chapter eight.               various

 The blue kefta was familiar in her hands.

 The fur lined collar, the way it almost reached her feet. Aria remembered when she first got it—within her first week at the Little Palace. She hadn't been there long before she fled off to a small village where a family picked her up to have her work as their handmaiden. When she was almost fifteen, she fled again. Back to Ketterdam, she took only what she had on her back, off into the twisting, crooked place of the Barrel. Aria doesn't remember meeting Nina Zenik before Ketterdam, she doesn't remember her in that crimson red kefta. But, as Aria sits next to the Heartrender on the table, her heart aches. Such a selfless woman, struggling with the effects of jurda parem. Sweat beaded at her forehead as she shook, staring up at the ceiling with dilated eyes. Aria placed her chin on the end of the table, watching as Nina's chest fell and rose again. She had no idea of what time it was, but she was sure it was past midnight.

Nina's head turned to look at her, a smile at her lips. "You're scared for me," she informed. Aria sat up slightly, brows furrowing. "Your heart. I can hear it." Aria swallowed, suddenly very aware of her heart thumping in her chest. It was quick and just as Nina had said, proved she was afraid. "Give me your arm."

Aria handed it over, and Nina rubber her thumb over the Menagerie tattoo and it was gone before her eyes. Nina moved a steady hand towards the branding, meeting Aria's gaze. All Aria did was nod. With a wave of a hand, her skin was flawless, save for the crow and cup tattoo. "Thank you." Aria said, running a finger over the smooth skin. A sense of relief filled her chest. "So, you can hear heartbeats?" Aria asked, leaning on the table, Nina sat up and stretched, hunched slighty.

"Everyone's. And their breathing."

Aria smiled. "Interesting."

There was a few moments of silence, then Nina spoke again.

"You know, you take his breath away."

Aria looked up, confused. "Who?"

Nina cocked her head. "You know, Aria."

Aria shook her head. "You're ridiculous."

Nina shoved her lightly. "I can hear your blood rushing to your cheeks when he talks to you."

"Okay, enough. I'll send Matthias in." The door slammed behind her.

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 There was no sun on the journey back.

 Aria kept to herself in her small room on the ship, save for the occasional visit from Jesper. He'd mostly come in to ask if she'd seen Wylan, only to realize Wylan had been avoiding her, too. A storm had practically swallowed the ship whole, shaking it through the nights. Aria tried her best to sleep through it, trying to avoid even the slightest thought of...him. It was safe to say Nina had scared Aria to death with that certain information. So, she stayed away. She thought it was for the better, they could only be partners, nothing more and nothing less, right? Aria sighed as she watched the outline of Ketterdam get closer and closer as the Ferolind soared through the murky waters. This whole journey, Aria had been wanting to go home more than anything else, so why does she suddenly want to disappear? The orange lights of the town glowed against the darkness of the inky black sky.

Aria fleetingly thought of the idea of sailing for the rest of her life, and she'd take Inej with her. Inej had suddenly gained an interest in all things nautical on their journey back home, she learned all the things she could from Specht and Rotty—Aria would watch from the deck as Inej learned to tie knots and how to rig sails. They would sale the world and see everything—maybe even get into some well needed trouble as well. Aria had pitched the idea to Inej, who wore that dazzling smile and said she didn't mind the thought of it.

Aria made her way to the deck and saw the outline of Jesper's shadow. He was staring at the approaching end to this long journey. Their lives were about to change in a way that didn't even feel real. Aria would be around four million kruge richer. Maybe she would take off and see the world, and maybe Inej would come with her. Aria appeared beside Jesper, leaning against the side of the boat. The orange lights appeared in Jesper's eyes and on his cheeks. "Hey," Aria said softly, nudging him.

Jesper looked down to her, smiling. "Hey."

"Looks just like when we left it, ja?" Jesper laughed at this, commenting she had begun to sound a little too Kerch.

Jesper shrugged, pursing his lips. "This place never changes. Still dirty, still awful. But it's home."

Aria found something was on his mind, and she nudged him again. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know who I want to be." Jesper admitted. He looked at his hands. Aria furrowed her brows in confusion. "I mean, you—Grisha, I mean...it's scary. I don't know if I want to hide forever or use it." Jesper said with a sad tone. Aria sighed and grabbed Jesper's hand.

"Jesper, you're one of my closest friends. No matter what you choose, you know I'll always be there for you. Especially on this."

Jesper smiled. "Thank you."

When the anchor was dropped from the Ferolind, Aria wanted to go with Jesper and Kaz onto land, but Kaz denied her. She was upset, but in time, they came back. Inej came to gather her once they arrived back. Aboard the small boat, Aria was pressed between Inej and Matthias. They were back. Wylan stayed with Nina aboard the ship, but Kuwei had come with. When their longboat touched the shore, Jesper helped Aria out of the boat.

"Alright," began Kaz. "Let's go get rich." He said simply.

"No mourners," said Rotty.

"No funerals."

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 Aria would not be venturing the world.

 Neither would Inej. Inej was gone, taken up by a Squaller on parem and taken away from the Crows. Aria had watched it all in horror from the ground. They hadn't got their money, Van Eck had played them. The money was the least of Aria's worries—she wanted to get Inej back. Aria didn't feel at home in her small little room in the Slat. Everything seemed to be going wrong. Inej was gone, Nina was sick, Wylan was wearing Kuwei's face, and Jesper was the one who talked which started the ambush at the harbor from the Dime Lions. Everything was going wrong. Aria stood at the window as the rain poured outside, it had to have been past midnight. Everyone had gone quiet. Jesper was nowhere to be seen, and Kaz was cooped up in his office already.

Aria swallowed hard and pulled her kefta on, buttoning it. She opened the door to her room and made her way to the third floor. She thought about knocking—then she didn't. She turned the knob and swung it open, allowing the door to hit the wall with a loud bang. Kaz looked startled almost, eyes wide as she gazed at her. His hair was a mess from where his hands had been running through it, and his once neat makeshift desk was a mess.

"Aria," said Kaz.

Aria took a step into his office and slammed the door shut. "What's the plan?"

"I—"

Aria shook her head. "We need Inej back."

Kaz clenched his fists, Aria didn't falter. "Don't you think I know that?"

Aria's jaw went slack, she took another step forward. "I'm going to get Inej back, with or without you. Do you have a plan or not, Kaz?" The words came through gritted teeth.

Kaz looked at her with dark eyes. "Not yet. But, I have ideas."

Aria took a seat. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

emma / 2023
edited: 05/22/23