chapter six. ice court, fjerda

 Aria felt the panic rise in her throat.

 Kaz was still slumped against her, scarily silent as they made it past the first two checkpoint. His body flopped as the wagon jumped and stirred. She tried to move over, to let him have room, but he only slid closer towards her. Her body shook with fear as she fought at the chains that bound her. She could feel Jesper behind her, his boney spine against hers. It was the only thing keeping her at bay.

 Aria brought her bound hands across her lap and jabbed Kaz's thigh. He didn't move. Aria wanted to cry out for him. Aria jabbed again, whispering his name. He shuddered. She drew her face in, whispering again. She heard Kaz inhale deeply. He jolted upwards, scared. "Kaz," she whispered to rouse him from the fear.

 "Aria," he said in as hushed tone as he could manage.

 Aria nodded, despite the fact he couldn't see it. "Yes." she confirmed.

 His breathing was rapid and loud, his heart pounding against his chest. "Keep...keep talking, Aria."

 Aria swallowed hard. "We've entered through the prison gate. The checkpoints went well. Are you..."

 "I'm fine." he whispered.

 When the wagon rolled to a halt, men speaking Fjerdan to each other. Aria's collar was unlocked and she was led out of the wagon with the other prisoners. She heard creaking and shuffles—then the light blinded her, the smell of snow and ice engulfing her. They had entered the courtyard of the prison, and everywhere she looked, there was a guard. Looking at the structure itself, Aria could tell the prison was crafted by a Fabrikator. Beside her, Nina muttered something—then a guard yelled something in Fjerdan and slammed his rifle into her stomach.

 Aria flinched, eyes widening as Inej brought Nina to her feet, but Aria kept ahead and found the same footing as Kaz. "You okay?" Inej asked to Nina in a hushed tone.

 "I'm fine. But I don't think we have to worry about Pekka Rollins' team anymore." Nina replied in a whisper. Aria found where Nina looked to—and she had to suppress a disgusted grimace. Five men were impaled on spikes, one of Eroll Aerts, Rollins' best lockpick and safecracker. Aria watched as Kaz tensed, paling even more.

 They waited as the guards argued with the driver of the wagon. Kaz asked Nina what they were saying. "They're claiming they have a Suli girl instead of a Shu boy. And a Shu girl instead of Kaelish girl."

 "And the driver?" Inej asks.

 "He just keeps telling them it's not his problem."

 Kaz's face lit up slightly. "That's the way,"

 The men continued to argue. Nina translated it all for them, they were to go to the east block and continue from there. Their group was split between men and women before heading into an archway fashioned into the shape of a wolf's open mouth. They entered a chamber where a woman sat, bound by chains. A human amplifier. Aria swallowed hard.

 The woman gripped Aria's wrists tightly—her eyes boring into Ariams. There was a vacant look in her eyes. The woman waved her on. She looked back to her friends—Kaz meeting her gaze. The guard shoved her along and barked at her in Fjerdan, but Aria kept her eyes on Kaz Brekker until she was forced to look forward. Then, the slam of a door seperated them from each other.

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 Aria touched her split lip, blood dripping. 

 She'd only been here for about an hour and she'd already provoked the wrong person. A Fjerdan woman attacked her for simply looking Shu.

 Aria sat against the cold stone wall of the cell, smushed into the small confines with more than fifteen other women. Aria wiped the crimson colored blood on her worn prison uniform, trying to find Nina or Inej in the crowd. She found the coil of Inej's braid at the front, and Nina in the corner. It was now Aria wished she was back in Ketterdam again. She'd only been in a cell a handful of times, and with each time, her fellow Dregs came to break her out. It was only a matter of time before they came this time.

 Beside her, a Kaelish middle aged woman sat beside her. The woman leaned forward and turned to get a good look at Aria.

 "What's your name?" her accent heavy.

 Aria swallowed hard, upping her accent a little. "Ilya," she lied.

 The woman huffed, practically sticking up her nose. "Shu, eh?"

 Aria nodded with hesitation. "Shu and Ravkan," she breathed. Why would she even say that? She grimaced in regret.

 The woman pursed her lips, reaching up to her bloodied lip. "Shu blood, Ravkan blood. Maybe Grisha blood..." Aria watched in suppressed horror as the woman examined the blood on her thumb. Kaelish people were known to drink the blood of Grisha. Aria wanted to run. As expected, the woman sucked the blood right off her thumb. She hummed in delight. "You see, your kind has a certain...taste."

