Alicia

My phone started screeching at me that it was time to get up. I groaned and with half-opened eyes, slapped my hand around the nightstand until I found the thing to stop the infernal racket. This was my payback for working late.

Rising from bed, I stumbled my way to the shared bathroom to start my morning routine. Forty-Five minutes later my long brown hair is pulled back with a clip and my make up is done just the way I liked it. Not too much mind you, just some eyeliner paired with mascara. Then some foundation to hide any blemishes. And of course my favorite pink lip gloss which brings the whole ensemble together. Compared to how I used to dress in high school, this was minimal.

Unfortunately my church was the one thing that is not within walking distance. And since I do not own a car, I have to hop on the GO Train and head east into Scarborough. Which to be honest was kind of nice. It got me out of my comfortable five blocks of city and into a different part of the Greater Toronto Area. Plus, who didn't enjoy riding on a train?

Out of my apartment I ran over to Union Station to grab my train before it departed. I just made it on before the doors closed behind me. Either I needed to wake up earlier or shorten my bathroom time because that was cutting it too close.

The ride was pleasant as I sat on the second story of the train. I always picked the upper level so I could fully enjoy the amazing view of Lake Ontario. It never got boring. I tried really hard not to think about work. I wanted to be able to enjoy my Sunday without distraction, but still, it was a struggle.

I jumped off at Guildwood, a charming suburb that sat right along the shoreline. From the station it was another fifteen minute walk to Guildwood Fellowship. I had discovered the church through an advertisement on Facebook, where they were hosting a young adults meet and greet night. I had been in Toronto about a year by that point and had yet to connect with any Christians my age. I figured, what did I have to lose?

The church was smaller than what I had expected, but I instantly felt welcomed and it wasn't long till it felt like home.

As I approached a medium-size brick building that was surrounded by trees, my heart couldn't help but feel a little bit of enthusiasm. I had given my heart to Jesus almost ten years ago now and I don't know how I didn't do it sooner. I tiny prick of guilt touched my conscious at the type of person I was before. The way I had treated people. Especially....but I pushed the thought aside. I reminded myself that I was no longer that person but a new creation.

I entered into a nice air conditioned foyer. A few people were already milling about, one of them was the youth pastor who also doubled up as the worship leader, Pastor Dave. I gave a slight wave as I headed through into the sanctuary.

With high vaulted ceilings and comfy padded chairs, I never thought church could be so homey. The church I grew up in, though slightly bigger, had the hard wooden pews that you never could get quite comfortable in. I scanned around seeing if any of the other young adults had arrived yet.

Sitting in our usual section, a guy by the name of Liam Corbin caught my eye and waved me over. I let out a small sigh that he was alone. Liam was a great person but he had not been shy about asking me out on a date. Multiple times. There were only so many times a girl could say no before it was just uncomfortable. I didn't have anything personal against Liam, there just wasn't a spark there. No fireworks. I had dated on and off over the years but after coming up with nothing but heartache, I decided I was good being single for a while.

I walked over to join him since it would be rude at this point not to and sat down a few seats away in the same row. He scooched over till there was only one empty seat between us.

"Hey Alicia, how's it going?"

I gave a smile that I hoped was not too encouraging. "It's going well," I replied. "I'm really enjoying the summer weather."

"The heat must be stifling downtown where you're surrounded by nothing but concrete. I keep telling you that you have to come out to my parent's cottage sometime. There's tons of fun things we can do out on the water to stay cool."

I cringed. This was not the first time Liam had tried to get me to the cottage. If it had been a group thing, sure, but the one-on-one thing just spelled awkward. Especially since the feelings were very one sided.

Thankfully I was spared of having to answer by our friend Jessica coming to join us.

"Hey," she said, taking the vacant seat between Liam and I, "Is it just me, or is everyone like, really late?"

I laughed. "You're just early," I corrected.

"Okay, good, cause the bus ran five minutes late."

Jessica was known for being extremely punctual.

