"The Woman Who Ruined His Life" - Agatha Lambert 

Summary: 

20-year-old Ashley Fisher lived in the moment. To her, the future was a foreign concept and that instead, one should focus purely on the one-time opportunities that life was handing her every day.

One reckless decision changed all that.Now, three years later, Ashley finds herself all alone and under Sean Traylor's - her brother Collin's best friend - protection with nothing more than regrets.

Struggling to make a living and to find her place in the baking world, she discovers that there's only one thing she can do to leave the past behind and make peace with herself: proving to Sean that she is worthy of his forgiveness-and maybe more than that-even though she was the woman who ruined his life.

Initial reaction: 

It's fantastic! As I read the chapters, the pace is smooth and flow into the next chapter. I feel the pace is ideal; the readers are introduce to the main character, Ashley, Haru – her best friend, Sean, Samuel, and Lydia (co-workers), also Collin (Ashley's brother). Most importantly, I feel like I know them instantly. I know what their passions, mannerisms, and ticks. I really enjoy reading the five chapters! 

Strengths: 

1. Body language: Dialogue is key within stories unless the point of the story is not to use dialogue. The communication displays characterization, their motivation, passion, interests, and can aid in plot or subplots. I'm in love with the description in body language. For example, in chapter one, when Ashley and Sean meet in the office: " 'What client is it?' I asked, deterring my gaze from his and focusing on my burning hand instead. I'd need some unguent for it. 'Ariadna Salomon,' Sean said and then added." This shows the readers that Ashley doesn't want to confront Sean. Sean's pause demonstrates he has a lot on his mind and wants to throw all sorts of information to trip up Ashley. I get excited because I can imagine and see the character clearer with the body language or action. It's fantastic!

2. Narrative:  The first-person narrative in Ashley's eyes highlights her internal conflicts perfectly. First person strengths personal views. Also, the readers are consistently within the main character's mind. First person can play with the idea of unreliable narrator, which the readers find out quickly that Ashley is a reliable narrator. She's her own worst enemy. She instantly puts her thoughts onto the other characters because she tries to understand the situation. We can relate to Ashley with her desires, dreams, work, and herself critic. The narrative is great!

3. Balance with plot and subplots:  With the plot and subplots, readers takes in all the information. Sometimes subplots could feel forced or an "add on." This story does not undergo that at all! The subplots move smoothly to the main plot, Ashley's conflict is an internal conflict – "Am I worthy enough to persuade my dream?" The subplot mystery element focuses around "what happened that night?" and "why does Sean hate Ashley?" The subplots create a drive/reason for the main plot, the readers engage to figure out the reason and observe Ashley's behavior along with the other characters. It's really good!

Recommendation: 

This suggestion would be to focus on the plot mystery element. Questions formulate in my head, "What happened that night? How did it happen?" The readers feel the tension throughout the first five chapters, and I bet later on too. Maybe hint one or two tiny details more, a possible lead is how certain smells make Ashley nauseous because it reminds her of that night? 

Other questions pop up like "Did Ashley bake something that night? Did she gain her passion before or after the incident?" And I kind of want to get one hint more about Collin's character. I'm definitely interested. I'm sure other readers are too!

I hope this helps! These are some questions to think about and to polish the mystery elements. Let me know if you have any questions. I love any feedback on the feedback. Thank you! 

~ Fallon Elizabeth ~