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Memories Return


"Do you believe in ghosts?" Sasuke asks Naruto the following evening. It's an offhanded thought, but he can't help recalling all the silly superstitions he's heard throughout the years.

"I've thought about it," Naruto says. "I've thought about it a lot since my father died, but I really can't bring myself to believe."

They're sitting in the kitchen. Naruto is in front of the stove while Sasuke sits at the table.

"Yeah," Sasuke murmurs in agreement.

"It's a little too whimsical for my liking," Naruto continues. "I was never one for fairy stories and fantasy."

"Fairy stories?" Sasuke questions.

"Yeah..." the blond starts before listing off, "Trolls, mermaids, demons, goblins, witches, giants, elves and of course fairies... Haven't you read any of the classics?"

Sasuke pauses before shamefully admitting, "I can't read."

Naruto turns around, looking incredulous. "You can't read?" he asks as if he didn't hear it correct. "I'm surprised. You have a good vocabulary."

Sasuke shakes his head. "I was never taught to read... I was only taught how to speak because the overuse of slang isn't attractive to most clients. I grew up in the slums, so I had a foul mouth and a slight twang."

"Really...?" Naruto softens. "So did I, but I suppose I got lucky."

This surprises Sasuke. "You grew up in the slums as well?" he urges.

Naruto nods. "I was taken away by the man who would become my father. That was when I was seven. He adopted me, paid for my education and now here I am – a successful researcher. I have everything I should want."

Sasuke can't help but be envious. They both started from the bottom, but Naruto climbed up the social ladder while Sasuke stayed put. If anything, Sasuke's situation only got worse. "Oh," is all he manages.

"Hey," Naruto murmurs. "If you want to learn, I can teach you?"

"You would do that?"

Naruto nods. "It'd be fun. Think of it as a bonding activity."

"Okay," Sasuke says, forcing a small smile.

"Hey," Naruto points out, "I think this is the first time I've seen you smile."

Sasuke places his palms on his cheeks, as if he's consciously trying to stop himself. "I suppose I've been too negatively preoccupied."

"Understandable," Naruto sympathizes. "We can start tomorrow evening."

||XxXx||

Come night, Naruto has strange dreams of himself living a life he's never lived, but there's something so familiar about it. He can't quite place it. He's young and afraid. He's on a steel operating table, naked and still. He can't move. He can't speak. There are bright lights shining in his face. Masked men are hovering over him. They poke. They prod. He wants to protest, but he can't. He can't. They speak to one another, using words he doesn't understand. A pause. One of them removes his mask. Naruto's heart sinks. It's his father.

Naruto shakes in his sleep, shaking himself back into consciousness. He sits up, sweaty and breathless. "What the fuck?" he whispers aloud, nearly choking on the words. On top of that, he has yet another migraine. He gets up out of bed to get a glass of water in the kitchen only to find Sasuke sitting at the table.

"Hi," he greets airily.

"Couldn't sleep?" Naruto asks.

Sasuke shakes his head. "Too anxious."

"Yeah," the blond whispers, understandingly. He was in Sasuke's position just a few nights ago when he found Karin standing at his door. "That feeling will go away soon."

Sasuke simply shrugs. "What about you?"

"Strange dreams," he admits.

"About what?" Sasuke pries.

Naruto fills a glass of water before sitting across from the other man. "It was weird," he starts. "I think I was being experimented on by my dad. I feel like it could have happened, but I have absolutely no recollection of it."

"Maybe it's your guilt getting to you," Sasuke suggests. "You're dreaming about being experimented on when in actuality you're the one in charge."

Naruto smiles wryly at that. "Probably."

||XxXx||

The following morning, Naruto has a surprise guest and forces Sasuke to stay in his room for the day. "Be quiet," he warns sternly.

Sasuke is taken aback by the cold request, but he understands. Naruto would get in trouble if anyone found out who he was housing.

Resisting the urge to pout, Sasuke simply lies in bed. In thought, he tries to pass the time. He hears Naruto's voice coming from downstairs, loud and boisterous and happy. 'They must be good friends,' Sasuke thinks.

The voices grow closer and Sasuke can hear footsteps going past his closed door. Sasuke deduces that Naruto is taking someone to his bed. He isn't surprised. Naruto seems like the kind of man who gladly partakes in casual sex. He's handsome and charming when he's not being offensive and loud. His voice is cheerful yet masculine and hoarse. He looks nice when he smiles and he does it so often – like it comes naturally. Sasuke never understood how people could smile without thinking about it, but it's something Naruto does easily. Whether or not they're real smiles, Sasuke will never know.

