Hi! My name is Flower Potter, which is weird because I am in no way related to Harry Potter even though we look alike and share the same last name. In fact, I don't even know who Harry Potter is even though I am in the Wizarding Community.

I was adopted by the Malfoy's who despise me because they think I'm a Mudblood, which I don't get since they would have had to know that to have adopted me. Weird people, I tell you. Anywho, today I am going to Hogwarts, first year, and am about to buy my things at Diagon Alley.

"Enchanted wood with a alicorn hair wand. Very rare. Seven Galleons please," The shopkeeper, Ollivander, said. My snooty mother paid and led me out. She hates me but surprisingly I got top-notch supplies for school.

My life like totally stinks.

So mate I mate totally mate am mate excited mate to mate get mate out mate of mate the mate house. I hate it there, and my older brother, Draco, makes my life horrible.

So the day came when I was on the Hogwarts Express, and about to head to Hogwarts, when I met a bunch of gingers. I bet it was the Weasley's! No... It could be the other comically large ginger family but that might be stretching it.

"Hi, I'm Flower Potter- I mean Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" Ron asked, wrinkling his nose up in disgust. I looked down at my shoes. I was kind of ashamed of my family's behavior, even though I was raised by them, therefore I would have their personality traits.

"Yeah..."

"Bloody 'ell," he muttered.

"Ron, that isn't very nice," a girl with frizzy brown hair sighed, chastising him.

"Bloody 'ell, who are you?" Ron asked the girl. Wait, how did I know his name was Ron? LE GASP! I must be telepathic.

"Your Hermione Granger," I gasped, using my kick butt telepathic powers. They all blinked at me.

"Yeah, I just said that," Hermione blinked. I blushed and looked down at my shoes again.

"Bloody 'ell," Ron said. Finally our flying train with chocolate frogs rolled to a stop and all of us got off, skipping towards Hogwarts because it's not like first years had to cross a lake or anything.

"You seem familiar," a guy with a lighting bolt scar said, with absolutely no accent whatsoever, "ya know, dude, you kinda look like me brah."

"That is impossible. Who are you?" I asked because I'm brick stupid.

"Harry Potter man," he smiled, raising his hand to fist bump me. Suddenly a giant man with curly hair appeared in front of us and opened a magical door that had suddenly appeared out of thin air. I WONDER IF ITS NARNIA!

"Hello students. I am Hagrid, the gameskeeper of Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft And Wizarding. If you'll just follow me this way, I would be pleased to escort you into the dining hall where you will be sorted," he explained in a pleasant manor. We followed the giant who was obviously our English teacher into the special classroom in the Land of Stories for sorting. Because, ya know, you god forbid you get sorted in the dining hall. That's just not how we roll.

One after one wizards were called up and sorted into houses: The Brainiacs, The Dauntless, The Mini Death-Eaters, and The Boringtons. Soon my name was called up.

Hello, the hat said. Let's see. Your so Mary-Sueish that you should be in the Factionless. But since ER mah god ur Harry Potter's twin I guess you gotta be in Dauntless gurl.

"Gryfindor!" Huh, I could've sworn it was Dauntless. I went to sit by Harry, Ron and Hermonie since we were all besties.

And then I blacked out.

Then I woke up to find out I didn't black out I just apparated into our Dauntless common room because I'm all powerful ninja like that. Then there were these two ginger twins and I ran up to one of them and I'm like Oh Mah Gawd.

"GEORGE! MARRY ME SINCE YOU DONT DIE AT THE END OF THE SERIES!"

"I don't what?" Gred muttered to Forge who shrugged his shoulders.

"I think she's a bloody lunatic," Fred replied.

"OH MAH GERD!" I yelled, running away from them and running towards my besties, Won, Gary, and Jermionie. "I'm going out with George!"

"What I didn't agree to that!"

"WELL SUCK IT UP THIS IS A TYPICAL FANFICTION AND YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH ME BECAUSE FRED DIES AT THE END OF BOOK SEVEN AND YOU GET YOUR EAR CUT OFF!!" I screamed. Then I remained a calm, happy pickle. Everyone blinked then went back to what they were normally doing.

"What on Earth is a bloody fanfiction?" Gred asked Forge. Forge shrugged because he's mute and cannot speak because he dies at the end of the book series, therefore Gred does all the talking. So I chatted with Gary and Jermonie... And erm..... Steve? Yeah Steve. About homework even though we haven't had any classes!

"Oh mah GERD," Hermonie said like the jealous girl she always is, "back away from Harry. He's like, mine gurl."

"Ok," I said because God forbid the authors of this fanfic read the books so they know Hermonie doesn't like Harry but hey, it's a typical ship. "He's yours." Then we went to class because we're boss like that.