By now the sanctuary was half-full. A couple named Olivia and Devon filled up the seats at the other end of the row. They had been dating since I started attending Guildwood Fellowship. Olivia gave a big wave, an exuberant smile on her face. A waved back with a raised eyebrow at her enthusiasm. Someone was feeling chipper today.

The band began their warm up and the congregation settled down to begin worship. I lost myself in the music, raising my hands as I praised God. In these moments, there was no struggling business, or dating woes. It was just me and my God.

After the song ended we all sat down and Pastor Kevin came to the podium.

"Before I start off our service today, I have an important announcement to make," he said with a mischievous grin.

A few whispers rippled throughout the room as we waited expectantly for his news.

"I'm happy to announce that Devon and Olivia have just become engaged!"

The congregation broke out into cheers and clapping as Devon and Olivia stood to accept their congratulations. I stood as well to get in line to give big hugs to the happy couple. But even as I wrapped my arms around Olivia to tell her how happy I was for them, there was a small pang of jealousy that stirred in my chest. I tried to squish it down, reminding myself that I was happy with my singleness, that I wanted to be single. But if that were true, why was I yearning for something that I supposedly didn't want?

+++

For once I actually left church early after the service was over. It was harder than I thought it would be to watch everyone crowd around the newly engaged couple to offer their congratulations or ask about wedding details.

I told myself it was because I needed to get back home in order to be well rested for my long work week ahead. But I knew the truth. My world got a little shaken that morning and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about it.

Normally on a Sunday after church, I would spend the day at home reading or go for a run around the city. Today however, I was too restless to sit still with my confusing thoughts. What I needed was distraction. And so I did the one thing I said I would never do on my Sunday. I worked. With my big presentation coming up, it was the one thing that would get me to stop overthinking my dating life. Or rather, the lack thereof.

The week went by surprisingly fast and the next thing I knew it's Friday again. I felt jittery over my big presentation, but excited too. I dressed in my most professional attire; a black pencil skirt, white shirt and a black blazer to match. I left my hair to cascade down in soft waves with just a bit of makeup. I did not want to come across as "dolled" up, as if I was trying to win points with a pretty face. I wanted my clients to know I was serious about my job and that my work would never be anything but professional.

After quickly stopping by the office to grab a few things, I hailed a cab to take me to the far side of downtown. It was too far to walk (especially in my stiletto heels) and I didn't want to show up smelling like the subway, so a taxi cab it was.

Pulling up beside a high rise building that was not so unlike my own, I joined the crowd as I strolled through the front revolving door. Once inside, I searched the directory for the floor which Tech Security is on. Locating their name, I cringe at how bad it even looks engraved. If I do land this client, I may have to mention rebranding in my strategy plan.

Taking yet another elevator, I stepped out into an almost retro-style decor. Either the office was in a serious need of an update or someone really liked the 80's. I did a second-take to make sure I got off on the correct floor. Sure enough there was a sign that said Tech Security.

The floor plan was a very open concept design. Around the perimeter of the room were cubicles with a few enclosed offices tucked away in the corners. In the center sat what I assumed was a boardroom with windows for walls, revealing an oblong table with empty office chairs surrounding it.

Not seeing a front reception area, I cautiously strolled over to one of the cubicles where a man in a white-buttoned down tee and horned-rimmed glasses typed away on a Mac computer.

"Excuse me," I said, gaining his attention. "I'm here for a meeting with Mr. Kinesman?"

With a slight huff, the man pointed to a desk that was hidden behind the boardroom. "Talk to Sandy, his receptionist?" He said the last word like it was painfully obvious that that was who I was supposed to go to.

I said a quick "thank you" as sweetly as I could, if just a little bit forced. But Captain Obvious had gone back to his work like I no longer existed.

Shaking off the encounter, I straightened my shoulders and pasted a pleasant smile back on my face as I headed over to Sandy. Hoping to receive a warmer welcome this time, I said with a bit more confidence, "Hi, I'm here for my appointment with Mr. Kinesman?"