'He must have a nice life,' Sasuke thinks. He can't help but wonder if he's messing things up.

Before he knows it, he can hear moans coming from the other side of the wall along with a rattling headboard. He closes his eyes and tries to ignore it, but he can't.

For some reason, he's bothered.

||XxXx||

Naruto flops onto the bed beside Gaara when they're finished having sex. They lie still and silent, side by side.

"What have you been doing?" Gaara asks to break the tense feeling taking them over.

Naruto shrugs carelessly, staring up at the ceiling. "Nothing really. Business and more business."

"Me, as well," Gaara says.

"Taking over the company wasn't nearly as stressful as I imagined," Naruto says. It's a half-lie, but the stress has nothing to do with the paperwork. It's mostly about the morality of what is being done.

"Hm," Gaara muses. "Then what's on your mind?"

Naruto can't help but smile. "You read me like a book," he says with a sigh. "All right," he relents. "It's a lot different than I thought it would be."

"Understandable," the other man nods. "There was probably a lot you didn't know, correct? Before your father died, all you did was sit on the side lines and watch what they allowed you to watch. When your father died, he could no longer hide things from you. It's all yours now."

"Yeah," Naruto whispers.

"I won't stick around for too long, then," Gaara says, sitting up and getting out of bed.

Naruto watches as he gathers his clothes and gets dressed. He's a beautiful man, really... but there's no feeling when they fuck. It's mutually apathetic and purely physical. Naruto tries continuously to keep it in that perspective, but then he reminds himself that Gaara is in pain. Maybe all Naruto is doing is taking advantage of him.

"You don't have to leave," he says.

"It's okay," Gaara promises. "I have a meeting in a couple hours anyway."

Gaara works in a depository. He has a big brain and will read just about anything that is set in front of him. For him, reading is effortless and he remembers every word.

"All right," Naruto relents. He slips a pair of sweatpants on and follows Gaara out of the room. They walk down the hallway, down the stairs and to the front door.

"Hope your meeting goes well," Naruto offers.

"It will," Gaara says surely.

With nothing more, they part ways. Naruto shuts the door behind the redhead and wanders into the kitchen. He makes a sandwich and wastes a little time before remembering that he borderline locked Sasuke away in his room. It's something the poor guy is probably used to. Without further hesitance, he makes his way upstairs and opens the brunet's door. He finds Sasuke lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you finished?" he asks, sitting up.

"Yeah," Naruto says. "Sorry."

"I'm used to it," Sasuke says with a sigh. "I'm always being locked in rooms and forbade leaving."

"Still... sorry," Naruto offers.

"Who was it?" Sasuke asks, dismissing the apology.

"A friend," Naruto answers vaguely.

"A friend you love?" Sasuke pries further.

"I suppose so," the blond confirms.

"Are you with him?"

"What's with all the questions?" Naruto answers the question with one of his own. He walks into the room and sits near the bottom of the mattress.

"I just want to understand," Sasuke says. "I don't know what it's like to be with someone you love."

"Me neither," Naruto admits. "That guy... I love him like a friend. That's all."

"Then you never had a girlfriend?" Sasuke pries.

"No."

"A boyfriend?"

"No."

"Oh," is all Sasuke says in conclusion.

"I've led a boring life," Naruto admits.

"Is that why you were so willing to take in a stranger?" Sasuke wonders.

Naruto snorts back a laugh. "Yeah, maybe... but I don't regret it."

"Why?" Sasuke asks.

"There's something so damn familiar about you," Naruto whispers, chiding himself for not knowing what it may be. "I've noticed it since we first made eye contact in my office."

Sasuke smiles airily. "I feel it, too. Perhaps we knew each other in another life."

Naruto smiles back. "Yeah, maybe." A pause. "So, do you want to start learning now?"

"To read?"

"Yeah."

Sasuke nods. "Sure."

The two of them get up and leave the room. Sasuke follows Naruto into his office, where he grabs blank sheets of paper and some pens. They move into a sitting room and kneel in front of a round table on the floor. Naruto starts to write out the alphabet and says, "Now, I'm not a teacher or anything... so my methods might not be the most professional."

"That's okay," Sasuke promises.

"We'll start with the alphabet," he says. "I'll write them down first and then you can learn what each letter is called, what each letter looks like and how each letter sounds."

||XxXx||

After an hour of studying, they take a break.

"About my memory..." Sasuke murmurs offhandedly. "Is there any way you'd be able to fix me soon? I want to remember things." He's getting impatient and anxious.

