After such a revelation at work, I was relieved to have a little time to myself between Ashdown Properties and the Mason's. Vanessa Mason was one of Emmalynn's friends. She had kids that were about the same age of Em's, so they were having a short playdate today between school getting out and coming to my house so Mom wouldn't have to worry about them.

Damon hadn't said his usual goodbye to me. Someone mentioned he was still in his office, probably trying to figure out what to do about getting Milly an assistant as quick as possible. That was probably for the best. I didn't know how I would be able to keep from blushing around him now that I knew what everyone else in the office thought.

Does he really like me? Everyone is just guessing—he might just want to flirt. Some guys are like that. How am I going to be able to see him at work every day knowing I have a crush on him? It's a bit embarrassing, especially since everyone else knows. Does Damon know they know? I'm not ready to step into a relationship, regardless of whether I have a crush on my boss or not. I already had this discussion with myself. My life is too messy to add someone else into it. I can't believe I've been flirting with him. I should have better control over that. I shouldn't start things I'm not ready to continue. I'm such an idiot.

I pulled into the Mason's drive and put a smile on my face when she answered the door with my nieces and nephew. "Hi, Vanessa. How were the kiddos today?"

"No complaints here," she said, grinning down at the little ones. "We made some cookies to send home. There are a few for you, for Emma, and some extra for them to snack on tonight. I hope you guys enjoy yourselves."

"We always do. Thanks." I herded the kids to my car, the sounds of all the kids shouting goodbye following us. "All right, you guys," I said when we were all situated. "Who's ready to go see Grandma?" They cheered enthusiastically, hyped from all the sugar they must have eaten while making the cookies. They chattered the entire ride home, but I didn't mind. I was surrounded by quiet most days; it was a nice change of pace once a week to have some noise in my car and at home.

When we pulled into the garage, all three of them were out of the car and piling into the house through the garage door before I could collect my lunch bag and satchel. They cried happily when their grandma met them somewhere in the house.

When I finally got inside and shut the door with my foot, I heard Hayley ask, "Who's that, Grandma?" I came into the living room after dropping my lunch bag in the kitchen and had to stop when I saw we had an extra guest.

Damon was standing next to my mother, surrounded my nieces and nephew. It was like seeing two different pictures torn in half and stitched together to make a disjointed scene. Damon, who I only saw at work, who was exclusively a part of my work life, was standing next to some of the most important people in my home life who didn't mix with my work at all. He looked so casual about it, hands respectfully by his side, a smile for the children, a smirk at me when he saw I was dumbfounded by his presence.

Why is he here? How did he get here? I'm sure he has my address in a file somewhere. But why is he here on a Wednesday evening? I just saw him at lunch time. "Uh... D-Damon. What are you... doing here?" I managed to stammer out a couple sentences.

"Hello, Alessandria." His red eyes were glittering mischievously, as if he knew the turmoil he had caused. "I have something I wanted to talk to you about."

My heart pounded a little harder. He wants to talk to me. Does he want to be in a relationship? No. No, no, no. That's too far too quick. There is no way that's what he's here for. It must be a work thing. He didn't need to come in person though. "Oh. You could have just called. You didn't have to come over."

He shrugged a little. "I wanted to. Besides, important conversations should never happen over the phone."

Important? "Uh... okay. Yeah. Mom, could you get the kids to bed?"

"But you always put us to bed, Aunt Andi," said Roy with a touch of pout to his lips.

"Not tonight, sorry." I gave each of the kids a hug and a kiss before saying goodnight and sending them off with my mom, who was making incredulous faces at me. I shrugged back, not sure what to tell her.

"Goodnight, Andi," she said, beginning to walk down the hall. "It was nice to meet you, Damon."

"Lovely to make your acquaintance as well, Mrs. Sharp," he said, practically dripping charm with every word. When she was gone, he turned to me, making my heart jump again as he smile. "Hi."

I wasn't sure what to say for a second, but settled for "hi" as well, even though we had both already greeted each other. "Do you want to sit down?"

