*TW: Suicide and death.

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It was officially Saturday and I turned in the revised article yesterday. After Cassidy's pep talk last week, I figured, why not just go for it? After placing it in Mandy's box, I left it in Mandy's and God's hands. Not worrying about that paper any longer.

It was like a satire without entertaining content. There was nothing laughable about my work. When I rewrote it, my plan was to call out the faults of the author without doing so. Certain people will read in between the lines and understand. The right people will get it.

Though the process was stressful as hell, thinking about the impact I could've made with the original, I was able to get through it and still think that people will start talking. Still proud of both of them.

Sitting on my porch, I went through the details of that trip Cassidy mentioned last week. There were only two days left until I could give her a definite answer and I haven't thought about it much. Something wanted me to tell her no because we'd be gone for a whole seven days. That's too much beachside. Don't people just stay at the beach for about five days and go home?

That's seven days of sand, seafood, ocean water, fun, and relaxation. Away from the city life and out by the coast. No fast traffic and loud horns. Just the sounds of the ocean and the sun.

Dad always thought I was a beach girl anyway. Plus, who wouldn't want to go and meet some new people? Networking in Florida could make us known to the whole country. Why not take the chance?

I sipped on some juice in my cup and watched my dad pull up in my driveway. He came over to spend some time with me before he and his team went off to Jamaica for business. He hopped out of his car, dressed in pajamas and it shocked me. In the middle of the day, Dad?

Think of a young Idris Elba in white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Hard to imagine, I know, but he looked comfortable as hell. Dad was dark-skinned and Mom was a moderate mocha color. I'd like to think that I took after Dad's skin tone.

"Hey, Baby Doll. How you feeling?" He said as he gave me a kiss on the side of my head and sat on the porch swing with me.

I rested my head on his shoulder and it was like laying on a fluffy pillow. Wrapping my arms around him in a warm hug felt like a warm bed with fresh sheets and covers. His hugs could fill your appetite.

"Not so well. I got a lot on my mind right now. This week has been pretty hard on me."

I explained my problems to Dad and he just listened as he wrapped his arm around me, letting me rest against him.

"Your mom predicted this. She said when you grew up, you'd be a hard worker. You wouldn't take no for an answer and you'd give people hell until you achieved your goals. I didn't believe her, thinking that you'd need your daddy to protect you at all times. Another reason I call you every morning and come see you when I can."

Looking at Dad with my eyebrows scrunched, I continued listening to him speak.

"Listen, Journee. When on a journey, you're hit with changes and negativity but don't conform to that lifestyle. You fight against it and keep going on that journey. So don't worry about this Mandy person and keep doing your job. You have something even greater coming your way."

I smiled at his words and thanked him for listening but have yet to tell him about this trip that's been on my mind. I wanted to get started on the homemade pizzas first before talking about that. It's going to be a long talk for that.

We went inside and started on the food. He wasn't a big pizza person but still participated in making my favorite food. Spinach and banana peppers for him. Pepperoni for me.

"Something else is on your mind, Journee. What's going on?" He had this mysterious look on his face like he was trying to figure me out. If he kept studying, he'd figure it out so, might as well tell him.

Out came all of my concerns about this trip Cassidy proposed and he nodded like he knew it. Being gone for a week, not seeing people I know for a while, having nothing to celebrate/ go on this trip for, wasting money, and more.

"You know that's how your mom and I met?" He keeps talking about Mom for some reason. But what is he talking about?

I thought they were those love birds that met back in high school. They never went into detail on their love story because they thought I was too young. So this was interesting to learn about.

It was his senior year of high school and she was a junior. They met on a summer trip to Hawaii, where Mom is originally from. Dad and his friends stayed there for a month and met Mom along the way.

He talked about all the things they did together while on his trip and some of those things I didn't want to hear about. I don't want to know all the details because he was about to go into detail about their sex life. Nobody cares to hear about how their parents made them, Dad!

Anyway, Dad had to leave her because he was getting ready for college. About two months later, Momma and Granny moved to Kentucky for a change of scenery. After Momma graduated high school, she went off to college to study foreign language. Dad and Momma met up at a local college party and it was basically fate from there on.

Here I am thinking they were high school sweethearts but surprise, surprise. They were technically college sweethearts since Momma went to the same college Dad went to after she graduated high school.

Either way, they were tight at the hip until Dad went away to the army. Momma supported him and still loved him with all her heart but, deep down, she was devastated. She became depressed overtime. I can remember the days I'd come home from school to see Momma on the floor, crying and shouting how angry she was, wishing that Dad would come home.

No number of hugs, letters, phone calls, gifts, or words would help Momma heal. She loved hearing from Dad but he wasn't present in our house during my middle school/high school years. Momma felt so lonely. It took Granny to call Dad and, luckily, Dad was able to come back for a while.

Momma knew that Dad had to go back to work after a few weeks but it was as if her mood changed once she saw him come back to the house. There was that brief period of happiness until the day before he had to go back. Momma committed suicide by jumping off the balcony that was outside their room.

The house was sold because nobody wanted to stay in it, her valuables are at Granny's house or sold, and Dad keeps a scrapbook of his and Momma's adventures together.

This is why Dad is consistently checking up on me. This is why he calls; he drops by, he worries whenever I don't pick up the phone, and he calls me 'butterfly'. Momma's favorite insect and he wants to make sure my mental state is good.

"I think you should go. Why not? You're old enough to have your fun and you work a lot. Give yourself a break, Journee. You have something to celebrate. You're living, healthy, and breathing. You know lives are taken every day so why not celebrate the one God has blessed you with? Why not live it?"

He looked at me with tears in his eyes, probably thinking about Momma, but cleared his throat and fixed his face.

I'll go after that little speech but I wanted to make sure all corners were covered before going on this long trip.

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Hey, everybody!

Just a reminder that the mention of suicide is not meant for entertainment purposes. It's meant to spread awareness and if you are having these feelings, please tell somebody. Even when you feel like someone's not listening, someone is out there to listen to you.

So, now that you know what happened to Journee's mom, do you see a little bit of her in Journee? How do you feel about her? (We ain't done talking about her!)

What about Dad? Do you think that Journee's dad is a little over the top?

And she finally agrees to go on the trip! What do you hope to see?

Thanks for reading! I'll see you all soon!