Okay. I sort of lied earlier when I said that I wasn't part of a group.

At school I do "hang out" with Janice's Group. That doesn't mean that they are my friends though. Not really. I think of them more as "friendly-acquaintances-who-don't-really-like-me-but-let-me-hang-out-with-them-because-they-are-too-nice-to-tell-me-to-piss-off".
Yea. That kind of sums up our relationship.

There is 6 of them in "the group". I look around and run through their names as I look at each of them.

Janice, the alpha female, with Blond hair and blue eyes, a model citizen.

Cassie, second-in-command. Red hair which matches her fiery personality.

Katherine, tall, lanky and very studious. She always gets Dux.

Thalia, black hair and blue eyes, very extroverted.
Helen, the quiet one of the group, with mousey brown hair and eyes.

Eva, with Auburn hair and green eyes, the teacher's pet.

Alyss is also kind of part of the group, but she also hangs out with her other friends, so she doesn't really count.

Anyway, they are all super nice do-gooders who play Volleyball and always get on the honour roll.
I guess that's why they put up with me, so that they can be seen as the good kids who are all kind and friendly to 'the loner'.

Like I said before though. None of them are my friends. None of them truly care about me.
Not one of them every stays behind and waits for me when I get off the bus. Aside from Alyss, none of them every ask if I'm okay. They never invite me over to their houses or to parties and stuff, even when they've invited the whole group.
I'm sure I catch them laughing at my social stupidity or rolling their eyes when I try to intelligently add to the converstion.

Like I said... whenever I try to join in, I constantly feel like that stupid annoying kid butting into their group and they are just too nice to tell me piss off.

Sometimes I just get so sick of it all.
Sometimes I say something, and everyone gives me a look like I was the stupidest person ever.
Sometimes I crack under this overwhelming feeling of social stupidity and loneliness. I go to the toilets and cry.
But, as usual, nobody notices.

Like today.

It was second break, and I had walked up to their table, blurting out,
"Hey guys!"
I inwardly flinched at my unnecessarily loud tone. I heard them murmur reluctant greetings and felt them eyeing me.
After a while, Thalia asked everyone,
"What is your favourite lolly?"
Everyone else answered but I was initially quiet, trying to think. Eventually I quiered,
"Does Chocolate Count?"
Thalia glanced at the group, scorn in her eyes,
"No".

Still feeling confused, I tried again,
"Does that also include M&Ms?"

This time, nobody even tried to hide their sideward glances and Thalia openly rolled her eyes,
"Of course not. Duh!"
'IDIOT' An echo of her unspoken word of what everyone was thinking.

I ended up going to the toilets and just sitting there, my head in my hands. Silently I screamed at myself,
"WHAT THE FRICK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO STUPID? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE FUCKING NORMAL FOR ONCE!?"

No one would miss me if I disappeared.
Nobody cares.