What other eyes instantly wash away fear?

What other lips send a heart beating into overdrive like a race car?

With her eyes, a look so tender.

With her smile, a grin so majestic.

An instant touch, a collection of soft clouds.

How does she do it?

Addiction in almost a week, craving after these five days.

A want, a need, a desire.

Her laugh, her mind, a real connection.

Articulate, intelligent, and poised.

Real conversations with a silver tongue.

Blink once, blink twice, and she disappears.

My main fear, a regular life I once knew.

How does she do it?

****

"Tripp, are you alright? They're asking you for your drink choice and you've zoned out."

Sitting here, flabbergasted and in my own thoughts as Journee called for my attention.

Thoughts about her; simple thoughts like holding her hand, holding her body close, lightly kissing her on the forehead, and smiling with her as her head rests on my shoulder.

"Aye, bro! Can you order your drink now? You've been looking at the menu for a long time and we still gotta get our food. If you don't know, the whole table has to order before we get the other stuff so chop chop."

A patron hollered at me as I noticed an impatient waitress, tapping her foot against the ground. Her face was flattened and she sighed at me as she continued waiting.

My poetic mind is taking over today. Come back to reality.

Looking over the drink menu quickly, there wasn't anything interesting that caught my eye so a water was fine with me. Plus, alcohol on the first date didn't seem like it was proper etiquette.

But Journee was cool with it as she was face-deep in a Mai-Tai. However, she played it smart with a water on the side.

She chose a Japanese steakhouse that offered fantastic hibachi foods and sushi. The wait time was long as hell, as it generally is. Mix tons of out-of-town visitors and hometown folks that just love the place, you get a packed restaurant for those twelve hours they're usually open.

Anyway, before a table was eventually available, we used our wait time to check out a small souvenir shop right next door and Journee was ecstatic about the little trinkets around the place. My eyes landed on this yellow glass tulip that lied comfortably on a mirrored surface, one of those collectable type of items that could be worth so much over time.

Something about that item reminded me of Journee and I wanted to get it for her. However, my pockets coughed at the overly expensive price on the object. As you can see, poets don't make enough money to buy hundred-dollar collectables.

That didn't bring my hopes down. In fact, it became a goal to get that flower for Journee. I just wish I knew what it all meant, how this specific object was connected to Journee. All I knew was that it was meant for her and that I still had hope, hope that this particular flower would still be here before she leaves.

Journee kept calling me over to see other things in the store and even bought a couple of souvenirs for herself. A notification appeared on my phone, letting us know that our table was ready.

As we left the shop, Journee and I conversed about so many topics. Instead of the typical small talk I used to get from a few dates that the guys set me up on, Journee knew how to hold a conversation. Reminiscing about old television shows we'd watch as kids, singing old songs we grew up on, sharing our family histories, discussing the importance of the arts, and we almost got to dating history until we had to get to our table.

There wasn't much time to get to know Journee while skating with everyone else because she was too busy tending to Darian and her fear of skating. Journee didn't want her to be alone. Talk about having a caring heart.

Although I could've used that time to sit with them, the guys had me on the other end of the skating rink as they got numbers from other women. Why they needed me over there for that? I will never know because all I did was just stand there and watch.

Back to the date. Journee was well-educated and humbling at the same time, two characteristics that made her even more desirable.

"You know something? Kentucky is not as eventful as Florida. It makes sense because of the environments and locations but there's so much here, compared to our little town. I like it because there's so much to experience here. Talk to me about living here."

She peeked at the menu as her head rested on her petite hand. A smile presented itself on her face as if she found exactly what she wanted to eat. The sweetest smile that makes my heart beat a little too fast.

"Well, I've been here all my life and still don't know what's all here. The guys and I all grew up in Clearwater but went back and forth between there and Tampa since it was so close. USF was the only option of college for us so we went there. We went to the oldest high school in the county-"

"Wait, what's USF?"

The confusion on her face was sincere until a quick grin replaced it.

"University of South Florida, but we went to Clearwater High, home of the Tornadoes and-"

Spitting out her drink, Journee chuckled at the fact and said "Not the tornadoes. I can just see you guys coming in to destroy everything in your path, especially your friend, Ryker. That was the perfect school for him."

We both laughed at the joke because she wasn't lying. It wasn't a terrible school but it surely wasn't the best.

