What happened to Saturday and Sunday? I never see those days anymore. As soon as Friday comes, it's Monday all over again. Where does time really go? Every millisecond going in God's pocket every day.

After a long weekend of watching serial killer documentaries, it was Monday all over again. When you tell yourself to not watch those documentaries but you do anyway because they're so interesting.

Be honest. You've watched one, or something like it, before and when you watched it, you thought 'Oh, he should've done this or she should've done that instead'. Then become the serial killer in your mind and imagine yourself doing it differently...and getting away with it.

Do. Not. Lie. I know you've done it. Who hasn't? If you have never done it, you're not in your right frame of mind. It's all about strategy. Plan ahead, make sure all your corners are covered, and do not bring that one friend along that's going to point fingers at the end of it all. Ruins the fun.

When going into a documentary, this is how my mind works. Thinking of other possibilities because there's always other ways of staying discreet. Just call me a future serial killer with a plan.

Anyway, what better way to wake up on a Monday morning than your own father calling you at the crack of dawn? Calling at five in the morning with a bright, energetic voice, singing "Good morning, beautiful butterfly! It's a great day to have a fabulous day! How's my sweet girl?"

Dad calls me early in the morning throughout weekdays just to keep me motivated. As a retired vet, he has a lot of time on his hands so he went into the fitness industry. He's always been the one to wake up before the birds sing, always on time, structured, but patient. He never forced me to do anything. I was in charge of my own life and he just helped me along the way.

"I'm up, Dad. I hear you...I'm just...I just....UGH!"

It's a Monday morning. What do you expect? Dad was also nuts if he thought my sleepy ass was about to be peppy and cheerful at five in the morning. He can get up at 1 in the morning, dressed fresh and ready for the day. Fresh to death at any time of the day. Dad never slips up.

"Take your time, sweetheart. You still have time to get up. I just wanted to hear your voice and wake you up. Get you going and keep you motivated."

His sweet words of positivity helped me open my eyes slowly. He's all about the mind being the main part of the body that needs to stay healthy in order for the rest of the body to follow suit. Calling me 'beautiful butterfly' since I was born, singing songs to boost my self-esteem, treating my mom and me like queens, and going above and beyond for us.

Unfortunately, my mom wasn't as inspired by Dad's efforts no matter how hard she tried. I'd like to believe that he's not just instilling this lifestyle into me. He's instilling into his mindset and everyone else around him because of Mom. Keeping his mental health up as well.

"How was your weekend, girly? Please tell me you didn't stay at the house watching documentaries of serial killers."

He would know what my weekends consist of without me informing him. Let's call it a father's intuition.

At the same time, do I have to be honest with him? Yup because he's going to find out that I didn't go on that date. The guy works with him at the nutrition store and Dad's just smart like that.

"Sorry, Dad. Look at it this way. I was technically being productive with my mind because it was constantly moving. What if I went on that date? My brain would turn into spaghetti in the middle of it. It wouldn't be worth it."

Typical Dad sigh. That sigh you get when your parents want something from you but they start to feel as though you're not getting it anytime soon. The sigh that leads us into a different topic or the end of a call.

"Alright, princess. I love you dearly and I know you'll have a wonderful day. Don't forget to kiss your brain for me because your mind's a gem."

Damn, Dad. So corny but so sweet. Not a baby anymore but I get it.

After we said our goodbyes and ended the call, I set up my phone to my shower speaker and it blared my R&B playlist filled with H.E.R., Ari Lennox, and more singers. Puts me in my feelings and in my own little world.

We create these worlds in our minds as a way to escape from reality. Why? Our actual lives aren't always what we want so we visit that space when we need it. It's like being on a mental vacation.

While washing through my lovely black kinks, I thought about what kind of world I'd love to live in. A world where everyone would be happy. Where everyone got along and there were no worries. Smiles on their faces and living their best lives with their loved ones.

Then I realized what would my love life look like in this world. Cassidy's hook up picks weren't contenders for my world. There's no man on this earth that could give me exactly what I wanted but they could come close.

In my world, I'd want a summer romance. Something I could enjoy in the moment and leave behind because having too much of something you want can make you not want it anymore. A drink or two by the sea, a lovely nightcap in a condo with a view of the ocean, a picnic on a beach blanket, a big ass basket of crab legs to eat on at a restaurant by the ocean, and more. Only to go back to my solo world. It's where my peace is.

It's just not that time for me yet. No matter how much my dad and grandmother push the idea, a man is not my top priority right now. I'm still in the prime of my life and I'm not ready to settle down yet. Something about having lover's benefits temporarily without long-term commitments makes me more comfortable.

Just want to be treated like a queen, spoiled with love for a while, and go back to focusing on self. That doesn't sound too difficult, right?

At my age, it's expected to have all of that and more. I should be married and having kids right now, according to society. Playing Baggage Claim and going through everyone else's mess before getting to what you want. That's not what I want. Been there, don't want to go back.

I care about you and your story but I can't be part of it long. Consider me your supporting character until you get enough of me or I get enough of you.

After my shower, I wrapped my towel around me and checked the time. It was about that time to leave the house for work so I paced myself with wardrobe because rushing would only make things worse. Happy fucking Monday.

****

What's up, everybody?

Well, now you all know why Journee is the way she is as far as dating. She's dead set on what she wants.

How do you feel about what she wants for her love life?

What do you all think about her dad? Also, what do you think happened to her mom?

See you guys next time! Thanks for reading!