I have over 9k views? Wtf?

I'm concerned.

Atsu was never the best at communication, talking generally wasn't his thing. He was best at keeping quiet, at dealing with everything by himself.

Why did he have to drag Kanashi of all people into his mess?

Why her? Why then, of all times?

He only coughed. It was followed by a sickening quenching sound. It was a terrible, terrible sound. Like gurgling acid and stomped organs. Like choking, but worse. He couldn't stop himself. It hurt to stop himself.

It was as if there was something suffocating him from in his throat. It stuck like syrup.

He was swimming a lap without arms, drowning, kicking at the water to breathe. To live. He had to choke up the last bit of air left in his lungs, breathing in poison.

His death was inevitable. But she shouldn't worry.

She's fretting over him, worried一she's too young to be worried about the things she is. She's only ten; she shouldn't be taking care of him. She should be whispering secrets to stuffed animals and writing letters to santa.

Her eyes should be sparkling with joy and pleasantness. Building figmented worlds of her own.

This could have all been avoided, he thinks, if he'd dealt with the pain. If only he一 he's so pathetic it hurts him. His head is spinning in circles, his vision is spotted; his chest clenches, his heart squeezes tightly and his windpipe closes. He makes that terrible quenching noise again. His throat burns, but he can breathe. Even if it's all wheezed and scratchy.

_

He skipped three days on sick leave and by the time he comes back they have a new student that was supposed to arrive.

Atsu comes to class early today一not as early as usual though, Karma is there and the AIFA is on, conversing with him about random things. Atsu doesn't bother to eavesdrop on what they're saying, he couldn't make a difference anyway.

He couldn't even hold in his own spit. He could wave his arms up and down like when he pretended to fly.

AIFA 'turns' to him. "Hei, velkommen tilbake, Hino, og god morgen."

"God morgen til deg også, AIFA,"

"Jeg gå av Ritsu nå."

There is a blanket of nerve that warps over them. Encompassing the group of three.

It hurts- everything hurts. Why won't it stop- stop it. Stop it. Stop it. His throat closes; he can't breathe again. His lungs are set aflame in his constricted chest, his stomach is filled with carmine red as the sky is filled with sapphire blue.

Cotton candy clouds blaze over the burning sun, cracks in the dry dirt; a trap set for any sort of prey; a hungry deer falls in. There is an arrow in its gut. It falls and closes its eyes, embracing the end of its short existence. Atsu coughs into his fist at some point in the conversation between the three voices in the room.

Karma can't help but feel his stomach drop at the sight of blood on the boys fist. It feels odd, he likes making people bleed after all. The redhead teen turns away, averting his eyes from the handsome boys bloodstained fist一 handsome? Since when does Karma think Atsu is handsome.

His face becomes the color of his hair for a moment, catching fire, dusting all the way to the tips of his ears. He gulps, his throat feels like sandpaper and ice, he might have a clue as to why. Then he pales.

Atsu thinks to himself that this would all be better- the more time he's with Karma the more he realizes, the quenching sound is more quiet than his heartbeat.

His ears feel hot. He doesn't know why.

"Hey Atsu-chan, are you sick?"

The room is loud, they realize in that very moment. People have walked in- Ritsu stopped talking to them a long time ago, now conversing with the girls about another transfer student. She says that he is stronger than even her.

"I think so, it's probably just a cough though Akab- Karma- I'll be fine."

"If you say so, Atsu-chan." The redhead replicates the plastic smile that Atsu always seems to show.

_

A man clad in white saunters into the class, he performs a magic trick.

The dove lands on Atsu's desk- he used to love birds- he thinks at least. He can't remember much anymore. He can't see the past all that well, he can hear it, though. Even why he closes his ears and his heart thumps in his chest to a deafening degree, he can still hear it. He can still hear her laughing, a blank curtain set where he thinks she should be. Where he can hear her.

He thinks it's almost worse than the quelching sound, almost.

He'd prefer if they both disappeared. Then he could run by the ocean- then he could run away with Kanashi. He wishes that he could be stronger- that he could swim better. Because if he could swim better everything would be fine; red would be the color of love and he wouldn't feel so empty.

The only thing that leaves is the bird, his eyes burn red. Something drips out, he doesn't know what, but crimson dries on his sleave and the evidence is gone.

He's fine. He must be stronger.

If he were stronger then dust wouldn't be suffocating and he could breath through copper and salt. If he were stronger they'd only hurt him. Then Kanashi would be safe and everything would be fine, her eyes wouldn't be so hollow- they would sparkle like his used to. They would sparkle and shine in the sun because she would be allowed to go outside. She would be able to play and laugh and building worlds of her own.

She wouldn't have to worry about getting him bandages- about her gashes healing faster so that he wouldn't dye red. She could be happy- like she was by the ocean. Maybe one day he'll be strong enough to bury his feet in the sand when the sun hides behind heavy clouds.