Sandy, an Asian woman with black hair pulled back into an elaborate twist, looked up from her paperwork and gave me a warm smile. "You must be Alicia from Hope Digital. Mr. Kinesman said to send you right in when you arrived." She gestured to a closed door behind her. This office also had windows, but the blinds were pulled down, blocking my view.

"Thank you," I said without having to force any sweetness into my tone. It was nice to know not everyone here was as uptight as Captain Obvious. Before opening the door, I took a minute to collect myself and did a little self-pep talk before walking in.

Even with the blinds closed, natural light spilled into the room from the half-windows along the back wall. Unlike the rest of the floor, this office space is stark in contrast. Gray carpet, gray walls and a few potted plants that looked on the verge of keeling over. Cameron would be appalled.

In front of the windows sat an L-shaped desk where a man in a three piece suit sat in a high-backed office chair. He rose when I entered and walked around the front to greet me.

"Mr. Kinesman," I said, sticking out my hand as I joined him. "I'm Alicia Hannigan from-"

"Hope Digital," Mr. Kinesman finished as he took my hand with both of his. "But, please, call me Zach."

"Zach" looked to be about in his forties. He had brown hair that was slicked back and a clean shaven jaw. Before letting go of my hand, he does an open perusal of me, starting from my head, down to my toes, and back up. When his eyes met with mine again, a flirtatious smirk graced his face like he liked what he saw. I bristled under his gaze and quickly released my hand. I've had to deal with many men in my life who think women should just fall at their feet. Zach was about to learn real quick that I wasn't one of them.

"I've prepared a presentation, perhaps we could use the boardroom with the white board?" My suggestion is practical, but it would also allow me to feel more comfortable in a room where people can see us.

"In here is fine. It's more appropriate for our meeting."

I gritted my teeth at his definition of appropriate. I realized I should have been more firm in my request but I was trying to be polite and not sound pushy. But obviously that wasn't going to work with Zach.

"Very well," I said as if unfazed. I placed my laptop on his desk and began pulling up my PowerPoint. As I took one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, Zach unfortunately took the other beside me. I had hoped he would return to his seat, creating some space between us.

Although a little awkward at having to sit so close together, I got through my presentation without a hitch. Zach for the most part looked attentive, though I doubted his sincerity at shifting closer as if to view the slide more intently.

When I finished I sat quietly waiting to hear his thoughts on my strategy. My expertise lies in digital marketing, such as using social media. But not all companies had caught on how many potential clients could be reached with just using one site. It was getting them to realize the magnitude of the exposure if they utilized multiple sites.

At first Zach doesn't say anything. He stroked his chin as if contemplating. My hands clenched together to stop myself from fidgeting.

"It looks good Alicia," he finally said. "I may have a few things I want to tweak, but I don't see why we wouldn't be a good fit together."

A smile breaks out on my face. I couldn't help it. Reaching into my laptop bag, I took out a contract that I had written up. "I think Hope Digital will be a great asset to Tech Security. If you sign here, this will create an exclusive partnership between our companies. All the legality details are outlined, as well as my fees over the next three months."

Grabbing a ballpoint pen off his desk, Zach skipped to the last page and signed.

I furrow my eyebrows at his choosing of not reading through it first, especially my fees, but what's done is done. Tech Security was officially my client.

As I packed up my things, I outlined for him the next steps. "Send me the tweaks you want me to implement and over the course of this week I'll prepare social media sites and such with Tech Security's brand and logo. Can we reconvene this time again next week for you to approve the changes?"

Zach nodded, rising from his chair as I did. "I look forward to it. Especially to our exclusive partnership."

The emphasis is not lost on me but with the contract signed, he is now legally bound to carry it out. So I gave him a cool stare that showed I was not impressed. If I was going to be working with this guy over the next three months, I needed to lay the ground rules now.

"And I look forward to having a professional partnership, Mr. Kinesman. Because that is the only one I'm interested in." I did an expert spin in my stilettos and exited his office without so much as a backwards glance.