not even hiding the fact that this is a joker fanfic anymore lmao. this one is significantly longer than part one so um enjoy

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word count: 3110
warnings: swearing, smoking
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Part Two: Wacko

Arthur Fleck shifted in his seat a bit as his doctor shifted through his notes. he watched intently as he shuffled through the stack of papers, sighing occasionally.

"i'm referring you to a new therapist." Dr. Mercado sighed after a moment, rubbing his eyes, resting his elbows on his desk.

"why?" Arthur questioned, cocking his head to the side.

"it's nothing personal. i'm referring you to someone who can prescribe medications. i think they'd help you."

Arthur didn't reply.

"i'll be transferring your files over to Dr. Vandertramp. she's wonderful, really." Dr. Mercado continued. "she works for social services, too, so there won't be as many 'corporate regulations' or anything to deal with. just a bit of technical stuff, nothing you'll have to worry about."

"so, what, i'm just never going to see you again?" Arthur muttered, pursing his lips.

"er, well, you'll be seeing Dr. Vander-"

"so that's a yes then?"

Dr. Mercado let out a heavy sigh, his calm demeanor breaking for a moment. Arthur's left leg bounced as he awaited a response.

"i think you need some medication, Arthur." Dr. Mercado began, carefully articulating his words as not to offend the highly sensitive, easily upset man before him. "i can't say for sure what exactly would help, i don't deal with medicine, but i think something to help your mood swings would do you good. something to help cheer you up."

Arthur was silent for a few moments before he nodded.

"well, fine." he muttered, shifting a bit, staring out at the window behind Dr. Mercado.

"right then, so your first appointment with Dr. Vandertramp is scheduled for tomorrow at 1:00." Dr. Mercado said, scribbling some information on the back of a slip of paper, handing it to Arthur.

Arthur held the paper between two fingers, his eyes grazing over the writing a few times.

"Dr. Vandertramp - 1614 13th Avenue, room 502" was all that was written down, but oddly enough, the slip of paper seemed almost sacred to Arthur, like something he shouldn't lose.

"so, are we good?" Dr. Mercado said, glancing up at the clock.

"sure." Arthur stood up, pocketing the slip of paper. "nice knowing you, i guess."

"call me if you ever need anything, Arthur, okay?"

Arthur nodded, forcing a smile, still feeling a bit odd about the whole situation, heading for the door.

"fuckin' wacko's someone else's problem now."

he whipped his head around, unsure of whether or not Dr. Mercado had actually said anything. it didn't appear that he had, as he was already shoving papers into his filing cabinet, but Arthur was positive he heard something.

"what did you say?" he muttered, furrowing his brows.

"hm? oh, nothing!" Dr. Mercado chuckled. the slight flush of embarrassment in his cheeks told Arthur he absolutely had said what he'd heard. "have a nice day, Arthur!"

Arthur shut the door softly and hurried out of the building.

WACKO

the word itself hit him like a brick to the face- hard. he wasn't a wacko. was he? the pretty woman he'd met last night sure didn't think he was.

he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since they parted ways. she'd kissed him, nobody had ever kissed him before. yeah, it was pathetic, to have your first kiss at his age, but he'd always been a loner. girls never payed attention to him. hell, guys never payed attention to him, either. so it didn't really matter to him that the first girl he kissed was a drunk lady he'd bonded with on the street way past midnight.

he almost wished he'd followed her home, just so he'd know where he could find her again. she told him she walked past the pub they'd sat outside on the way to and from work every day, but what if he missed her? what if she didn't notice him? there was no way for Arthur to guarantee he'd ever see her again and he hated that.

Monika was her name. he'd been repeating it in his head all day, worried he'd forget it. Monika, Monika, Monika. beautiful Monika. sweet Monika. perfect Monika.

Arthur sighed and reached for the pack of cigarettes in the pocket of his jacket. the air was cold today, far colder than it had been all week. he wondered if he'd have to start dressing warmer.

pausing at a street corner, he reached for the slip of paper Dr. Mercado had given him. Dr. Vandertramp's office wasn't too far away from where he lived. 13th street was only a couple blocks away from his apartment on 7th avenue. it would definitely be nice to not have to take the subway to and from his appointments.

but he still had to take the subway today.

it was a bit crowded in the station, with a few small clusters of people milling about, along with a smattering of loners like himself, all waiting for the next train, all going somewhere. not necessarily important, but somewhere nonetheless. moments like these made Arthur doubt his own reality - doubt the significance of his life.

if all these people's lives mattered, why did his? surely they were more important than a loser like himself, with nothing to show for himself other than a few shattered dreams and a hopeless career as a party clown. if he didn't matter in anyone else's life, how could he tell if he even existed in anyone else's life?

