you? you hate me so much that just the thought of having to spend the rest of your lunch break with me makes you want to leave?"

"oh my god, Mark, you're delusional!" she huffed, heading for the door. "it was nothing personal. i just wasn't feeling good. now if you'll excuse me, i need to go get my patient. unlike you and the others who sit behind computers all day, i actually have to keep a schedule."

now that her mood had officially turned  sour, Monika was almost relieved she'd have to work all morning, and wouldn't be able to dwell on it. thankfully, all of the patients she had scheduled for the day were lovely, and therefore would be an easy workload. well, aside from her new patient, Arthur Fleck, who was still a wild card at this point.

her lunchbreak rolled around eventually, and she decided it would be better to get some more work done rather than taking a quick nap on the couch she had set out for her patients. her new patient's file was the most pressing matter, given she hadn't really had to chance to properly look over it.

most of the papers were pretty standard, containing basic information like his birthday and relationships with family members, as well as past diagnoses and medical history.

one thing that stuck out to her, however, was the mention of pseudobulbar affect amongst his diagnoses. Monika furrowed her brows, reading Dr. Mercado's (surprisingly neat) note on the file: "patient displays pathological and inappropriate laughter when stressed or upset."

for a brief moment her mind flashed back to Arthur from the pub, who she remembered from his very distinct laughter, which had seemed a bit out of place sometimes in hindsight, but quickly expelled any such thoughts from her mind. sure, the two shared the same first name, but there was no way they could be one in the same. Arthur from the pub seemed pretty normal, at least according to drunk Monika. Arthur Fleck, however, had so many diagnoses and mental illnesses Monika was almost nervous about seeing him in less than an hour.

a knock on the open door caught her attention, and Monika glanced up, seeing Mark leaning against the doorframe. she forced a smile and put away Arthur's file, mostly because she could get in a lot of trouble if anyone but her even caught a glimpse at his records without his written permission.

"hi, Mark." she flashed a small, albeit forced, smile. "can i help you?"

"um, i just wanted to apologize." he shrugged awkwardly.

"oh? for what, exactly? i can think of a few things you should apologize for."

"well, i'm sorry for coming off a little strong yesterday afternoon. and i'm sorry for taking it personally." there was a long silence. "so, are we good now?"

"yeah, i guess." Monika muttered, a bit confused. it wasn't like Mark to admit he did something wrong and she couldn't help but wonder if this apology was part of something bigger. "but what, if i may ask, made you decide to apologize to me?"

"oh, Evelyn said i should. she heard what i said to you this morning and chewed me out."

Monika smiled, a genuine smile this time, making a mental note to thank Evelyn, who was another therapist, for putting Mark in his place.

"you're single, right?" Mark asked suddenly.

"excuse me?" she scoffed.

"i just think you and my friend Fabian would be great together." Monika was silent. "i can set you up on a date this weekend if you'd like!"

"first of all, who is this guy? secondly, what makes you think i even want to date him, or anyone for that matter?"

"i just really think you'd get along!" Mark continued eagerly, "he's funny, and kinda sarcastic, like you! and he's french! you speak, french, right?"

"um, yeah? i studied abroad in paris for a year when i was like, 20, but..." Monika furrowed her brows, wondering where exactly Mark was attempting to go with this conversation. clearly he was wondering that too, given how he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"listen, he's really a sweet guy, okay?" Mark sighed, a pleading frown grazing his lips, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "he just got through a bad breakup, and i'm just trying to help him out, y'know? i think a date could help him get over his ex."

"fine. one date." Monika rolled her eyes. "but i'm doing this for your friend, not for you. now, would you please let me get to work? my break ends in like ten minutes."

"yes! okay! i'm leaving!" he laughed. "will next saturday work for you?"

"sure."

"perfect, i'll let him know! have fun working, Monika!"

over the next ten minutes, Monika managed to shovel her meager lunch consisting of somewhat soggy salad and stale saltine crackers, leave a voicemail for Dr. Mercado, and touch up her makeup. she smiled at herself in the reflection of her small mirror, feeling a little better than she had that morning. maybe it was because she was secretly a little glad she was going on a date saturday, or because she was feeling like she could handle things life threw at her, after all.

she just didn't know how wrong she was about to be.

Monika strode into the waiting room, a clipboard with an additional note from Dr. Mercado Nikki handed her on her way out pinned to the front.

"Arthur Fleck?" she called, reading over the note, which was just another quick rundown of his conditions: pseudobulbar affect, delusions and hallucinations, depression, the same standard stuff in all the other files she'd received.

she glanced up from the clipboard, her heart sinking when she saw the only person sitting in the waiting room was all too familiar, a person she really never thought she'd ever see again ever.

it was none other than Arthur from the bar. the same Arthur she'd kissed in her drunken state. the same Arthur she thought she'd forget about by the end of the week.

he looked equally shocked, and Monika noticed his eyes flit to the empty seat next to him, back up to her, back to the seat, back up to her, over and over, as if she had teleported from beside him up to the doorway.

they stared at each other in tense silence, as if they were both afraid to and Monika thanked whatever higher power existed that Nikki had stepped out for a moment and wasn't there to watch the whole exchange.

"Arthur Fleck?" Monika said again, cocking an eyebrow, sending him a look that said 'is this a fucking joke or is this real life.'

he nodded, not saying a word, and stood up, awkwardly shuffling towards her, head bowed.

"right this way." she led him down the hall, heart pounding in her chest, attempting to prepare herself for a very, very long appointment.