{ Always by Daniel Caesar}

Have you ever felt so sad and hurt that even crying doesn't help? Well that's me as I am laying on the grass near the lake trying to reconnect with nature. I always believe whenever life feels suffocating that its my cue to reconnect with nature I mean it is within the beauty of nature where one finds true inner peace they say. Well if you're wondering why I am lying here like I have no life its because they broke my heart.

Nothing pisses me off like the word love, honestly fuck love. In my opinion falling in love is a waste of time. Its an invitation to roaming around with a sad, sappy face, heavy and broken heart. I used to loveeee love. I was a lover girl by nature, I was one of the people who believed in a happy ever after or fairytales up until I had my fair experience of love or so I thought.

Ever met someone who makes your heart skip a beat when you see them? Man even their smell warms your heart, seeing them smile makes you happy even when you're sad. Their behavior determines your mood?? Fuck I really loved that boy, I gave him my love whole heartedly but guess what? He fucken stomped on my beautiful heart , he left me so fucken insecure and miserable. He broke me. He fucken ruined me and I will forever hate him for that. Psss who am I kidding I could never hate him even if I wanted to. Let me tell you a story of how I got my heart broken.

[few months back]

I am a first year student studying my MA in English Literature , in my high school years I developed a love for literature which led me to deciding to pursue it and here I am. Because of covid we are attending online, now let me tell you online classes make me lazy as fuck, I just attend while I'm in bed and go back to sleep most times.

As months pass I make a friend named Yolanda she keeps me updated or text me whenever the lecturer screams my name and I'm fast asleep. Today the lecturer decides to give us a group assignment and he chooses the group members himself, I fucken hate group assignments with my whole being, so anyway its me and 3 other people that I have never heard of we're supposed to discuss how Shakespeare uses the soliloquies to convey Hamlets emotional struggles. Personally  Hamlet really pisses me off because he is so miserable that all he does is mope around and obsess over what his mother is doing. He is a coward , he is not man enough to do as he says, he just speaks and speaks and speaks and dololo action just like every other guy in this generation.

Well we are to see on our student portal who is in your group and I have Yolanda, Nicky and Valentino. We decided to create a WhatsApp group so we can discuss our assignment. Stalking is something I expertise in, so I decide to stalk my group member and I have to admit Valentino is a sight for the eye. After that I decide to stop and start on my part of the assignment.

Around dinner time I'm with my mom eating I get a notification from Instagram and I open it," Valentino started following you" A small smile covers my face and I follow him back. When I'm done I wash the dishes and quickly take a bath and go to sleep. The following day I get another notification from IG saying; Valentino replied to your story..

Mhhh interesting I open the dm, and it said," But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." I smile to my self and reply," And you like the moon, make the night more beautiful with your presence. How about that Romeo" I hit the send button and think to myself what am I really doing and come to conclusion that its nothing serios I'm just playing . 

As days pass we chat almost everyday with Valentino. This other day he posted a meme on his story that says you might reject him all you want but he still kisses your pictures on IG before going to sleep.  After I replied to that story he asked  for my numbers and I give them to him.

We chat on WhatsApp and he is really a funny guy. Just as I'm thinking about him I receive a text from him.  {WhatsApp convo}

V: morning pretty girl, go out on a date with me yeah?

Me: oi Romeo is that all you have to convince a lady to go out with you? I now actually believe the story you posted that you be kissing your crush's pictures before going to sleep. 

V: Stop!  Shut up ion kiss nobody profile pictures because I do be getting girls sometimes trust me. 

Me: I wonder how when you're scared of speaking

V: I'm very manipulative I be throwing punchlines, I could show you my skills  but you'd probably get obsessed

Me: How do you know I'd be obsessed ?  

V: I just know and you being curious proves that.

Me: Okay chill don't be so full of your self.

 V: No I'm not , when I said I have the balls to ask my crush out I was being fr. Meet me tomorrow at Mugg and Bean Juliet at 10 am

Me: Oh God see you tomorrow then