"The Greatest Obsession" - Heather Ramsburg

Summary:

Elijah Marks has always dreamed of marrying the love of his life, Irina Snow. His dreams will be coming true and in the upcoming months, he'll be a happily married man. His plans are thwarted at the arrival of a stalker in the night, who leaves Elijah with bloody bites and wounded confidence. In an effort to capture the monster and prove to his soon-to-be father-in-law that the stalker is not human, he allows the being into his room to be caught in the act. It is Elijah's greatest mistake that leads to his greatest obsession.

Initial reaction:

You're correct that the first five chapters are only a taste. I thoroughly enjoyed reading them! I'm instantly transported into the 1888 supernatural Victorian reality. The suspense and eerie tone begin in the prologue and the tone creeps up within the chapters. I'm on edge to figure out who the vampire is. Their identity. It's fantastic!

Strengths:

1.     Details/Descriptions: I'm fangirling over the narrative's perspective and explanations. The elongated and elegant sentences and word choices. As a reader, I can imagine each character, setting, and the character's mannerisms. For example, chapter one, when the readers meet Elijah, "a doe-eyed, rosy-cheeked man" and "He pushed a piece of his brown, damp, and long hair around the shell of his ear with shaking fingers." Like, I freakin' giggle and can see the characters are themselves.

2.     Pacing: This element helps with the plot. The timing has to be seamless and the readers have to believe in what's occurring in the story. I believe every reaction, the hidden mysterious and supernatural aspect, and the marriage season. As a reader, I get to taste the plot and subplots. Also the pacing draws in the reader, the hook keeps the reader wanting to know what'll happen next.

3.     Characterization: Each scene the readers experiences the characters: Irina, Abraham, Arthur, Elijah, and mysterious vampire. I thoroughly enjoy being introduced to Irina. Her passion and motivation about motherhood; she wants to spend time with her future children, this is shown in chapter two. The dialogue displays her heart and soul, especially speaking to Elijah. It's fantastic! I connect to the characters.

Recommendation:

Passive tone: Periodically within the first five chapters, there are sentences are written in a passive tone. Passive tone is the subject receives the action. Sometimes, the passive tone uses by and of. For example, in chapter two, "Not a sound made by man could be heard, only the quick chirp of a bird or the rustling of the summer breeze in that whistled in his ears."

I know this is a small detail. I wanted to help out in any way. I also understand to keep some of the passive tone because during Victorian Era, novels and speech had longer words and sentences. The passive tone can emulate the feel and sensation 1888 year.

This is all a recommendation to help engage the readers more.

I hope this helps! Thank you! Please let me know about the feedback; I love to improve with giving feedback. 😊

~ Fallon Elizabeth ~