"Blahblah, Blah blah blah I hate Gryfindorr," Snape says upon our exquisite marvelous amniperfect enterance, since the author forgot all about the depth of Snapes character and just have him here to hate on people. "Harry, Flower. You both are breathing. 472818181182828282891198474373 points from Gryfindorr." Draco shot me a concerned
look because he's such a wonderful big brother to me in secret. Like, omg he's SU Amazin like, it is not even 2 stupad of him 2 say anying about me. The last sentence did not make sense, because let's be honest, does anything from texting books actually do?

"But sir, maybe we would seem better if you just take the stick out of your butt?" Harry asked, raising his hand.

"Shut up miscreant. BTW GURL DumbleBumble, my new name for Dumbledore, wants to see you. Something about your dad being back idk just make up your work later. Or fail. I get paid either way," Snape ordered. Harry gather his things and apparated to Dumbledore's office with me since we were siblings DUH. Oh wait... Shoot... I wasn't suppose to reveal that.

"Harry, Flower, as you know you look a lot alike so Blah blah blah cryptic stuff guess what? You're twins! One of you hid from Voldemort and the other survived as a hero. And I think it's obvious which is which," Dumbledore said, raising an eyebrow. I socked Harry's shoulder.

"Yeah you idiot."

"Oh and there is one more thing but it shouldn't be that important: you're fathers back Harry."

"But," Harry protested, "this takes place in the first book! He shouldn't be back until the fifth!" Dumbledore sighed.

"Look kid, I don't care. Ye're fathers back 'Arry. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Dumbledore looked a bit suprised, then rubbed his temples. "Ugh! The authors smearing characters and it isn't even a crossover! Anyway you, baby, I'll fastfoward time." He snapped his fingers and instantly we were taken along the course of several books until we were in fifth year. With that, we walked out.

"POP GOES THE WEASEL!" Luna Lovegood screamed in our faces, popping out as we walked by. She should really be in a loony bin by now.

"Hey what's going-" George's voice trailed off when he saw me as he came around the corner. "Uh oh." With that he began to run. Suddenly a girl with short brown hair, an 'I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good' sweater, and... Flying converses(?) appeared.

"RUN GEORGE RUN LIKE THE WIND AND NEVER LOOK BACK!" She yelled down the hallway. Another girl appeared, tackling her. She had curly black hair and a 5Sos shirt.

"Stop it Kat! You're breaking the forth wall!"

"Shut up Romina! It's a moral rule to break the forth wall in every fanfiction I do!"

"Um, can we help you?" I asked. Both turned and glared at me like a slapped their mother and made them drink pickle juice.

"Is it bad that I hate her even though I wrote her?" The brunette asked.

"I hate her even though you wrote her," the other replied.

"Should we leave?"

"We should leave."

"I think I think we've covered all the cliches."

"You forgot the female Marauder one."

"Thanks Romy." With that the two strange girls disappeared in a cloud of smoke. In their place, an older version of Harry running towards us. He hugged us in full arms, me on the right, Harry on the left.

"Oh I missed you both so much! Flower! Harry! How long have I been dead?" We weren't like getting strange looks or anything cuz we were *does math on fingers* fifteen and our dad was twenty something...

"Like... Fifteen years? Right?" Harry asked, looking over at me. I nodded.

"How'd you get back from the dead?" I asked. A woman a bit older than dad teetered over on high heels.

"There's where you ran off to James! Sirius and I have been looking for you." She saw us and waved with a perfect smile. We cautiously waved back.

"Kids, this is Kim or Kate or whatever she wants to be called. She was the only female Marauder in my olden days. And she's Sirius' girlfriend," James replied, elbowing KimKate in the ribs at the last part.

"I am not relevant to the story," KimKate said, turning into an eagle or lioness or some majestic creature. We ooed and awed.
From that moment, Dad, Sirius, and KimKate became our new family. Oh yeah, and I defeated Voldemort while Harry was on the toilet because I'm an immortal ninja like that.

And they all lived happily ever- *imaginary the end credits rolling down stop, getting forced back up as Kat from before poked her head in*

"Hi my awesome readers! Hope you enjoyed this Worst Fanfic, and that it was as cliche or more cliche than the Percy Jackson one. Look, I know I'm going to get comments saying a lot of this was copied from the Willow Malfoy/Potter/Tree series, but just know that I didn't. I've read that series, yes, and it was awesome, but let's face it: it was a little cliche. So I hope your enjoyed and feel free to hate all over this fanfic and laugh. Love you! Doing OUAT next!"

With that, The End slammed down on her neck and decapitated her, sending the head into the dark abyss below.

THE END