CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
xvii. LET HIM BE

RUTH

BREATHING: A consistency that remained only slightly unchanged. Shallow, cold exhales rattled the silent tombs, echoing down the metal cages for the animals that lived in them. The woman glanced at her yellowing nails, the ends rough and gritty from a nervous habit she never could outgrow. The white light that shined through the hole in the wall burned into the side of her face, its glare haunting and harrowing to stare directly at, for it reminded her of the nightmares she couldn't escape.

Ruth sat up in the bed, her cracked lips emitting heavy breaths as she tried to recover from the pounding in her chest. She could hear the little one screaming her head off down the hall, and the hushes Carl made trying to soothe her. Ruth slowly leaned off to the side, placing her feet on the ground. The moon shined in the lightless tunnels, giving Ruth enough traces of the shadows of her feet to find the concrete below. Goosebumps ran over her arms from the frosty air that seeped through the holes in the walls. 

The infant continued her cries. The woman rushed down the hall. She turned into the cell where the two children resided, watching as the young boy tried to soothe the upset baby. Carl looked up for a second, only for his eyes to drift back to his sister.

"I think she's hungry," Carl whispered. "Do we have anymore formula?"

"We're getting low. Maggie and Glenn should have been back by now." Ruth replied. "Go check the supplies by Hershel's cell. I'll take her for a bit."

Carl eased the infant into Ruth's arms as he rushed out of the room. She sat down on the bed, trying her best to ease the child's frustration. The loud cries hit Ruth's ears like a gong, the pain hard to alleviate. She rocked the child back and forth, trying to quiet her to avoid awaking the entire cell block. Shushes erupted naturally from her mouth as "Little Ass Kicker" continued to scream. Oh, how the name was so fitting.

The boy returned with a bottle in his hands, quickly handing it to Ruth. She held it up to the baby's lips and almost immediately, she was quiet once more.

"You're good with her." Carl indicated.

Ruth sighed. "I used to babysit my brother a lot in high school. Tons of screaming like your sister here." Her lips hinted at a smile that couldn't completely form before dropping back to her blank expression once more. "She's going to be a riot when she's older. I hope you have the older brother skills to keep up with that." Ruth smirked.

Carl smiled slightly, his hand reaching up to grab his sister's. "I think I know what I want to name her."

"What's that?"

"Judith. Like my school teacher."

"It's a lovely name. Have you told your dad?"

Carl looked at her with a sigh. "When he comes back around."

"Right."

"Right." Carl huffed in frustration.

Ruth eyes darted around the cell, finally landing upon his face. "Get some sleep. I can take care of her for now." She observed the dark circles that lines his youthful features, and the sunken shallows of his cheeks were intensified in the dark. They were all starving, but it seemed to impact the younger members of the group the most.

Carl nodded, laying back down onto his bed. Within seconds, light snores could be heard from the boy. Ruth held Judith and rocked her slowly, hoping to ease the newborn back to a lulling sleep. She carried her out of the room and down towards the common area. The bleak and eerily silent cell block unsettled Ruth more than she liked to admit, but she pushed her worries away and focused on the door that led to the outside. She hoped for maybe a moment that Lori would come in through the entryway, the kind eyes she always wore looking back at her. That instead of the pale and lifeless corpse she last saw, the mother would come in and reach for her baby. Instead, the door remained empty of newcomers. 

Judith cooed quietly in Ruth's arms. 

Promise me you'll look over them.

Ruth gazed down at the newborn, her eyes shut as she drank the bottle. Ruth was almost jealous of the peace that the child felt, not feeling the guilt of the death that came with her life.

Protect them.

She pulled a tight smile across her lips. Running her hand over the child's few strands of hair, a few tears rolled down Ruth's face.

Of course I will.

Beth walked from the cell, rubbing her eyes as she tried to keep herself awake. "I can take her for a bit. I'm watching over daddy anyways." Ruth hesitantly handed Judith over to the girl, afraid to give her away to anyone but herself. 

Ruth watched her walk away with Judith, and silence ensued the quiet night. She gazed over at the exit once more, watching it loom with a temptation she couldn't quite understand. Maybe it was because it was an escape from the ringing she couldn't get rid of in her ears, or the sorrow she felt every time she closed her eyes to sleep. Her feet led her to the dark hallway, the knife she kept in her belt drawn at her side. 

The early dawning sun shone right into her face as she reached the courtyard. The light was warm and felt pleasing upon her skin, despite the cool breeze that ran through the early morning air. Her eyes were lined with shadows from so many sleepless nights. It was a miracle she even got a few hours earlier in the evening. She gazed across the large span of fence, watching the drastic amount of undead pile up on the metal wiring. 

She strolled down the path between the inner and outer fence lines, trying to relieve highly concentrated areas by killing a few walkers. The weight of all of the bodies was buckling the fence in some places, and she kicked the bottom wire to knock some of the dead bodies off of the caving barrier. However, something red caught the corner of her eye. Ruth glanced towards her right, spotting a figure that would otherwise would be indistinguishable in the crowd of walkers.

A darker skinned woman limped towards the fence, the walkers surrounding her completely ignoring her presence. Her skin was covered in blood, but not her own. She stared directly into Ruth's eyes, pleading and begging without making a sound. One of her hands wrapped through the chain, gripping it tightly. One thing Ruth noticed was the sword strapped to her back, the silver gleaming in the rising sunlight.

Leaning against her torso was a red crate, holding six bottles of... baby formula, and an abundance of clothes and toys. Her eyes pleaded once more, and words mouthed softly from her lips.

Please.

But Ruth could only wonder, why was she carrying items for an infant? Had something happened?

**

I am sooooo sorry that it has been so long since I have updated. College is absolutely insane, and I barely get the free time I need for myself! I hope you enjoyed the update. I am hoping to get another chapter out soon <3 Bear with me and I have missed you guys so much. 

-Cass

7-11-19