Me introducing my characters:

"Hello, there. Thanks for checking out my story. This here *yanks up Willow who's wandering around* is Willow Glasspiers. She's a bit of a dying cow every time I read her and does something stupid every two seconds after I specifically TRY to get her not to. This, over here is Michael Midnight, he is God's right hand angel that always comes out perfect and is actually unrealistically perfect after I SPECIFICALLY TELL HIM to be flawed in a perfect way. He is somehow (and impossibly) in love with the turkey of a girl over there. They're lovely characters, trust me, in my own mind. But, in black and white they're more like sponge bob and Patrick."

This here is one of my main dilemmas. My characters are so frickin' stubborn and never do what I tell them. They're stupid (especially my main) and half the time I just want to eradicate all of them and have a story with robots insteads of humans (Wouldn't that be an interesting story?). 

Does this happen to anybody else? Comment if you've ever reread your story and realized how absolutely turkey like your characters come out? 

Like, MAIN CHARACTER WHY DON'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL FOR JUST A SECOND AND NOT A PHSYCOTIC IDIOT WHO'S SO HOPELESSLY LOST!?

I swear, my characters are just like spongebob: annoying, repetive, stupid, and loud.

Sometimes, (as I mentioned up there) I wish my characters were just robots. Or maybe I could just kill off Willow and have Willow's Legend without Willow (Won't my fans be happy!?).

Talk to me about your characters. Have you ever reread your story and thought, "Dear God I am going to strangle her!"? I can tell you I have. 

Vote if you hate stupid characters who never come out right.