"Though it's not the greatest place to live because of all the action, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. I don't think I could move even if I tried. There's still so much more to discover here and even in Florida itself. The excitement, the thrill of it all; that's what keeps me here."

A sincere, light smile gradually shown across her face, assuming how I explained the area sounded good to the ear.

We shared what we wanted to eat with each other and informed the waitress of our choices just so she wouldn't tap her foot again in aggravation.

"So, if someone wanted to make this area their permanent home, would you help them around the area?" An unexpected question came from Journee as we made ourselves comfortable in the booth-like seats.

"In what context? Do you mean if someone moved here from a different state, would I mind showing them around? Because, if that were the case, absolutely. People I'm familiar with get special treatment though. If they're moving just because they need to get the hell up out of wherever they are, I don't mind sharing my space. Can't have everybody in my place, right?"

The flutters that appeared in my heart as she grinned at me had me hoping that she was talking about herself. The idea of her moving here never crossed my mind until minutes after she asked. Although it was a beautiful concept, I ultimately realized that it wasn't a realistic one.

First, we're not that serious with each other. Who knows if this is just a temporary fling type of relationship or if it could grow into something more. Second, Journee seems like the type of person who would move out of a place she's comfortable at. Like myself.

Then again, Journee does have a surprise factor where she does the opposite of what you assumed she'd do.

Speaking of surprising factors, a certain friend of mine popped up with a few of her old dance crew members from high school. The waitress made just enough room for them to sit right beside us. Damn it.

"Trippy, I can't believe you're here. You've been hiding out for a while. After that hit to the head, I figured you didn't want to speak because I didn't do enough to help. Who's this?" Kyra asked as she made herself a little too comfortable by putting her hand on my thigh.

Luckily, Journee was still all smiles as she intertwined her fingers with my right hand's fingers while the fire flames went off from the chef. We were all sitting around the grill, watching the talented cook make our food.

"Journee, this is Kyra. She's an old friend of mine from high school. Kyra, this is Journee. She's my date for this evening."

While introducing the two, Kyra's flirty smile fell as soon as Journee attempted to shake her hand. That's one thing about Kyra; she was the jealous type in every form, surprisingly. From partner to friend, she knew how to run a woman off. One of the few reasons why I didn't talk to many people back in high school.

"Oh really? I figured she was your sister because you both look alike."

Not the jab at Journee. I'll be honest, I've only seen Kyra like this once and this was in college, surprisingly.

Ryker hooked me up with some girl and Kyra saw me on a date with her. Interrupting our conversation, she slid in to catch up which ruined the rest of my date. I saw no problem with it until that same girl ignored my phone calls the next day.

Passing a look over to Journee, she gave off this evil grin and squeezed my hand a bit harder. Yeah, somebody's mad. Got to think of a plan to defuse this tension.

"Actually, her associates and my friends bumped into each other on the beach. After all of that, we started talking and figured we should go on a date to get to know each other some more. Still have a lot to discover about Journee."

Her grip loosened as I went back to look at Journee. That slick grin came back before she turned to watch the chef toss around food.

"Really? Tripp, this is odd because you barely date anymore, especially after college. The only person you've ever been serious with was the person you've had feelings for since high school, if you get what I mean. This is strange."

Kyra watched Journee with an evil eye as she talked to me but Journee was paying no kind of attention. She just watched her food being placed on her plate and smiled in delight.

That was until she gripped my hand again. I'm guessing she heard everything that Kyra said. But Kyra wasn't done...

"Well, I'm glad to see you're on a date and all. The girls and I weren't expecting you but it's nice to see you here. However, do you think that we could hang out at the pier one day and catch up? Reminisce on the good old days? Remember when we were caught kissing in the school parking lot?"

That's when Journee turned to us and widened her eyes and gripped my hand even harder. A pain surged through my right hand as she squeezed so hard.

What would Kyra and I have to 'catch up' on that we haven't already though? It's only been about a couple of weeks ago since the volleyball incident and that was the last time we 'caught up'.

Each time we talked or 'caught up', she was with somebody or not interested. As heartbroken as I was, my lonely and single ass stayed out of the way. Why couldn't she do the same? What's up with this random hostility? The fact that she didn't even look at me when she asked me all of this...

She was watching Journee's reaction.

Even though Kyra was right on me not dating so much due to what happened in high school, writing was how I coped. Writing made the pain go away and made things easier to deal with. Reading helped me meet someone more unique.

