I let out a deep sigh and get my purse and things together. You know I hadn't realized how much I had been letting God and my music slipping through my fingers. Grace's birthday party extravaganza is planned and now I just have to wait.

My phone buzzes again. I finally decide to pick up, "Hey, Evan. Meet me at our restaurant." I say, then end the call without another word.

I half-run, half-walk to the restaurant and wonder what I'm going to say. The lies are eating at me, taking the joy from each breath. I take a seat at the same spot where Evan and I have shared so many moments since we had first met.

Fifteen minutes late, Evan finally made it in. He leaned over into the booth where I sat and kissed me lightly. I didn't respond. Just couldn't. We ordered and after the food came, I finally felt like I couldn't hold this back any longer. "Evan."

"Yeah, baby?" Evan said with a surveying look at me.

"I need to tell you something...." My voice trembled and shook.

Evan reached his hand across the table, caressing my fingers as he held them tightly. "What is it?"

"I've been living a lie." I stared at my uneaten pasta on the plate. It looked bland, I had no appetite.

"I... don't understand." Evan pulled his hand back, staring at me hard.

"You don't know a lot about me. I have never had a boyfriend before you. The day we met I was feeling all alone. I had been getting harassed from the people back where I am originally from. Some pretty bad verbal abuse, so I was vulnerable and open to anything."

Evan's face is as still as stone, watching me wordlessly, so I just continue on. "You not only were a good looking guy that seemed to like me, you also opened up doors for me to follow my music dreams. But in that I lost my focus."

I sneak a glance at him, and he motions for me to continue. "I wasn't being as good of a friend as I should have been. I wasn't doing the kind of music I was made to do. God's music."

Now, Evan finally reacts, he jerks backwards. "You're a Christian?" His eyes flare. "Anything else you have been keeping from me?" His voice is more of a snarl, than that of the man I have come to know. At least I thought I knew him.

"I'm not a college girl. I'm only seventeen." I say, and finally lift my eyes to look at him.

Evan is standing now, looking at me with mixed emotions in his eyes. Finally, quick as lightning, he moves towards me. Leans into the booth, and hits me. Hard. This is the man that prides himself in going to the gym every single day. I feel it in the blow that hits my face.

Before he can go at me again, someone jerks him back and calls for the waiter to call the police to arrest Evan. Finally, things settle down, and I wonder how I'm going to get back to school. The party is in just a matter of hours. My eyes are already swelling shut, when I hear the seat across from me squeak. I jump, and yelp. Please God, not again.

"Easy. It's okay. I'm here to help you." It's that same voice of the man who pulled Evan away. His voice is gentle and soothing, I still, except for my trembling shoulders.

"Can I help you to the doctor, just to get you checked up on. You had a pretty nasty hit there." I nod, and he helps me to my feet. He says something to someone, and a gentle woman voice eases into a lull, as I find myself sitting in a vehicle. The man starts talking again, "I'm sorry about what happened. What started it?"

I find myself retelling the story to this man that I can't even see. And yet ... I trust him. Without question, I feel God's peace wrapped around me like a warm hug.

"Wow." He says, "I feel God pressing me to say this to you."

At that I understand why I didn't feel scared. "I'm a Christian too." I struggle to smile, but it hurts, so I just do a thumbs up motion.

"I've had trials. I have won and I have lost. But even when you don't understand what you are going through, God still has a plan. He will still be your God through all of it."

As if on cue, the radio picks up with that very song by Colton Dixon. Through All Of It. Even though I may be blind to the world right now. But Jesus... well He never left me. If anything it was more the other way around. Things might be turning just like the last turn before I get wheeled into the hospital.