Arthur shook his head tried to tell himself that Monika knew he existed, that she knew he was real, that he mattered in her life. but as the train screeched to a half at the subway station, and he filed onboard beside the others, he found it hard to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his mind, repeating the same words over and over.

what if she's not real, either?

the train was a bit crowded, but not uncomfortably so, and Arthur took a seat in the back, staring down at his dirty shoes. he'd had them forever; they were a christmas gift from his mother four or five years ago. he'd worn them frequently since then, and they were nearing the end of their life. but he couldn't really afford new shoes, so they'd have to do until they because unwearable.

the subway ride was short, and Arthur practically jumped to his feet when the train arrived at his stop. his eagerness to get off earned him a couple odd looks, but it surely wasn't the strangest thing anyone there had seen all day - this was Gotham City, after all.

the subway dropped him off very close to 13th street, so he decided to take a detour past the building his new therapist worked in. as he trudged towards the address on his precious slip of paper, he wondered what kind of person Dr. Vandertramp was. he hoped she'd be nicer than Dr. Mercado had been. sure, he had been nice enough, but Arthur always got the feeling he didn't really like him, could hardly stand to spend 50 minutes a week with him, thought he was a wacko.

a wacko.

"i'm not a wacko." Arthur mumbled to himself. just thinking about that word, that awful word, made his insides itch, made his mouth dry, made him want to choke on his own laughter. it was a funny thing, really, he'd been called a wacko so many times (among other things), but it never stopped hurting, never felt any better, never was something he could just let go.

he could only pray Dr. Vandertramp, whoever the hell she was, wouldn't think he was something so vile.

the building she worked in was tall and silver. the front doors were glass, and the main floor looked fancy, at least from where Arthur was standing, with marbled floors and gold elevator doors. he wondered if the whole building was social services, or if other people worked there too. he really couldn't tell.

there was a man standing outside the doors, appearing to be watching something, or someone, down the sidewalk. Arthur furrowed his brows, oddly fixtated on him. he seemed out of place, but he couldn't quite figure out why.

"god, she's such a fuckin' wacko." the man spat, shaking his head and turning back towards the doors.

"you shouldn't call people that." Arthur blurted, disliking hearing someone else be labeled a wacko almost as much as he hated being labeled one himself, immediately regretting saying anything after the man turned towards him, a sour expression on his face.

"mind your damn business." he scoffed before storming back into the building.

Arthur laughed, but that quickly spiraled into a coughing fit. embarrassed, he scurried off in the opposite direction, turning onto the street that would take him home.

"Happy? is that you?" his mother called out for him when he unlocked the door to the small apartment he shared with her.

"yeah, mom!" he responded, rolling his eyes a bit at her silly nickname. she was a pain sometimes, but he cared about her regardless.

"did you get the mail?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows as Arthur trudged to her bedside.

"yeah. just bills." he shrugged. she sighed.

"how was your day?"

"fine. i got referred to a new therapist."

"well, that's good. i never liked yours much anyways."

"he was fine. i don't think he liked me."

"who are you seeing now?"

"um, her name is Dr. Vandertramp. i'm seeing her tomorrow."

his mother yawned, her eyes watering with sleepiness.

"you look tired." Arthur said, sitting down at the foot of the bed.

"oh, i'm fine." she sighed. "will you make lunch?"

Arthur nodded and trudged into the kitchen, which was close enough he could still converse with his mother while he prepared sandwiches.

but the only bread they had had started to get moldy, and Arthur didn't want to have to try and actually cook something, being incredibly hungry himself. they had just enough food for dinner the rest of the week, and would have had enough for lunch too, if the goddamn bread hadn't gotten moldy.

there was enough for one sandwich; Arthur gave it to his mother. she needed it more than he did. he'd just have to buy more tomorrow.

the rest of the afternoon passed by slowly, as if the whole world was sleepy, and soon enough the sun had started to sink below the skyline, painting the city a dreamy hue of peach. it was only october, and hardly cold outside, but Arthur felt oddly warm and cozy, content with simply slouching on the couch for the remainder of the evening.

a loud crash outside shook him from his daze, jolting him upright. startled, he stood up and peered out the window, unable to see anything that could have caused the horribly loud noise.

"Artie? what was that?" his mother called from the bedroom.

"i don't know." Arthur sighed.

"it sounded like a car crash! will you go make sure everything's okay?"

"fine, fine. just a minute."

Arthur threw on his coat and forced his feet into his shoes, not bothering to untie and re-tie them. he figured he'd step outside, see what all the commotion was, and head back into the building. shouldn't have taken more than a few minutes, right?

a car had been driven off the road, crashing into a telephone pole outside the building, Arthur discovered. the driver was currently shouting at a pedestrian, a heated argument over god knows what happening between them.

"it's getting crazier out here, isn't it?" a voice caught Arthur's attention, and he turned to see Monika from the night before standing beside him.

"Monika! you're here!" he cried, smiling widely. "how'd you find me again? i thought you said to go back to the pub?"

"in all honesty, i was just passing through." she shrugged. Arthur didn't question why she'd be passing through the shittiest part of the city- all that mattered to him was being able to see her again. "i guess we're meant to keep running into eachother like this."

Arthur laughed, and she smiled, brushing a strand of her honey brown hair behind her ear. he was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to kiss her again.

"do you want to come inside?" he blurted. "i-i live here. you can meet my mom."