"You know what? We don't have to make a big deal about any of this. Let's just eat before we embarrass ourselves, o-"

"That's cute but Tripp and I were talking. Please stay in your place and eat your food."

That was Journee taking over the conversation until Kyra interrupted her. Everybody else at our table watched like they were waiting on a fight. It was so embarrassing. I had to think of something.

The way that Journee watched Kyra with rage, you could see it in her raised eyebrow and straightened mouth. I roughly pushed Kyra's hand off my thigh, just waiting for her to remove it, and it was still there.

"Kyra, we have nothing to talk about right now. Whatever you want to talk to me about can wait. I'm on an intimate date-"

"Can we get to-go boxes please?" Journee asked the chef before he nodded and went for the boxes.

With Journee just tapping her fork on her plate, in anger, it gave Kyra time to say a couple of things to me.

"Look, I know you're hanging out with a friend or whatever but just think about my offer. Okay?"

Before I knew it, Journee had all of the food packed and was ready to go. Don't tell me that was the alcohol taking over her system, Lord, because she was not happy. You can obviously see it on her face, Lord.

Journee exited the booth and went to the service desk before I even got out of the booth-like seat to catch her. She just paid for everything and exited the restaurant. Where was she going when I brought her here?

To-go box in hand, I found Journee sitting on the sidewalk with her box in her lap and her phone by her ear. Sighing roughly, I could hear her talking to someone on the other end.

"There's only so much that one parent can do and Dad can't fix this situation. He'll freak out and shit. Sometimes, I just need my mom to sit by me and listen to my issues, to help me solve problems that only a woman can solve, give me advice in difficult times. Now is one of those times, Momma. Tell me I'm not going crazy, tell me I'm not falling for someone I barely know, tell me that this is all just a dream or something. It's been so long since my first serious relationship and I'd rather not go through that again, Momma. I just need your help."

She was on the phone with her mom and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. That whole Kyra situation sent doubt right into her mind and confused her. She was absolutely mad inside the restaurant. I wanted to step away and let her speak with her mom in peace but the next thing she said told me to stay.

"I had a right to be pissed off after that girl tried to insult me but that's not the main thing that pissed me off. The fact that Tripp didn't cut her off or defend me at all, Momma. Like how do you just sit there and barely say anything? I had to take over the situation and get the hell out of there, Momma. I was about to walk home and everything because I was so mad."

My heart sank. She had every right to be pissed off and I was too busy thinking of how to defuse the situation instead of just doing something about it; defending her. This is probably where Ryker's advice comes about being a man...

But what is Journee's definition of being a man?

"But I'm doing exactly what you did with Dad. When you were here, you'd just walk away when he acted like that. You gave him another chance and he got better with time. As long as she didn't put her hands on me, we're alright. Momma, I can't tell you how much I miss you. I need you but I'm sure God needed you more."

'God needed you more'? Her mom passed away. That's how she coped by 'calling' her on the phone and talking to her as if her mom was on the other end of the line. My heart dropped even more.

She ended the call with her love to her mom and stood up. Turning around, Journee found me standing there in shock and gave me this confused look. I should be the one confused but instead, I was relaxed and understanding of her feelings.

Taking a deep breath, she said "So, that was obviously an ex. Had she not talked to me the way she did, I wouldn't have known."

Fear had crept up inside me as she acknowledged the elephant in the room. That awkward moment with Kyra sent me into a dark pit of frustration now that I knew how Journee felt.

Nodding slowly, my head fell down in guilt until a soft small hand fell in mine and some delicate lips touched mine quickly.

"It's all good but let her play with me again, you better jump in front of me and defend me or she can catch these hands. Other than that, we're alright."

That boldness, that brashness made her even more attractive and helped me gain a sense of that as well.

Not letting go as she walked away, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her gently and slowly.

After that, the date went downhill or uphill, however you want to look at it, from there. Let's just say a peek into the essence of who she really is and a clear road map into the world of Journee was one thing I needed to get closer to the nucleus of her. 

****

Hey everybody!

Okay, I got a little excited so the next chapter's coming in a minute.

What you think he means by getting "close to the nucleus of her"?

How'd you like the chapter? I'll be honest, this was pre-written but, sometimes, you don't like what you wrote down on paper. That's why it may seem like some of this stuff doesn't make sense.

When I go a different direction from the words on the page, I get confused sometimes. So please tell me if you think it was okay.

Anyway, get ready for the next chapter!

See ya in a minute!

Love ya!