CHAPTER THREE
your anger

Have you ever tried writing?

Dwayne read the words as Winnie wrote them in his notepad, looking at her confused.

Where's your notepad?

He sure wish he didnt buy it for nothing, even though it really didnt cost much.

She shrugged before underlining her words as if to ask the question again. Dwayne took in a deep breath and closed his eyes before replying.

About what?

She sighed quietly, analyzing his face and biting her lip, deep in thought. His cheeks slightly flushed under her gaze and he looked down at the page.

Your anger.

I'm not angry.

She sighed again. Not in the way that someone would when they're running out of patience or when they were annoyed. She sighed just because she felt like it.

Haven't you ever been angry? Or sad and heartbroken?

He shrugged and shook his head, Winnie frowned at the sight.

I think that's a lie.

Why would I lie?

Everyone lies at some point.

He looked at her and she looked back and it seemed to linger for a while before he turned and laid back to stare at the sky.

It's nice to write about your emotions.

She showed him her words before laying back next to him.

They didn't exchange words for the next 4 hours.

( ☀️ )

Winnie stared at the almost completely tattered leather notebook that sat on her bed beside her headphones that she had just taken off. It was open, the notebook, the page she was currently on was completely blank.

Dwayne had gotten her that notebook on Christmas in 7th grade. It was really thick ( it might've been really expensive. . .she didn't know ) and lasted her a few years now. She used it as a daily journal and was surprised on how long it lasted. She did skip a few days. . .or weeks, but that didnt matter.

Maybe it was because it was tall and thick, or maybe she just didn't have an interesting life. Maybe it was both.

She didn't have any friends besides Dwayne ( they had met in the 5th grade and been attached at the hip ever since ) and if she tried to make friends, she wouldn't speak more than two words the whole conversation.

Mostly consisting of 'wow' and 'cool' which made her sound uninterested even though she was anything but. It was just difficult to talk to new people.

So when Dwayne announced his vow of silence she thought she would join in for 'encouragement' which wasn't a complete lie. She did believe in him, more than anyone else.

She just hardly spoke anyway, it would be a nice bonding thing for the both of them.

And it was. . .kinda.

She didnt quite know how two people who didn't speak were supposed to bond if they couldn't talk, but they made it work.

If you asked her, she liked seeing Dwaynes handwriting, especially when he was excited to say something and it started to get messy. She thought it was cute. . .she thought he was cute.

And that was so gross.

He was just some boy who she decided to help in math class one day and now they spend every day together even if it was just doing nothing like laying down and staring at the sky.

Speaking of, she now had a sunburn from the last time they did that because she forgot sunscreen.

Anyway, she thought he was cute and maybe it was because he was the only boy she had genuinely talked to or person actually. But she never wanted any other friend besides it was him, so maybe not.

The Demont girl never understood her emotions so maybe this whole 'he's cute thing' was just fake. Just like how her sad thoughts might be fake or the constant urge to just. . .scream as loud as she could might be fake.

Nothing is real.

And that was her entry for that day.

She put the date above it and stared at it long and hard.

Nothing is real because time goes by fast in just a blink and everyone has weird emotions. My parents are okay with me not talking even though they always got mad when I never talked. They're not real anymore. Me and Dwayne don't write to each other as much, I still have the unsent letters under my bed. I don't feel hungry or thirsty or tired.

Im not real.

She looked at her words and cringed, just like she always did when she wrote her thoughts. It was all cluttered and didnt flow right, and it was just. . .everywhere. So she closed her notebook and stood up from her bed and went out to the kitchen. She grabbed the spray bottle from underneath the sink.

She began walking back up to her room when a paper on the kitchen counter caught her attention.

Working late again, we'll be home all day tomorrow, love you. - mom.

Her shoulders deflated at the words. Not that she didn't want her parents home all day ( well she kind of didn't want them home but not really ) they just worked all the time. It made her mad that they stressed themselves out.

And that they never spent time with her but she could deal.

One time they were gone for a week and a half with no note and she was convinced they left on vacation without her.

They of course denied it when she brought it up.

She crumbled up the piece of paper and tossed it in the trash as she walked by. Then, she went up to her room to water her plants.

( note. )

I am so nervous for this book and idk why I feel like- anyway