"You don't need to be fixed," Naruto assures him. "You aren't broken."

The look on Sasuke's face says that he thinks otherwise, but he doesn't protest. "You know what I mean."

"I'm supposed to keep you safe," Naruto states. "If I take you out of this house something bad could happen. I don't want to screw up."

"Please..." Sasuke says quietly. He doesn't normally plead, but this is of utmost importance.

"I'm going into the lab later on," Naruto tells him. "I'll bring the drug back and administer the dose here. It's challenging to remove or change memories, but it's quite simple to undo things and bring memories back."

Sasuke's face lights up. "Really? I'll have my memories back tonight? It's so soon..."

"If everything works as it's supposed to," Naruto says with a nod.

"Thank you," the brunet says sincerely.

Naruto can't help but smile. "Thank me when you're back to normal."

||XxXx||

Later in the day, Naruto is gone. Sasuke continues wandering throughout the house. He decides to finish exploring. He moves into the basement. It's dark. He turns the lamps on and walks down the stairs. It's cold and musty, as if abandoned. The large open space is simply decorated with paintings and plain, dark furniture and a piano in the far corner. There's a door in the back. When Sasuke opens it, he sees that it's a wine cellar. He's never drank before. He can't help but wonder if Naruto would mind him trying. He'll ask later.

He sits at the piano, lifting the cover and pressing on a key unceremoniously. It makes a ting sound. Sasuke never played an instrument before. He doesn't know how. He wonders if Naruto can play. He'll ask that later, too.

He moves back upstairs and into the kitchen, leaving though the back exit. It's warm outside and dark as ever. Sasuke looks up at the cloudy sky. It's overcast and foggy. He can't see a damn thing. He shouldn't be outside anyway. Naruto would be angry and he's already risking so much. Sasuke shouldn't make it worse. With that, he returns inside.

He wanders into the living room and looks at the photos again – there's that same image of Danzo Shimura. Sasuke frowns, glancing at the other photos. There are many. Most include Naruto and who Sasuke can only assume is his late father. The rest of the people are strangers to Sasuke's eye.

He lets out a bored sigh, not knowing what to do with himself. He's not used to having free time. He doesn't know how to spend it.

||XxXx||

When Naruto finally returns home, he finds Sasuke in the living room, lying on a sofa. "Hey," he calls, making sure the brunet isn't asleep.

Sasuke sits up and asks, "How was work?"

"Work was... work," Naruto answers. "What did you do all day?"

"Nothing," Sasuke admits. "I walked around your house."

"There isn't much to do around here that's entertaining," Naruto tells him. "Sorry about that."

Sasuke shrugs it off. He stands up and walks towards the shelves of photographs. "Who are these people?" he asks.

"Friends mostly," Naruto says, pointing. "The red haired guy is Gaara. Next to him is his late ex-fiancé... and that there is Shikamaru and his wife, Temari. Temari is Gaara's sister. That there is Kankuro, their brother and there's Hinata, Neji's cousin..."

He continues to list off names and Sasuke comes up with the conclusion that Naruto is quite the socialite. "Oh, wow," he says. "You know a lot of people."

"I'm sure you do, too."

Sasuke smiles cynically. "The relationships I make are far different than the ones you make. Yours are probably friendships. Mine aren't."

"You have no friends?" Naruto asks.

"I wouldn't say that..." Sasuke starts. "I have some, but most of the people I have relationships with aren't my friends."

"Tell me about them," the blond requests.

"Who?"

"Your friends."

For a moment, Sasuke is thoughtful. What can he possibly say? "A girl named Sakura," he starts. "She says I've known her most of my life, but some of that is hazy for me. Sai... he died, though. Kiba died, too. Ino... she'll probably follow them for helping me. She'll be in trouble because of me. Last time I saw her she was running. I hope she ran far."

Naruto frowns sympathetically. "Don't think about that."

"How can I not?" Sasuke whispers. "I think I should. If people died for me or because of me, I don't think I should forget about them."

"Just don't dwell," Naruto warns. "There's a fine line between dwelling and not forgetting. I'm sure these people don't regret helping you."

Sasuke shakes his head, not wanting to think about it. "You have a piano in your basement," he mentions. "Do you play it?"

Naruto nods. "I have a lot of hidden talents."

"Show me?"

"Don't you want me to proceed with..." he trails off, pausing. "Your memories?"

"Not yet," Sasuke says.

"Why?"

"It could change everything," he murmurs. "What if everything changes for the worse?"