Monika blinked once, shaking her head ever so slightly, as if shooing away a daydream. Arthur recalled her doing so a few times the night before, beliving it was simply a quirk of hers.

"um, i actually have to get going." she frowned. "but we could get coffee tomorrow morning. maybe do brunch?"

"yes!" Arthur smiled widely. "i would really, really love that."

"perfect. we can go to holt's café. they've got great muffins."

"it's a date."

Monika smiled and bid him farewell, crossing the street and walking off. Arthur headed back upstairs to his mother, a wide grin on his face. Monika liked him. Monika wanted to get brunch with him. Monika thought he mattered unlike almost everyone else in  the city.

brunch the next day couldn't come quick enough for poor Arthur. he awoke at the crack of dawn, hardly able to contain his own excitement. or was it anxiety? he couldn't quite tell for sure.

"why are you so worked up, Happy?" his mother asked when he brought her a positively lavish breakfast of oatmeal and orange juice. he planned on leaving for brunch in about half an hour, but had been ready to leave the house since about 7:30.

"i've got a date today, mom." he explained, grinning. "we're getting brunch."

"well, you do look nice. but i thought you were seeing your new doctor today."

"well, i'll see her after the date. i'm not meeting Monika until 11."

"you should wear cologne. girls like cologne, you know."

Arthur laughed, and retreated to the living room. he glanced at his journal, still laying open on the table. he had written about Monika that morning, and the night before, and the night before that, too. she was all he'd thought about, primarily. was this what being in love felt like? he wouldn't know for sure.
he closed the journal and left the house.

to Arthur's own suprise, Monika was waiting for him at the café when he arrived. she was sitting at a small table near the back, holding a mug of coffee in her right hand as she read a book.

"i guess we're both early." Arthur chuckled, sitting across from her.

"i just didn't want to be late." she giggled, folding the corner of the page she was on, slipping the book into her purse. "you look really nice. i like that sweater."

"t-thanks!" Arthur chuckled. "i like it too. it's soft." his legs bounced with nerves, and he tried his best to still them, reminding himself it was just Monika and she actually, for some reason, seemed to like him.

their date went by smoothly. they each had a rather large muffin and a latte. she talked about work, telling Arthur about a difficult patient she'd seen the previous afternoon. he told a few jokes, and she laughed at all of them. she talked about her hometown. he talked about his mother. but then it was 12:30, and he knew he had to leave.

"you know, i should get going." he sighed.

"oh? how come?" Monika questioned, her mouth curving into a pouty frown. for a split second Arthur had a sudden urge to kiss her, but quickly expelled the thought from his mind.

"i, um, have to go see my therapist. er, new therapist." he shrugged. if it were anyone else, he would have lied and made something else up, but knew Monika wouldn't judge him for needing to see a shrink. after all, she was one.

"i've got the whole day off. i could walk you there if you'd like."

"you'd do that for me?"

"well, duh. i like you. i can just leave when your appointment starts. it's not a big deal, really."

"that would be... really wonderful."

so the two of them left the café. 13th street wasn't far, only about a ten minute walk from the café. Monika held his hand the whole way, snuggling up to him a bit. Arthur's heart fluttered.

things were going well for him for once. abnormally well. a girl liked him. he went on a date that didn't end in disaster, and she wanted to walk him to his new therapist's office simply to spend more time with him. he hoped his good fortune would continue. life had never been so pleasant.

the building that social services was located in was a was just as fancy as he'd thought when he'd stopped by before. whoever owned it clearly cared a lot about appearances- the floors were polished and shined, the windows were so clean you'd think there was nothing there at all. it made Arthur nervous.

"who are you seeing, again?" Monika asked in the elevator after Arthur pressed the button for floor five about times in succession.

"Dr. Vandertramp." he replied. "why, do you know people who work here?"

"no, nobody in particular." she shrugged. "just curious, that's all."

floor five turned out to be entirely social services, and room 502 was actually a large waiting room, with a maze-like string of offices behind the receptionists desk, or at least that's what it looked like to Arthur when he checked in with the receptionist, a pudgy woman with a soft, airy voice and a kind smile.

"Dr. Vandertramp will be with you shortly, Mr. Fleck." she smiled. "go ahead and have a seat while you wait."

Arthur took a seat in one of the remarkably uncomfortable chairs set out for patients. Monika placed her hand on his leg, which was currently bouncing due to his nervousness, and smiled sweetly.

"i'm sure your new doctor will like you." she reassured him, picking up on his anxiousness. "i know i complain about my patients sometimes but i do actually like most of them. you've got nothing to worry about."

it was 12:58. Arthur stared at his shoes. the sound of a door opening caught his attention, and the real Monika stepped into the waiting room, clipboard in hand.

"Arthur Fleck?" She called, not glancing up as she scanned whatever was on the clipboard, most likely the files Dr. Mercado transferred over to her.

the only difference between her and the delusion at Arthur's side was the laminated nametag pinned to her sweater that read 'Dr. Monika Vandertramp.'