𝒓𝒚𝒂𝒏'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘

    I HAVEN'T SLEPT AS well in the past few days as I usually due at all. I've been tossing and turning, going downstairs to get water multiple times, and even me ending up pulling all-nighters. Of course, it's not good for my health or mindset at all, but I can't help myself. I haven't always been the best sleeper, but it's been worse than usual.

It usually occurs when I'm stressed out or upset. Which is exactly what I've been feeling recently.

Louis has been M.I.A for the past couple of days, which of course has worried me like it did the other time. He has been leaving me on delivered and hasn't been active on his social media accounts. I know I should be used to it at this point, but his player-tactics have continued to confuse me.

I thought he was just busy, or was spending time with his family, until Daniel sent me a post by Tiktokroom. It showed a picture of Louis and Claire that she posted a day earlier.

Being confused and kinda hurt, I wanted to say something. But, one - he probably wouldn't answer it, and two - there's really no point in it.

If he ever liked me, why would he still be around his ex?

Boys have always been very confusing, girls too I won't lie. But, Louis has been giving me so many mixed signals at this point.

I think anyone would be upset if their tiny crush told them all these kinds of things and didn't acknowledge that they were hurting, but they still continued to flirt with them slightly.

I hate admitting I have a small crush on Louis. But, I think it's obvious at this point, and I'm tired of hiding it.

Although, I will definitely continue to hide it from Louis and my friends.

Him and Claire have been having their
problems from what I've heard days ago and me expressing my feelings will only put another load of stress onto him. And that's something I will never want. He has his own stuff to deal with.

But, today being November 27th, also known as the day after Thanksgiving, I don't need anymore stress on my shoulders as well.

I'm already not feeling the best due to my sleeping habits, and this childish boy drama will only make me feel worse.

I need to worry about having a great time with my friends and family, about eating until I pop once again, and just having fun.

And not worrying about some boy overseas.

"I look so good today," Daniel boasted as he interrupted my deep thoughts. "Mhm, Mhm."

He took a drink of his Dr.Pepper in a glass beside him as Ivy began to laugh. The boy continued to gas himself up jokingly.

Daniel wore a outfit you would definitely see on a teenager these days. It's gray sweater, and some plain black ripped jeans. But, he styled it with some silver jewelry that pulled it together.

We sat at my family's dining table, along with Mariah, and my siblings and their friends as well.

My family has always had a huge dining table due to my very large family. But, it's been perfect for things like Friendsgiving or just regular get-togethers we have now and then.

Mariah spoke up, "Daniel buys some rings and thinks he's Vinnie Hacker-" He kicked her under the table.

I watched my two friends argue, back in forth, as they always do. But, it's obvious the two have some sort of crush on each other. It's been clear since Elementary school.

"Leave me alone." He exclaimed, laughing between his words. Before picking up a small decorative pumpkin on the table in front of him, He gave her a "Shut up" look like he was about to throw it at her.

Mariah drank her Sprite and flicked him off jokingly.

We all continued to enjoy the rest of our meal that my mother and grandmother cooked up the morning prior. My sibling's friends and mine has always loved their cooking.

The meal included leftover turkey and ham from Thanksgiving, stuffing, cranberry sauce, deviled eggs, etc.

My family and I's home was decorated with fall decorations all throughout the walls.

"So Ryan," Ivy commented. "Have you talked to Louis?"

She pulled her blonde locks into a ponytail, using a scrunchie that had been on her wrist earlier. Due to the humid breeze in my house, I honestly don't blame her.

The yellow-toned light above us shined into her blue eyes, I admired them slightly.

Shaking my head, I played with the food on my plate with my fork. "No, I haven't since Sunday."

Daniel scoffed. "I like the guy, but what's up with him?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe he's just busy or something, I don't know."

Ivy spoke up once again with a joke, "It's not like
he's some big time actor or anything, nope."

Our small conversation was ended by my father placing his hand on Daniel's shoulder behind him. The blonde boy tensed up from being frightened.

"Who's Louis?" Dad asked, which lead me to raise my eyebrow at him. He rubbed his newly shaved facial hair, that still had some annoying stubble.

My mom that stood at the other side of the table shook her head and laughed.

"You know who Louis is, Ben." She winked at him.

I looked at her in confusion, but didn't ask any questions considering I really didn't want a whole talk about boys at the dinner table. They never have ended well and have been always embarrassing.

My dad ignored her and kissed me on the cheek, "Whoever he is, he's probably some gross teenage boy who probably doesn't even shower."

I rubbed my face from his itchy stubble rubbing against it. I shook my head jokingly and continued to eat my food.

Small footsteps against the hardwood floors came running into the formal dining room, which of course were Evie's. You could say the name Louis once and she would come running right
around the corner.

Evie ran through the archway, and held her hands on her hips. She wore a blue dress that my grandmother bought her early this morning at a Black Friday sale.

I loved the way the color paired with her glided spiral curls. The dress flowed gracefully as she ran towards our father.

"Louis showers, Daddy!" She gave him a small furious look that was honestly adorable. Her "mad" face continued to look at him.

Our father picked her up and held her on his hip.

"I'm sure he does," He chanted. "But, your sassy ass hasn't so grandma needs you to go get in the bath."

The little girl pouted and the two left the room. A small chuckle left Ivy's mouth.

"I feel like Evie is gonna steal your man," Mariah joked.

Laughing, I rolled my eyes at her, "What man?"

Out of no where, Ivy took her glass filled with Dr.Pepper and held it in the air slightly. Her comedic self looked at us.

"I'm thankful for you guys," She said surprisingly. "Only sometimes, though." Daniel laughed out loud at her. He held his hand in front of his heart, acting as if he was hurt.

"I'm thankful for Mariah when she's not insulting me."

Once again, Mariah flipped him off. She threw her
dinner roll at him. He picked it up off the table and took a bite out of it, and sent her a smart-ass look.

She spoke up, "Ok, Vinnie."

My siblings and their friends continued to have their own conversations as well, they were just as loud and weird as mine honestly.

I raised my glass along with Ivy and we clashed them together playfully.

"Ryan's probably thankful for Louis' message on her chalkboard wa-" I cut Daniel off by kicking him in the shin under the table.

"Y'ALL GOTTA STOP KICKING ME, MY ANKLES HURT."

We all clanged our glasses together, even Margot and Sawyer and their friends tagged along as well.

But, genuinely, I'm thankful to even be alive.

I'm thankful that I have such great people around me, and that they all genuinely care for me and my family.

And even though our circumstances aren't the best right know, I'm thankful for the British boy coming into my life and for already making so much better.

𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺!
i've rewritten this chapter SO
MANY TIMES but i wanted to
get thanksgiving over with. this
story doesn't go off of irl times btw.

idk if i like this chapter or not but
how do you feel about it? tell me if
anything doesnt make sense cause ion
feel like rereading thisDHDJ

once AGAIN, TELL ME IF YOU
HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR THIS BOOK
I WILL LOVE TO READ THEM AND I
MIGHT PUT SOME OF THEM IN

also my sister's girlfriend is dyeing my
hair tmr. do yall wanna see it when ITS
DONE OR

anyways, i love you!! 🤍 thank you
so so so much for 10k! ITS SO CRAZY