Caleb

* Two Weeks Ago *

I dropped to the ground and enjoyed the coolness of the pavement as my cheek made contact. I was grateful that it was a chilly night. Caleb had me running drills for a hour before playing one on one. We'd just finished our second basketball game where I'd lost 21-18. My body felt hot and sticky from all the sweat it produced the last two hours and was begging me to take a cold shower.

But as I reached for my water bottle I noticed how Caleb had joined me on the ground and didn't seem to be getting up anytime soon. I always enjoyed talking with Caleb, he made me forget all my demons, so I stayed where I was.

"You going to prom with anyone?" He asked before taking the water bottle from my hands and taking a sip.

I shook my head. "Nope I'm not feeling it after everything with Mark." I lied, not wanting to say that no one had bothered to ask me.

"Marks a pussy." Caleb said with a shrug.

I let out a laugh because I couldn't think of a reason to argue against the simple fact that he really was.

"You should just go with friends, have fun and get fucked up. Stop by my after party."

"Knowing the people you hang out with, if I stop by your after party I'll end up getting knocked up." I shot back. Caleb's party's were always legendary but I knew that I wasn't in the mental state to attend.

Lately things had been getting worse. I didn't see the point in things anymore and that scared me. I didn't see the point when eventually we all end up in the same place. Dead. Why go through feeling unloved and like I'm never good enough if at the end of the journey I'll be a rotting corpse anyway? What could possibly happen in the next 50 years that would make feeling that way worth it?

"Speaking of friends," Caleb replied. "Does Ash have a date?"

I rolled my eyes, of course this was the point of him bringing up prom. It wasn't about whether I had a date. It was never about me when it came to Caleb. I wouldn't be surprised if the only reason he was helping me get better at basketball was because it'd score him browny points with Ashely.

"She's going with Xander."

"Xander's a pussy too. She's needs to go with a man. Someone like—"

"You?" I cut in. "Have you even hit puberty yet? Your little twins down there drop?" I questioned, knowing I could only joke around with Caleb like that.

"Looks who's talking. You're twins up here," He pointed at my chest area. "Haven't exactly made an appearance either."

"Hey!" I covered my chest dramatically. "It's a slow process."

He laughed. "Sureee."

My hair started to whip in my face as the wind began to pick up. It was getting late but instead of acknowledging it I took the chongo from around my wrist and gathered my hair into a loose ponytail.

"You know," I said. "I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend." We never talked about anything serious and I wanted to see what his reply was.

"I am devilishly handsome, aren't I." He smirked at me.

"Well I was more surprised that one of the many girls you slept didn't catch your interest but whatever helps you sleep at night."

"I'm starting to think God hates me. All the hots one are either psycho, super clingy, dumb, or all three."

"You ever think maybe you just have really sucky taste?"

"Nothing about me is sucky." I laughed at that.

"No but seriously," Caleb looked at me and I knew whatever he was about to say I didn't want to hear. "You know I like Ashley. She's about the only exception to the typical hot girl." I tried to ignored the fact that this meant he thought I was psycho, clingy, dumb, or ugly.

"But she wants nothing to do with me. Doesn't it suck to like someone you have zero chance with?"

I wanted to say I was staring the very definition of that question in the face. I wanted to ask him if he thought he'd ever give a girl like me a chance. But instead I settled with replying with a simply, "Yeah."

"Wanna know what surprises me?" He shot me a sideward glance.

"Go for it."

"That Mark ever cheated on you." My heart sped up at the sound of his name. I didn't know what to say to Caleb so I stared at the pavement.

I couldn't say that I did agreed with him because I didn't. I had been psycho to believe love was always enough, clinging to something that was doomed before it started, and dumb enough to think we'd make it through anything. So didn't that make it my fault? But I couldn't tell him I didn't because despite his better judgment he'd ask why. Then eventually Caleb would have to give a reply that contained substance and not just some stupid joke.

The Earth wasn't flat and Caleb didn't do substance, that's just the way the world worked.

"I get that his dad died. He looked up to him. Hell we all did, and he died." I looked up to see Caleb's eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he continued. "His life went downhill and that had to suck but why cheat? You were there for him. The only good thing he had left and he ruined it."

"We're all destined to ruin the things that love us." I replied. "He's dating Emma now so it's whatever."

"I hate that bitch." Touché.

"You know I've thought about why he cheated on me. I threw away the reasons that all blamed myself and came up with an interesting theory. I think I reminded him of his past life, when he was happy and had his dad. I think that Mark thought he didn't deserve to be happy. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I start to think it's my fault."

"It makes sense that he'd do that. Like I said, Marks a pussy. He can't just accept that just because someone you love dies doesn't mean you have to stop living too."

It's not always that easy I wanted to say. Instead I let out a quiet sigh.

"Want to know the saddest part?" I said hesitantly. I wasn't sure Caleb would understand anymore than he understood the emptiness of losing someone you loved.

"I was nothing before him and I'm nothing after him."

"Aren't we all nothing without love?

a/n

I don't think there'll be more than six more chapters to this story. but anyways sorry this chapter is short. Caleb is the hardest character for me to write about.

Vote and Share if you enjoyed this chapter/book. :)