 Aria didn't know what to do. Her fight or flight kicked in. Does she punch the woman or simply get up and walk away?

 The woman went up to touch her lip again. "Don't touch me." Aria growled, seizing the woman's hand by the wrist. The woman laughed, tauntingly. Aria watched as a small pellet rolled towards them. Aria grabbed the woman's finger and bent it backwards until it snapped. The woman began to laugh wildly. "Keep laughing, and I'll—"

 The woman lurched forward to Aria, but Aria rolled to grab the pellet—it was small and slick with what looked like blood. Nina grabbed the waste bucket and Aria dropped the pellet inside. As soon as it started to create a weird chemical reaction, the cell door opened and the three women tumbled out of the cell. Wylan was quick to lock it. Stomach to the ground, Aria looked up—Kaz staring down at her, an amused crease between his brows.

 Wylan offered his hand. "You're okay?" he asked them. The girls nodded.

 Kaz nodded to her lip.

 Aria shrugged.

 After breaking them out, Kaz and Nina went off to try and find Bo Yu-Bayur, while the others went to the basement. The room was hot as soon as they entered, and sweat was quick to form at her brow. Her stomach practically dropped.

 "No, no, no." Aria said, stepping towards the incinerator.

 "No what?" Jesper asked as he entered the basement with heaves of rope.

 "We have a problem," Wylan said.

 "How bad?"

Aria gestured to the incinerator. "Don't you feel how hot it is in here? They ran the incinerator." Aria scoffed. Jesper went to the doors to the incinerator and opened them, and a searing blast of hot air scorched them. Aria took a step back instinctively, eyes closed, bumping into the hard rock of Matthias.

"I thought you were used to the heat, Grisha." Matthias snickered. She gave him a dirty look, but kept silent. Jesper ordered Wylan to toss him a shirt from one of the bins—the sound of Jesper tearing the sleeve off caused her to raise a brow, stepping up to be beside him. She watched as Jesper tossed the sleeve in—it caught flame midair and burned to nothing before it even reached the bottom.

Aria sighed, frustrated.

"Demo is out. We can't take explosives in there." He looked to Inej. "Can you still make the climb?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

Jesper shook his head. "What does Kaz say? Where is Kaz? And where's Nina?"

Aria rubbed her temples. "Kaz doesn't know about the incinerator yet. He and Nina went to search the upper cells."

Matthias glowered. "Jesper and I were supposed to go with Nina."

"Kaz didn't want to wait."

"We were on time. What is he up to?" Matthias asked, irritated.

"He's going to limp up and down all those flights of stairs, dodging patrols?" Asked Jesper.

"I may have tried to point that out to him. Always surprising, remember?" Inej said.

"Like a hives of bees. I really hope we're not about to get stung." Jesper muttered.

Wylan held up clothes from the bin. "Inej, these are our clothes." He held up her little leather slippers. She grinned brightly.

"What do you say, Inej? Can you make the climb?" Aria asked.

"I can." She said confidently.

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 When eight bells rang, Aria panicked.  

 She could hear the muffled sound of the alarm, though she had no idea for what protocol it was, her stomach bubbled with anxiety nonetheless. She stood beneath the shaft in which everyone had disappeared up, but she couldn't even find their shadows. She pushed her sweat-slick hair back from her face with both hands and began to pace. This is not how it was supposed to be going. She'd stayed with Jesper, while everyone else had disappeared up the rope. He yelled at her to go but she demanded to stay. He couldn't argue, her presence meant a lot. It was just them alone in the sound of the incinerator with guards marching and yelling above their heads. Aria prayed they wouldn't come down. They'd be done if they were found out. When the doors burst open, and Nina came charging in, Jesper and Aria stood.

"Go!" She cried. "What are you waiting for?"

"You!" Jesper spat. "Where's Kaz?"

Nina froze momentarily. "I hoped he was with you." She said as she vanished up the rope.

Aria swallowed hard and moved to follow Nina, trying to find something in Jesper's eyes. He held a hand to signal her to stop. The door burst open once more, and then came Kaz limping in. His shirt was covered in blood, and his hair was a wild mess. "Kaz!" Aria said, relieved.

"Hurry," he ordered.