Maybe, but not today- he's still too weak.

His thoughts are broken when they wall behind him collapses to the ground in a violent burst. Tears pool from the sky and he can feel cotton in his ears- he's not strong enough yet. Maybe he should worry about killing his teacher now. He'll think about the beach later; if the Earth survives past March. He'll take her to the beach for her birthday. She'll smile then, like she used to.

When the world was nicer and he was happy.

For now he'll just stand with empty black eyes, because feeling nothing is better than feeling the fear the crawls up his spine whenever he touches water. He tries to suck in the pain because if he gives in he'll start scratching to get rid of the wet feeling on his skin. And then he'll bleed, he doesn't want to wipe off the blood.

"Victory is mine." The unknown voice is crazed with competition. Silver, gold, and orange swirl around a speck of black, blue hair- like waves- swivels off to the side of his head asymmetrically. Atsu just watches with numbness that only comes with the cold as his new classmate continues to speak. "I have proven myself stronger than the classroom wall."

Stronger. That's right- Atsu wants to be stronger- but he thinks it's in a different sense. He wants to be able to forget- forget his fears and the terrible quelching sound and Kanashi's sad eyes.

"Itona Horibe, or if you'd prefer, Itona." The man in white finishes.

Atsu has a green feeling in his stomach. Sometimes filled with envy. He isn't drenched and Atsu is jealous. Jealous of the fact he can stay away from the rain. It's as if Karma can hear his thoughts, because he presents the question to the transfer student.

Blue hair rises like a tidal, creeping closer- closer. Closer.

"You're the strongest in this class- hm- no."

He redirects his orange eyes to charcoal ones. "You're the strongest in this class."

He walks to Atsu and pats his head; Atsu feels his ears fill with plastic, something is pushing him down. His eyes dilate, shrinking. Inhaling seems too hard, he takes in small breaths that not even he can notice, his throat is sticking with syrup and acid rain. His vision goes blurry with moisture; his lungs are full of water at something bittersweet and savoury. His nose flares and一

The hand is removed from his head and he let's out a sigh of relief as he ruffles his locks. His shoulders are still square, he doesn't relax.

Itona marches foreword.

"You're still weaker than me, that means you get to live. You're beneath my skill. I only kill things that are stronger than me."

Atsu watches as his ocean haired classmate narrow his eyes into slits. "In this case, Korosensei, that means you."

There is no waver in his voice. It remains toneless and blank. Like his crazed eyes. He challenges the teacher to a brawl and it comes to Atsu to prepare his attack, because even if Itona should fail, Korosensei will definitely be weakened.

He just needs to find the right herbal material for it to work.

Creases tilting upwards into something akin to devious behavior, a smug expression pulls over the normally straight line of Atsu's lips. He splits his mouth into a smile of some kind.

The air remains as tensed as Atsu's stature.

By the time lunch rolls around Atsu wanders into the forest, all of the things he needs are here. All he has to do is find them. Aware of the eyes following him, Atsu goes out the window. Only golden eyes and ocean hair realize his fleeting presence.

_

He's back by the end of the day, all the classroom has shifted, desks and chairs border an arena. He holds a small ball in his fist.

He taps the shoulder of the person nearest, asking them to close their window and pass the message. The windows are shut discreetly, nobody takes notice. Atsu toys with the mini-bomb in his hand and a poker face displayed to the world.

Atsu watches the fight with lazy eyes, tracing their every move with the utmost precision. The rain stabs harshly against the windows, he closes his empty eyes and takes deep breaths.

"Well where do you wanna go then?" His voice is filled with exhaustion and sarcasm.

She stares at her older brothers oddly vibrant eyes with her mismatched
ones. A bright grin spreads across her childish features.

"I wanna go to the beach."

"But it's raining, Ame."

"I know."

"Fine."

He waited for a moment, hesitation clear in his actions, as if he knows the upcoming events.

"Kanashi! We're going to the beach, wanna go?"

The window cracks when Korosensei throws his competitor out the window. He can't do it the way he planned, but maybe he can fix this problem. He grabs a cloth as the psychopath outside begins to raise his voice, muttering psychotically.

He pools the liquid from his bomb into a tissue on the ground, walking quietly behind his transfer classmate.

He puts the napkin over Itona's mouth and nose, and as if it were chloroform, he collapses.

"Well that was pointless." Atsu mutters, dropping the tissue to the grassy floor.

The only thing he receives is Korosensei gawking and the man in white一 Shiro, was it? 一 gasps.

Odd, he didn't expect that reaction.

W is Withdrawn;

I am nothing but a pawn

To them I am a tool

Nothing but a fool

To send of and duel

But what if I do feel?

What if I'm not a robotic

What if what I see isn't just static?

Would that make me manic?

Am I being dramatic?