Mark

* Six Months Earlier *

I shielded my face from the water that threatened to blind me. A surge of water slammed into me, forcing me to spit out the salty water that had made its way between my lips. Thankfully none reached my eyes. Contacts and saltwater are as bad a combination as ketchup and well, anything.

"Lila stop being a wimp and come join me. It'll be fun." Mark called out, ten feet in front of me with water up to his chest. I had thalassophobia; fear of distance from land. There was no way he was ever going to get me that far out. I hadn't mentioned my fear yet because whenever I've brought it up to others they always called me ridiculous and judged me.

"No." I yelled over the loud family that was swimming to my right. Mark placed his hand over his head to shield the sun before wading towards my safety zone.

Once he was a couple a feet away he flashed me a grin, "Come on. Where's my cheerleader?" Lately he insisted on calling me his personal cheerleader.

"Is that all I am to you? Someone you keep around to boost your ego?" The nickname had been bothering me since the very first time he'd uttered it and I was tired of skirting around my feelings. No one around here ever said what they were thinking or feeling and it was exhausting. Frankly, I was tired of being tired all the damn time.

"What?" He seemed genuinely startled. "Of course not. Why would you ever think that?" Mark squinted his eyes before coming closer.

"How else am I suppose to take that?" I asked, just as confused as he was.

"When I call you my cheerleader I mean it as a compliment. You're always there for me, even on the bad days. Even on the ugly days you stick by my side and you make it easier to hold on for the good ones." I watched Zach toss the football to Caleb, unable to look Mark in the eyes.

Getting closer Mark placed his fingers on my check and turned my head back towards him, forcing me to make eye contact. "Hey," He stepped closer. "Why do you look so sad?"

I let out the breath I'd seemed to be holding for the past couple of minutes. "I feel so stupid and childish. I hate coming off insecure." I couldn't seem to express how immature my thoughts and words all seemed now that he'd explained.

"I love that about you." Understanding shown through Marks dark eyes. "You're flaws, I mean. They make you so human and beautiful. They make you so damn perfect."

It hit me in waves. The realization that I had fallen for him. I had fallen in love with his words and his heart. I had fallen in love with his soul.

•••

The park was empty except for two swings. As I slowly made my way to them I struggled to ignore the pain that was growing worse by the hour.

When I grew closer their silence was deafening. Marks eye was swollen and his lip cut, making me question what happened in my absence.

"If you could go back and change anything, what would it be? What would you erase?" Zach's words cut through the silence. It was a fair enough question. I knew what I would change. Everything.

"It's pointless to even answer that. I can't actually go back and change it. You can't erase your mistakes." He drug his hand down his face, wincing at the pressure he'd applied to his wounds.

"I know what I would change. I'd change it in a heartbeat."

"Dude, stop thinking like that. At this point my mind is about to explode enough as it is without thinking of all the what ifs." Zach was to out of it to notice, but by the shake in his voice I knew Mark was lying. It was the what ifs that were poisoning his thoughts.

Zach seemed to ignore his words. "I wouldn't meet her. I would avoid her and all the memories she offered. I would never become her friend." His words tried to kill me all over again.

"What the hell? Why would you say some shit like that?" Mark's words echoed my thoughts. Tears slid down my face with no conscience.

"Don't you get it?" Zach finally met Mark's gaze. "I wouldn't do it for me. I would do it for her. I'd do anything for her, even if it meant losing something so precious. Think about it. I wouldn't have broken her heart. I wouldn't have cracked her soul or driven negative thoughts into her head. She'd be better off without me. Don't you see that?"

Oh god no. Life without Zach? Easier or harder? I wouldn't ever want to find out.

Had he broken my heart? Yes, a million times over. Yet I didn't regret it being him who did so. Eventually someone else would have done the same thing, and they would have walked away and never looked back. With Zach things were different. He helped me tape the shards back together, even if he didn't know it.

"I understand where you're coming from. Do I want to take back hurting her? Absolutely, but then I'd be taking back the way she looked at me and the way she loved me playing with her hair or the way she'd eat her cereal with a fork. I'd erase all our Sunday game nights and how she laughed silently. I can't give those up because I'm selfish. I'm so fucking selfish when it comes to her. She was supposed to be my happily ever after, you know? In the end, I ended up being the villain in her story.-" He stood up and paced back and forth. "I don't even know where I was going with that. Do you think you can drive me to see her?"

"Yeah, and man?" Zach pushed himself up and fished for his keys in his pocket.

"What?"

"You deserve everything you're feeling, and she sure as hell deserved better than you."

•••

* Five Months Earlier *

I sat down opposite Mark, ready to beat him at one of my favorite board games; Sorry. I loved our new ritual on Sunday nights, no matter how tired it made me during school.

"Can you believe Isabella got pregnant? She always seemed so innocent." Mark said, loving THS gossip even more than myself.

"Mmmh," I nodded in agreement while moving a pawn."Rileys actually trying to deny that it's his. Apparently, his parents are going to disown him if they find out, his words. Oh my god, you won't believe what else I heard from Ashley." I said, not thinking of the impact my next words might have on him. "Thalia's moving back to Ohio. Her grandpa is sick and her mom wants to be there to take care of him." I popped another grape in my mouth, thinking how I'd miss all the parties she'd throw.

"I know." His words were short and clipped causing me to look up from the board. Mark's face was tense and I couldn't help but wonder if they had talked recently. Jealousy dared to burn through my veins even though I knew they were just friends. But could you really be just friends with someone you had dated for two years?

I wanted to ask him if he was fine, but deep down I knew the truth. He wasn't fine with her leaving, and that fucking hurt. So I kept my mouth shut. He continued to play the game in silence while I tried to wield the nagging questions to the back of my mind.

Did he still have feelings for her? Probably.

Would he ever choose her over me? Maybe.

Did it make me love him any less? No.

"It's your turn." His first words in twenty minutes.

"Yeah, sorry." I cleared my throat hoping my head would follow in its wake and tried to pay more attention to the game.

"Look, I told you I have complicated past relationships. You know that I get attached a lot easier than I let go. Please," He abruptly pushed the board to the side and scooted closer. "Just be patient with me."

"I will, as long as you promise to always be honest with me." I melted into the hand he had placed on my cheek.

"I can do that."

I pulled him closer and let out a nervous breath. "Are you sad she's moving?"

"Actually just the opposite. I'm glad she's moving, which makes me feel so guilty. When we were dating I was blinded by love. Thalia treated me like crap. She called me ugly and made me feel like I wasn't good enough. She called me boring and made it seem like I wasn't worth her love. She freaking broke me and made it seem like I was so lucky she liked me, as if I wasn't someone who deserved to be loved. Yet I chose to stay cause the darkest corners of my mind chose to believe all the lies and convinced me I really did love her."

"I love you." I said it confidently, even though my heart stopped with each word. I couldn't understand how Thalia couldn't absolutely adore ever inch of him.

"God, I'm so in love with you." I smiled as his words fixed the cracks in my soul.

He'd always be worth it to me.

A/N
•••
I feel very iffy about this chapter cause I had major writers block and I'm not the best at writing romance. It literally took me weeks to write this. Anyways, let me know what you think!! There are actually two songs for this chapter and the one I wasn't able to put in here is The Scientist, my favorite version is the one by Glee (but it's originally by Coldplay.) If you haven't you should definitely listen to it cause it fits this chapter perfectly. Also, don't forget that you can suggest songs for certain chapters and I'll add them to the playlist!
Thanks for reading :)