"That would be great." He sat on the couch while I claimed my dad's old La-Z-Boy. "You've probably heard that Milly's assistant, Amaryllis, was fired earlier today."

I nodded. "Xiyang told me."

"Of course he did. Well, that leaves Milly in a tight place because she truly does need the extra help Amaryllis provided. I have my own things to attend to, so I won't be able to assist, ergo I need a new helper for her ASAP if I want to keep things running smoothly in my office." He paused for a moment, clearly expecting a reaction of some sort from me, so I hummed in the back of my throat to show I was paying attention. Satisfied, he continued. "So, I want to move you to Amaryllis's spot as Milly's assistant."

I blinked, trying to regain my bearings on reality. Did he just promote me? Is that considered a promotion? I think it depends on if I get a pay raise or not. A raise would be good for paying the hospital bills. "You want... me... to be Milly's assistant?"

"That is what I said."

"Shouldn't someone else do that?" Why did I say that? I want this job! Why would I want anyone else to do it?

He looked amused. "Like who?"

"I don't know... Viveca, or Xiyang, or Asa. Someone who's been here longer than me," I muttered. It doesn't make sense to have the person who has been here the shortest amount of time get a promotion. I don't want anyone to be mad at me for taking it away from them.

"Everyone who else has already been in their positions for year, I need them there."

"Then why don't you hire someone?"

"It's a long process. Besides, this will be a good experience for you, branching out into assistant. You'll learn a lot about business from Milly. And," he threw in a dashing smile, "you'll get to be around me more."

My mind flashed to the conversation at work about Damon and I. Now they're really going to think we're dating.

"So?" he said.

"All right, I'll do it. If that's what you think will work out the best."

His eyes skimmed over me briefly. "Most definitely."

Is he flirting? Or did he get distracted? Do I have a stain on my shirt? I glanced down but nothing was on my blouse or pants. "Why didn't you talk to me about all of this at work?"

"By the time I figured it all out, you had already left. I thought it might be nice to drop in and visit you. Your mother is very kind, by the way."

"Thanks..." Is he going to leave now or just stick around in awkward silence? Does he want something else? This wasn't as important of a conversation as I had been expecting. I'm glad to have the new job, but surely he didn't come all the way here just for that? Frankly, my conversation with Viveca, Xiyang, and Jane felt more significant. I won't get to work with Viveca anymore. She'll have to go back to doing things by herself. Damon thought of that, didn't he? Or is he just going to let her figure it out? That doesn't sound like him.

"That's cute," Damon said suddenly, cutting into my straying thoughts.

I thought he might have been talking about something in my living room, but he was looking directly at me. "What?"

"I can tell when your mind wanders. Your eyes become very dreamy and distant. I find it quite... endearing." His slick grin told me he knew exactly what the compliment did to me, which was shift my brain into overdrive.

What? He thinks that's cute? He thinks I'm cute? He's gotta be flirting. Why else would he say that? Does he want a relationship? Does he want to go on a date at least? How weird would it be if he just proposed right now? No, he's not going to do that. People don't just propose out of nowhere to someone they only known for a month. Then again, he is a vampire. I don't know how things work for them. I can't believe he said that. Am I supposed to say something back? Compliment him? Flirt? Ask him what he means? Am I endearing like someone he wants to pursue or like a cute dog? Do my eyes really look dreamy when I daze out or is that just his perception?

During my stunned silence, Damon casually stood and walked over to me, leaning slightly over the La-Z-Boy as he tucked his hands into his pockets, grinning like a cat with a canary. "See? Cute." He glanced over his shoulder. "Did your mother go to bed?" I nodded mutely. "Good. We have a few more things to discuss." He placed his hands on the armrests of my chair, dipping back and down so we were eye level. His face was so close I could see my reflection in his shining eyes. His clothes didn't smell of cigarettes, like usual, but instead of something clean, like Downy or Tide. It could be because he wasn't wearing his suit jacket, which he usually wore when smoking.

