"Dynasty-the Assassin and the Demoness||book 1 of the Dynasty Chronicles" - QQxNoelle

Summary:

"telling their stories doesn't betray the memories, it keeps their spirits alive."

~

Lyaena Mararing is an assassin, a well-known one in Teross, a rival land of her homeland, Myrn. However, the country lost its title as her home thirteen years ago when Lyaena and her father were banned. However, when news reaches that the King of Teross was plotting against Myrn, Against everything, Lyaena sneaks away to warn her once homeland plus receiving a letter from her mother.

Would she succeed with everything staked? With the strands of her life in the hands of a demon? Should she fail on obtaining the Letter, a war between the three different worlds and two countries would alternate history's path, and that one Letter might change everything forever.

Initial Reaction:

** Warning: Spoiler Alert **

Whoa man! The readers are instantly teleported to a new realm where we meet Lyaena! She's a totally bad-ass! She's trained her whole life; we learn about her backstory and her relationship to Falko - her father. Then there's her alto ego, which is a demoness that apart of her; basically there's two entities within one body. As the story continues, the readers learn all about the worlds. We learn about Lyaena's and her alter ego's (Kasdeya) motivation. Will they accomplish what they both are striving for? I don't know! There's so much tension and mystery to it. We'll have to find out and see.

Strengths:

1. Setting: Instantly, the readers see the new world. I love the fact the first few sentences hone in colors; in chapter one, it starts off with "two bodies were hauled in, painting theexpensive, red, embroidered carpet with a brown-velvet coat, a mixture of bloodand mud." Red and brown, then shortly afterward we see silver as well. Those colors give off hints to the reader that violent and messy moods will be explored within this story. This excites me because, as a reader, I receive what the story will focus on, get to connect with the characters, and colors give readers a vivid and clear picture. We can see what the characters are seeing. So good!!

2. Research: I adore the dedication to information and research for your story. It shows especially in chapter three. The author's note helps tell us that you've done research; I believe the story displays it better. The fact that the readers dive into another world, different from Lyaena's realm: The Netherworld. The sentences are written elegantly. The style adds a smooth and simple flow; I did not feel overwhelmed with all the new terms and monuments. An example, from chapter three, "across the scorching River Ehella and past the frozen Garden of Misery, it's statues of stuck souls decorated the empty courtyard that stood displayed for a palace of stone and flesh, was Otious, the Fortress of the Lost." I have little knowledge of the Underworld; I learned a lot within these chapters, the descriptions is amazing! I could see what the monuments are like; this helps connect the reader to the story. The research you did is excellent!

3. Details: I kind of touched bases with descriptions and details in the "research" strength. However, I feel that "details" deserve its own paragraph. Throughout the entire five chapters, I fan-girl over all the small details. The way it sets up the scene and describes for the readers, it's simply amazing! For example, in chapter five, when Lyaena fights Rafeal, and "Rafael threw one of his knives, aiming for theloose baggy part of Lyaena's tunic. It met is mark, locking the female assassinon the cold marble." The fact this detail connected to his dialogue adds an element to his character. He focuses on attack with precise strike all the while he flirts with Lyaena. Hahaha, I really enjoy the whole scene! The details are fantastic!

Recommendation:

One suggestion would be to the flow within the story. I've noticed some moments when the narrative goes back and forth between characters, the flow seems a little confusing. I read the beginning part two times because I got confused with who was which person. For a moment, I thought Falko was the one who brought in the two bodies.

"His name was Falko Mararing. He had pale hair that had once been blonde and cutting emerald eyes rimmed gold.

'Sit.' The man spoke, his voice rough and thick."

For some reason, I was read it that the mysterious cloaked figure and the man were the same person. I realize my mistake when I read it the second time.

Perhaps, separating the two characters in two different paragraph could help this out. I like the mystery build up on the cloaked figure. The tension is there. I was confused for a moment. Another suggestion could be to change "the man spoke" to "Falko spoke." So then, the readers would know Falko is the man sitting in the chair.

Thank you so much for this amazing story!

I hope the feedback helps!

~ Fallon Elizabeth ~