"Isn't it a risk you're willing to take?"

"Yes," Sasuke says, "and I will... but I still want to waste the rest of the day."

"Fair enough." Naruto nods at Sasuke to follow him and the two of them go downstairs. Naruto turns on the dim lamps and moves into the room.

"Play something," Sasuke requests, standing in the doorway. Without a word, he watches as the blond sits down and when hands touch keys, he's breathless. "Oh, wow," he says. "You're very good. I've never heard this kind of music before."

"It's classical," Naruto says, stopping. "What kind of music do you know?"

"The kind you dance to," Sasuke says.

"Isn't that classical?"

"Not that kind of dance," he says with a small, mocking smile. "Dancing up against someone," he explains. "Putting on a show – something that will make a man feel good. It's ambient music – the kind that sets a mood."

"Oh," Naruto laughs, feeling foolish for having to ask.

"That's a wine cellar, correct?" Sasuke asks offhandedly, gesturing towards the back room. "Can I try something? I've never tried alcohol before. I'm curious."

"Are you sure?" Naruto asks. "If you like it a little too much, you might get drunk."

"I might not even like it," Sasuke says, weighing each possibility.

Without further hesitance, Naruto grabs a bottle from the cellar. He sets it on the coffee table before going to the cabinet. Fetching a slender wine glass, he fills it mid-way before offering it to Sasuke.

The brunet takes it with a curious glance and takes a slow sip. "Ah..." he says, wrinkling his nose. "I don't think I like it."

"It's an acquired taste," Naruto explains with a little chuckle.

Sasuke sets the cup back down and quickly forgets about it. "Play another song," he requests.

And Naruto does.

"I wish I knew how," Sasuke murmurs, sitting next to him on the piano bench.

"I can teach you something simple if you'd like me to," Naruto offers.

"You don't mind?"

The blond shakes his head. "You've been locked away for a long time, unable to truly live life. It's no wonder you want to experience everything. I don't mind teaching you a few things."

Sasuke gives the other man a grateful smile. "All right. As long as you don't mind."

"See here," Naruto starts, pressing the first key.

||XxXx||

After hours of playing and passing time, the grandfather clock chimes from upstairs.

"It's midnight," Naruto tells Sasuke. "Should we proceed?"

"Yes," Sasuke says. "Let's."

They abandon the piano and go back upstairs. Naruto collects his things and they move to the third floor, walking to the room in the back of the hallway – a room Sasuke has never been inside. He simply assumed it was another guest room.

When Naruto opens the door, he sees a bright, sterile operating room. There is a hospital bed in the far corner and a metal operating table in the opposite corner.

"For emergencies," Naruto tells him.

Sasuke simply nods. The professionalism of it all is making him even more nervous. "Will this take long?"

"Not at all," Naruto promises. "Get on the bed. I'll administer the injection and the memories will return piece by piece within the next three to six hours – it's different for everyone. It depends how much was taken away. It's best to stay still and try not to move, though." Sasuke obeys silently, perching himself onto the cot and waiting. Naruto opens his kit, grabbing a swab and rolling Sasuke's sleeve up. "How do you feel?" he asks, wiping the crook of the brunet's forearm.

"Scared," he admits.

Naruto smiles. "That's okay."

"Is it?"

"Fear can be a good thing," he insists. "It can motivate you, but it can also do the opposite. As long as it's not, you're okay."

"How is fear motivation?" Sasuke asks.

"My own fear motivates me," Naruto admits. "I fear the mistakes I've made. I don't want to make them again. That's why I try to change things. I want to make things better – for everyone."

"Oh," Sasuke murmurs. "I've never looked at it like that before."

"I guess there's a fine line. You just need to be careful and always remember which side you are on. If you get stuck on the wrong side, then it can be a breaking point for you. It'll only cause trouble. I think, in a way, your fear motivated you to ask questions did it not? You were missing parts of your life. I'm sure that scared you and at the same time it drove you to try and figure out why that was the case."

"Yeah," Sasuke agrees. "Yeah, I suppose it did."

"Lie down," Naruto instructs, placing a hand on the brunet's chest, forcing him back. "Ready?"

"Ready."

Naruto raises the syringe, giving it a tap and a squeeze. "Here we go."

The syringe nears Sasuke's skin and he feels it prick him, moving past the surface of skin. He closes his eyes as the drugs push beneath his veins. The sensation doesn't feel quite as intense as he thought it would be. He expected a rush, but there isn't one. Instead, it's quiet and it feels like the lights in his mind are flickering.

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