"Damon... what...?" I managed to whisper after a long moment of studying each other's faces.

"I think you know," he said. "We've been doing this for nearly a month now. Aren't you ready to... move forward?" He leaned in, his steady, shallow breath mingling with my warm, quick one.

I want to kiss him. No! I can't kiss him! That would be wrong. Very wrong. We're not even dating; it would be weird to kiss him. Is he going to kiss me? I think he's going to kiss me. I can't let him. I'm not ready. We're not ready. My hands came up to brace against his shoulders just as he started to incline towards my face. "Damon..." I whimpered again.

His eyes, which seemed deeper than ever, noticed my uneasiness and he pulled back a little. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head slightly, unable to look anywhere but his concerned eyes. "We can't..."

Those pools of red softened even more. "Why not?"

My heart was thudding so hard against my chest I was sure he could hear it. "We're not... I can't... I'm not... ready."

He leaned back a little more. "You're not?" He seemed confused, and a little sad. I shook my head. "What... what's wrong? I thought that we were.... All the signals seemed to indicate that you wanted this as much as I."

My face was warm, bringing an embarrassed mist to my chestnut eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how far this had gone. I thought... I don't know. I'm not ready for a relationship. I didn't think you were either."

Damon chuckled humorlessly through his nose, standing straight so he had to look down at me. "I'm as ready for a relationship as I have ever been in the last two hundred years. I've dated a lot, Alessandria, a lot of vampires, a few elves, even two humans, but they're not like you. Something about you draws me in and makes me sure I will never want anyone else. You amaze me, because I haven't wanted to date any human for a very long time."

I managed to stand so we were about eye level. "I'm sorry," I said again, my voice tinged with misery. "There is just too much in my life right now. I can't add anyone else into the mix. I don't want to drag someone down into my family drama. It's too much for me."

He studied me for a moment. "But if your family wasn't in such distress right now you would... go on a date with me?"

My heart jumped with excitement, but my logic stamped it out. He's not asking me out. And if he did, I would have to decline. But how do I explain to him? I like him, I really do, but I just can't have anything else in my life. It wouldn't be fair to me, Mom, or Damon. I would love to go on a date with him. Just not now. It's not fair to ask him to wait for me either. We haven't gone out before; he has no reason to be loyal towards me.

I couldn't come up with an answer for him, but he smiled. "That's all I need to know. I'll see you tomorrow. Eight o'clock at Milly's office. I'll be sure to tell Viveca that you're transferring." He hesitated for a moment, undecided on something, but he said nothing more than, "goodnight," and went to the door, grabbing his suit jacket on his way out.

I stood at the window and watched him go. He almost kissed me. His car lights blinded me momentarily as he drove away. I didn't know much about cars, but I was sure it was a good looking one. Damon almost kissed me. The flush never left my face as I sat down on the couch armrest. I think I would have liked that. I wonder what it feels like? Doesn't matter. I'm not going to date him. It might be years before I get everything sorted out for myself and my family. I don't want anyone waiting around for me; that's just more pressure and stress on myself. I wish... What do I wish? That I could date Damon? That I had the guts to kiss him? That my family wasn't so problematic? Yeah, I wish all those things. I wish my life was easier. I wish Dad hadn't died. I wish Mom hadn't gotten sick. I wish Delilah would stop trying to get rid of Mom. I wish someone would take responsibility around here. I planted my elbows my legs and rested my face in my palms, feeling warmth gather between my eyes. I even wish I would never have met Damon. I wouldn't have to worry about flirting with him, or kissing him, or dating him. I wouldn't have these ridiculous feelings for him that I wish would go away so I could have some peace. But I also wish I could marry him. Or at the very least date him for a while. The regret, the aching for a different life, became too much. I allowed several tears to slip away as I pined over a life I never had and never would have. Is it too much to ask for life to be easy? 

Updating early again because I've got another busy weekend ahead. I've considered doing a side story on one of the side characters, who would you guys like to see in a story?

Stay happy!

~AJ.