Aria bit her tongue and went up the rope, feeling the burn of it blistering her palms. The rope trembled as the three of them began to climb over the hot coals, Aria began to shake as her muscles grew tired. Rain began to fall, worsening her grip. If she fell, she'd take Kaz and Jesper with her. Guilt filled her throat as she willed herself to keep climb despite her body screaming for her to stop. When she saw the grey sky, she could've cried. The cool air was the best part—Saints, she felt the tears. She could see Matthias and Wylan looking down at her, Wylan wore a smile. When she was close enough, Matthias seized her shoulders and hauled her out. Aria fell to the roof, laying on her back. Her hands bled. Wylan appeared over her and knelt down slightly.

"Hello, Aria," he greeted, offering a hand.

Aria took it, grimacing at the feeling. "Hello, Wylan."

Once Kaz emerged from the chimney, he ordered them towards the Embassy roof. They made their way to the dome shape, finding Nina and Inej sitting. Inej's feet laid in her lap. Aria furrowed her brows. Then she noticed it was the remains of her shoes, melted to the soles of her feet.

"Help her," Kaz ordered to Jesper.

"Me? You don't mean—"

"Do it."

Jesper swallowed hard and crawled towards Inej—he held out his hand and focused. Aria watched with wide eyes, and Nina was gaping. "You're a Fabrikator?" They said in unison.

"Would you believe me if I said no?" Asked Jesper.

Aria furrowed her brows. Something in her hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked?"

"Jesper—" Nina began.

"Just leave it alone," Jesper ordered. He refocused on Inej's feet and grimaced. "Saints." He breathed.

Inej slumped. "That bad?"

"No, you just have really ugly feet." Jesper said.

Inej cracked a smile. "Ugly feet that got you on this roof."

When the alarm ceased its ringing, Aria allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief.

"What happened at the prison? What triggered the alarm?" Wylan asked, leaning against the dome next to Aria.

Nina swallowed. "I ran into two guards."

Jesper looked up from Inej. "You didn't put them down?"

"I did. But one of them got off a few shots. Another guard came running. That's when the bells started." Nina said.

Aria huffed, crossing her arms. "Damn. So, that's what set off the alarm?"

Nina shrugged. "Maybe," she turned to Kaz. "Where were you? I wouldn't have been in the stairwell if I hadn't wasted time looking for you. Why didn't you meet me on the landing?"

Kaz was turned, looking through the glass of the dome. "I decided to search the cells on the fifth floor, too." He admitted.

Aria felt anger rise within her, but Jesper beat her to it. "What the hell is this?" Jesper began, finishing with Inej and stood, walking to tower over Kaz. His grey eyes lit with anger. "You take off before Matthias and I get back, then you just decide to expand your search and leave Nina thinking you're in trouble?"

"There was something I needed to take care of." Aria shook her head at his response, walking towards him. His eyes cast to him. Guilt bubbled in Kaz's chest at the look in her eyes.

"You can't say that. It isn't an excuse. We are all here risking our lives at your request, Kaz. You can't just say that, leave us out on what you were really doing. It's not good enough."

Kaz swallowed. "I had a hunch. I followed it."

Aria let out an exasperated scoff. "A hunch?" She ran a hand through her hair. She wanted to scream.

"I made a mistake, alright?" Kaz growled.

"No," Inej stated calmly. She stood. "You owe us an explanation."

After a moment, Kaz turned to them. "I went looking for Pekka Rollins."

Aria let out an exasperated sound—she had to walk away. She walked halfway around the rotunda and slumped down the side of the dome, holding her head in her hands. Stress overfilled in her eyes and she let out tears of frustration. She didn't even care that the rain was pouring over her, causing her to shiver. When a soft hand pressed to her shoulder, Aria looked up to find Wylan. He gave her a sympathetic smile and sat next to her, tucking his bare feet underneath himself. Aria laid her head on his shoulder. She found a friend in Wylan, someone to relate to. Aria, in all honesty, felt somewhat like a little bit of an outcast from the rest of Dregs. She just didn't really fit the puzzle. Wylan felt the same.

"We're moving out. Kaz is waiting on you." Wylan stated.

Aria shrugged, then sniffled. "I don't want to talk to him right now—what's the plan, Wy?"

