I love reading how y'all feel so don't be afraid to comment
*TRIGGER WARNING*

Macy

I continued to sit there in the cold weather, begging for Caleb to come. Begging for him to show he cared. Begging for a miracle.

Just as I was on the verge of giving up I heard voices drift from the parking lot. One was male and the other a female. Their familiar voices ran through my head trying to be placed.

"I'm just saying that I think this is silly." The female voice said.

The guy let out a laugh. "Well I didn't really ask, now did I?" He had a joking tone to his voice that was quickly swallowed by the wind. "Look, things have been hard on everyone. You need to talk about things and this has always been my safe place. It can be yours now too." They came into view, causing my eyebrows to draw together.

I'd already guessed the guy was Caleb but I never expected him to show up with her. He always bashed her and called her a "hoe". I'd never understand boys.

"Thanks Caleb. You're the sweetest." Cue the blushing.

"Anything for you babe." Babe? Since when did Macy become his babe? They sounded like a couple on their honeymoon. Disgusting.

Deep down I knew I was just being petty because I wished that someone would talk to me like that. At one point I wished Caleb himself would sweet talk me the way he was her, but I didn't dwell on it too long.

"Plus, you can always repay me later." He winked at her, emphasizing his perverted suggestion. I didn't bother to hide my gag and scrunched up face, it's not like they could see me anyways. I knew Macy well enough that she would definitely be thanking him tonight.

Once her laughing stopped she leaned against his chest and assessed the old basketball court. "Why did you bring me here again? Shouldn't you have asked me where we used to actually hang out or something? 'Cause we definitely didn't play basketball."

"Y'all are such girls." He shook his head like the fact that we didn't play basketball in our free time baffled him.

"Sorry sweetie, would you prefer to be thanked later by a guy?"

"Touché." He put his arm around her waist and sighed. "We used to come here a lot." I saw Macy immediately tense at the thought of him bringing another girl to his safe place. Don't worry, he wouldn't bat an eyelash at me unless I got a boob job or something dumb like lip fillings. You don't need to do either.

"Keep the claws away. She was like a sister to me. Nothing else." Caleb let out a chuckle at Macy's sigh of relief.

I struggled to swallow the self pity welling up in my throat. He wasn't mine and never would be and I accepted that, I really did. Yet, I still found myself wallowing in how easily he shoved the idea of us as more than friends away like a plague.

"I'd just help her with her jump shot and free throws. Sometimes we'd just sit and talk shit. We'd laugh like everything was perfect in the world, ya know? Never once did she mention anything that could remotely make her sad. I'm just confused."

Everything with Caleb was always so superficial. We never talked about anything that involved actual meaning. I'd wanted to of course but I knew what would've happened if I had. He would've joked around and tried to make sure the conversation didn't get to depressing. It would've been brushed aside like the Jonas brother nobody knows the name of.

Frankly, Caleb's more shallow than a kiddy pool. If it didn't involve money, sex, or basketball then it wasn't worth dwelling over. He only cared about the things that benefited himself and everything else could fuck off. I loved him despite of it, because at the end of the day he was still a kind person.

Yet, at night I let the monsters crawl out and curl up on my bed. I let them rule my dreams and dim my light. But night turned to day and eventually they stopped hiding under my bed and in my dreams. They started sleeping in the cracks of my soul, feeding off of me like a parasite. I let them stay there because I deserved every new crack they created. 'Cause I couldn't love myself I let the monster take control and love him instead.

"I know why she did it. She was treated like crap. I'd off myself too if I was her." Macy never filtered her thoughts, and while I usually welcomed the honesty, I wished she wouldn't make me feel like a sob story.

"By who? Everybody likes her. I mean, yeah she's kind of a bitch and gets in everyone's personal business, but no one really cared that much cause she was chill as hell."

"I don't know. I mean everyone really."

You, I wanted to scream into the  air, but instead I watched my breath fan out in the cold night, struggling to shove the monsters back under the blanket.

"Do you feel guilty?" Caleb asked.

Spinning around Macy looked him in the eye. "What? No. I mean it's not I forced her to swallow a bunch of pills." Her eyebrow twitched, which over the years I learned meant she was lying. How romantic.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I know it's a sensitive topic." My eyebrows raised to new heights. He must of really liked her because he hardly ever apologized for anything.

I was happy for him. Her not so much. She'd taken everything thing from me. If I wanted it, she got it. If I had it, she took it. First it started with Zach. Eventually, it ended with her torn skin and the shredded pieces of my heart being swept away as if it never occurred.

*Three Months Ago*

I tapped my fingers to the beat playing on the radio onto the steering wheel of my blue mustang. Switching on my turning signal I pulled onto Macy's street. Last week she'd borrowed a pair of heels that I needed back. I should've told her no, but I didn't want to add anymore tension to our barley there friendship. I pulled into her driveway and switched off the car after putting it into park.

I knocked three times before her mom answered the door.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing here?" She pulled me into an awkward side hug.

"I came to get a pair of heels from Macy. She's here right?" I questioned, really wishing I would've called first.

"Oh please. When does she ever leave? I wish that girl would actually do something besides FaceTime the new boyfriend she gets every other week." She threw her hands up in exasperation, while I tried to stifle my laugh.

"Go on up, sweetheart. I'll be watching my novellas in the sitting room if you need to me." Before I could leave she kissed my cheek and informed how nice it was to see me again.

When I reached her door I could hear music blasting. Figuring she wouldn't be able to hear my knock I walked into the room slowly. When I didn't see her lying across her kinged sized bed I spun in a full circle, scanning for any trace of her. I made my way towards the bed and grabbed her pink phone.

Clicking the stop button on the music I listened closely now that it was quiet. My attention turned towards the bathroom connected to her bedroom when I heard a shuffle drift from between the halfway closed door.

I nervously made my way towards it having no idea what I'd find. I knocked twice but the only response I received was a series of sniffles.

My eyes bulged at what I saw when I finally opened the creaking door. Macy sat on the tiles surrounded by her mistakes. Her problems and worries spewed out from her skin, tainting the once white floor red.

I dropped to my knees, ignoring the stains spreading their way across my body. I grabbed the razor from in between Macy's fingers and tossed it to the side.

"Hey, hey girl." I lifted her up into a more stable position, trying to come up with words that would sew her skin back together. I shrugged of my cardigan and wrapped it around her arm hoping that it would stop the bleeding. I had no idea what I was doing. I'd never been through something like that before, and it left me helpless.

"What's wrong?" If I couldn't take away her scars maybe I could calm her thoughts, and force her monsters back under the bed.

"I just wanted to forget. I just wanted the pain to disappear." She couldn't handle the pain running threw her veins so she sliced away in hopes of becoming sane. "I'm sorry. I'm s-so sor—" I struggled to understand what she was saying through the sobs.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize for anything."

"This weekend I-I—"

I retracted my hand from the cardigan and scooted back till the door was supporting me.

Everyone always said that scars were beautiful because they told a story about how strong you had to of been to still be standing, but the numbness clawing it's way into my soul begged to differ. Her scars were her mistakes and my downfall. I couldn't walk away from someone who was bleeding out her sorry's. 'Cause what kind of person would that make me?

She carved out lines in her skin and holes in my heart. Not everybody's scars are beautiful.

"I slept with Mark."

She had everything to apologize for.

A/N
This chapter/character is basically why I started writing this book, so I hope I did it justice.
P a r t T w o
will be coming soon, starting off with Mark. (Seriously excited for his chapter ahhh)

Don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed the chapter :)