Wylan sighed. "Inej and Nina are entering the party with the Menagerie." Aria sat up at this, eyes growing even more sad. She looked to Inej, she looked steady from where she sat. "I'll go with."

"Kaz wants you to stay with—"

Aria stood, wiping the back of her hand on her nose. "I'll go with Nina and Inej into the party. He's not deciding for me right now."

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 Aria looked down at herself.  

 She dawned raspberry colored silks, supposedly dressed as some serpent native to Shu-Han. The tattoo of the Menagerie laid on her arm, but both her other markings had been messily tailored away by Nina. Aria looked down at the Shu girl that had been put to sleep by Nina. One thought lingered on her mind. Kaz Brekker had stopped her before she disappeared into the building, her wrist in his gloved hands. He swallowed hard, almost retreating when she looked down at the grip. The two stared for a moment, her eyes wide. "If we don't make it out..." Kaz began. Aria had shaken her head. Slowly, her hand ghosted over his cheekbone, and she barely grazed her fingertips over his skin, she hadn't even made full contact. He didn't move. Kaz felt the waves crash over his feet. He still didn't move.

"Don't you start with goodbyes, Kaz. No mourners," Kaz gave her a nod, eyes alight with someone she found almost unfamiliar. She wanted to bask in it.

"No funerals."

By all means, Aria was still very upset at Kaz's reckless antics—but there was no use of fixating on it when there was much bigger tasks at hand.

The three girls fixed their outfits in the room after shoving the real Menagerie members into tall silver wood cabinets. Inej was snickering at Nina's outfit. "Maybe a mermaid? Or a wave?" Inej suggested.

Aria cocked her head to the side. "I thought you were a horse?" Aria asked.

Inej nodded. "She is. But they weren't going to dress her in hooves and a mane."

Nina smoothed her hands over her outfit and spun. "I'm about to be very popular."

"I wonder what Matthias would have to say about that outfit?" Inej asked.

Nina smiled. "He wouldn't approve."

Inej chuckled. "He doesn't approve of anything about you. But when you laugh, he perks up like a tulip in fresh water."

Nina snorted. "Matthias the tulip."

"The big, brooding, yellow tulip." Added Aria.

Nina turned to Aria. "And what about Mister Brekker, Aria? I heard he has a taste for the color red!"

Aria's cheeks flushed. "Oh, shut up!"

Now, Aria walked throughout the party with unease. She felt anxiety bubble in her stomach as men gave her disgustingly seductive looks. They stared at her rear and her cleavage, and Aria felt like meat to them. Inej had been seized by the guards for looking too suspicious. It was just Nina and Aria, now. Something about the way everyone looked at her made her even more insecure before. Her whole body was on display to them, they were seeing her as the Shu girl. She was pretending to be everything she wasn't. She was scared and uncomfortable. She was left alone to mingle with guards in here, trying to rig out some information on where Bo Yul-Bayur might be held. But Aria couldn't even will herself to do that.

Something turned within her stomach, she felt sick. She knew her complexion was paling, and a cold sweat began to break at her forehead, most likely ruining the golden powder she'd just placed there. She felt another round of tears pool at her tear ducts, and she damned herself for being so...sensitive.

Across the room, Kaz Brekker watched Aria Antonov. He examined her from the distance, coal colored hair combed into a neat style. She wore a beautiful dazzling beaded dress—but it was a anything but Aria. Her arms covered her chest and she avoided everyone that walked near her. Her eyes shifted, then they found Kaz. Her shoulders relaxed at the sight of him. He managed a small smile and gave her a nod. Her shoulders rose, confidence forming. Aria wasn't alone. She returned the nod. With that, Aria disappeared into the crowd. The next time he saw her, she was flirting with a guard, who's cheeks were flushed pink and he'd long forgotten his drink for her. Something unsettling sparked in Kaz. He didn't like the look of the man. Of course, Kaz thought. He was the enemy. Then, the realization hit.

Kaz Brekker looked to Aria. His memory flashed to earlier. "I want you to know..." What was he going to say? What words would even form the thoughts he had of her? There weren't words. Kaz swallowed hard as the man placed a hand on her face, thumb brushing over her lip that was split mere hours ago. He couldn't see the guards face, but when Aria found his gaze, he could've run to her. He would've pushed everyone away to get to her.

Kaz sighed and turned away for his own good.

emma / 2023
edited: 05/22/23